To think some people never, ever get found out?

[neverwrongme]

I will try and keep it brief.

Family fall out sometime ago. Instigated, caused, made worse, by one member of the family and their adult child.

They have been able to manipulate the rest of the wider family into believing it absolutely was not their fault.

Other family members have been blamed and basically cut out of the wider family.

It has now, today, happened again. With another part of the wider family.

Will these trouble makers ever get found out?

Will these trouble makers ever be held accountable?

Of will they just go around living life leaving a trail of upset behind them?

Will the gullible who fell for their lies ever wake up?

Anyone have experience of this?

I’ve seen this happen in the workplace. You are not wrong.

It’s just so unfair and makes me sick.

Yes of course. I know a man who had a year long affair, declared love etc, who didn't get found out.

I imagine most people have something they're embarrassed/ ashamed off that others don't know (unless they want them to)

Won’t others be able to see the situation as you do?
Won’t the casualties collude and make connections?
Won’t the pattern be recognised and analogies made?

Yep. But people have their own motives for allowing the behaviour to happen.

Usually it's money or power or that they are beholden to them. It's all politics and says just as much about them as it does about the actual person. Probably other things going on that you're not aware of.

This.

Which begs the question, why are you, the OP, choosing to remain silent on the injustice of this?

Maybe it's all down to complex family dynamics, hierarchy and power play. Family members in positions of power are able to manipulate others to their own gain. Do other family members not see the situation as you do? Given time, the dynamics may change

Are you related to me OP? 😂😂😂😂

My mother has made it to 77 and is a nasty toxic woman and even though people know she cannot tell the truth they still side with her.

No, they don't. They're very convincing liars who believe their own lies. They have an incredible ability to twist reality and people have a tendency to believe the first side of the story they hear.

I have horrible personal experience of this and It's incredibly depressing.

I’ve been on the receiving end.
In my experience people like this are highly manipulative and lie as easily as breathing. They usually drop the seeds in everyone else’s ear long before they drop the Grenade that blows relationships apart.
Its infuriating.
I think people have to want to believe the lies they hear though. I think people like you describe show you the people who never had your back in the first place. It’s easier to see it like they’ve done you a favour than let it eat you up. Easier said than done though!

It is so frustrating watching a horrible person getting away with it. Of course we like to think they will eventually get their comeuppance and everyone else will see what they are truly like. Sadly experience tells me this often doesn't happen and the more you try to make others see these manipulative types for who they are the more you are perceived as trouble yourself. Saying that, I do genuinely believe that most people who behave like this are really not happy in themselves and I take a great deal of comfort from that, despite my best efforts not to!

Some people will never be found out because they believe their own lies and are incredibly believable my sil,was like this she lied about everything but was always believable, she died about 9 years ago but left destruction of her entire family due to her lies just before her own unexpected death

Yes, but it has almost become a division of families, within a wider family.

So my family, my siblings families and my parents all understand what is happening.

My fathers siblings and their individual families are still of the belief that it is us.

One of my siblings was ostracised first, now it’s my other siblings turn.

We genuinely haven’t done what we have been accused of.

Yes, I agree with this.

I’m not and I haven’t.

I have tried for years to make people see and understand but I’m not believed and they are either not listening or are choosing not too.

Today’s events have left me furious and I’ve posted here rather than message these arseholes.

They always manage to change the narrative to be the victim(s).

Exactly this!

The “I’m not getting involved” brigade are not asking any questions or asking the other people involved.

They “believe” the first version which is complete bullshit.

Honestly, people side with whoever they like more and don't want to fall out with. I've seen it many times - if someone is likeable and charismatic they can get away with murder.

This is what I have come to realise today.

I have a huge respect for one of my relatives and I’m actually surprised at how hurt I am that yet again, they have been manipulated. At the expense of myself, my siblings and my parents.

We are good people and to know that the wider family are believing untruths without questioning is so hurtful and infuriating.

Yes this is true and actually the liars in this scenario offer more to the believers than we do.

Hey brother! 😜

I’m sorry this is happening in your family OP.
Imo people turn a blind eye because they recognise the toxicity and don’t want to be the next victims - a keeping enemies closer than friends situation.
Hold strong and detach to protect yourselves. You know the truth which gives you strength. Only pay attention to the opinions of those you value.

@Tutifruitie You are right.

At the moment, I feel done with them all even the “I’m not getting involved”.

I do not want or need these people in my life. I gain nothing.

@neverwrongme Page 12 | March 2024 - But we took you to stately homes | Mumsnet

Join us here. Sadly far too many of us dealing with these people.

@Genuineweddingone Thank you!