To ask what you'd think if you got this letter please?

[fruitandbarley]

If you received a letter from another parent at your kids school saying that kids had been playing together at school and that their child had said they'd like to arrange to play together outside of school ( playdate I suppose but I hate that word), and saying that they'd tried to catch you in playground but other kid goes to after school club so never there at same time, and to let them know if you'd like to arrange something.
Would you think it was weird, or ok?
I'm the one who sent the letter, we've not long moved to the area.
I've had no message/reply so wondering now if they think I'm odd.

How did you give them the letter? If it was via their child theres a good chance the letter is at the bottom of their backpack

It’s a perfectly normal letter. It’s probably stuffed at the bottom of the child’s backpack, or parents are just not very organised / have a lot on and are trying to sort out dates to suggest.

Not odd at all. Maybe try again asking for a contact number, giving yours. If you still
don’t hear anything, they probably are not interested, but don’t stress, you did nothing wrong.

Are you sure they’ve received the letter? How did you pass it on? I don’t think it’s odd at all :)

I wouldn't find it odd at all. I'd perhaps think the parent was a bit shy/ awkward with face to face contact with people they didn't know or genuinely hadn't been able to catch the other parent.

Not weird, it's fine to send a note.

But I don't know whether to answer YABU for thinking it's weird or YANBU for sending a letter.

Nothing wrong with that at all

If my kids had been given a letter to give to me there's a good chance I would get it in about 3 months time.

I mean there's potential for the wording of the 'tried to catch you on the playground but your kid goes to after school club' to sound critical I suppose, totally depends how you worded it exactly (if you're looking for reasons other than kids being a bit forgetful) but it's far more likely its in with a bunch of other school stuff the kid hasn't handed over, or it's been lost in all the other random paper kids take home.

It's maybe put in the tray at school, the mum might see it at the end of term, or it might just take a few days.

I did this exact same thing when I moved, I got a reply 2 weeks later, mum had missed the note in the bag 💐

Is there a year group WhatsApp? I think that note is perfectly acceptable, but my DD in reception comes home with so much crap art and loose pieces of paper that it’s so easy for it to be missed. I found an accident form in between her books from December this evening!

The letter sounds lovely.

Truth?
I'd internally groan.
I'd think - my kids goes to after school club and socialises there.
They don't need a sodding playdate.
I'd also resent the putting it in my corner to arrange something.
I'd have wanted you to either invite my kid over to your house as it's you that is wanting the playdate OR to tell me what you had in mind, bearing in mind it looks like it's going to be at a weekend, given my kid goes to wrap around care.

but

I'm an anti-social sod who doesn't like this and would rather our kids did the same sports club/hobby or played together online.

Thanks all, I gave the note to the leader of after school club to pass on as my son and the other child were both there.

I didn't mention not seen them because he was in after school club, just said kept missing them.

Thanks for replying, its been hard relocating and I don't know anyone and feel very awkward in playground with groups of parents already chatting, but been forcing myself to try and speak to people for my children's sake.

Starting to think I'm probably over thinking it now which knowing me is highly likely.

That was perfectly fine (presuming they're not 15!!)

when did you send it?

if it's been over a week, you could try send a second note but put it in a very brightly coloured envelope. I'd apologise for sending another note, & say you wonder if they had found it in their DS's in his school bag as yours seems to find things lurking, but not for ages!

is there a class WhatsApp or contact list? Then you could text her instead.

You're a better Mum than I am!
Hopefully, they're a more sociable Mum than me

Next time would it not be easier to just say ‘can x come to tea and to play on x date ‘ and then put your name and number .

I'd be pleased my DC was making friends and give you a ring. A nice note to find at the bottom of your DC's bag.

Ha! Fair enough, I did sort of say " come round and play" as in at our house, but was conscious they don't know me so wanted to try and work round what they could/wanted to do. My kids 4 and dosent play anything online, and were very rural so the after school clubs are the only practical ones on weekdays. The friend in question stays afterwards for the wrap around care I believe which is why I don't see them.

I would love that, as it means my child is being social and kind to new people. However I am fairly sure it would take a while to get to me as he is rubbish at remembering to get things out of his bag.

They're in reception, and I only sent it 3 days ago. I should probably stop thinking about it really. Thanks

I did of course put my phone number, but wanted to keep the arrangement open so we'd have chance to arrange something that suited us both.

@fruitandbarley if it’s not convenient you’ve started the communication though , whereas a washy let me know if you’d like to arrange something gives them the option to just not bother . My way they have to reply or they are just plain rude .

I understand, but if they're not interested I don't want them to bother, and if they're rude I'd rather not do it anyway.

And it's done now so I can't really change anything. Appreciate your reply though thanks, I'll remember that if I ever try anything like this again.

Well done for taking so initiative. Only good will come of it.