Husband following hundreds of women…

[Leopardspots338]

So I just want other peoples opinions.
i have recently found my husbands TikTok account where he is following hundreds and I mean hundreds of half naked women. Now I am not talking about gym goers in tight leggings.. I will show you some examples. He is also following hundreds more on Facebook and Instagram too.
galactica.whr
oppai_sense
maysa.alcantara95
ladyaisha27

Now. I am in no way naive in thinking that men don’t look at these types of things. But he has his full name and it’s a public forum where anyone can look at who he’s following. Our kids both have phones and are getting to an age where they are going to be joining social media. I genuinely believe this just shows his complete lack of respect for me. AIBU?

This would give me alarms bells for porn addiction. Head over to love after porn on reddit and see if anything else seems fitting. At least then you will be armed with the right information to see the signs.

If its an addiction deleting the app won't make a difference he will just get better at hiding.

FYI in Y5 and Y6 my daughter's classmate's dad was putting up stupid Tik Tok's dancing sexily, pretending to sing stuff like "you wont get a better man than me", winking to the camera etc. Of course all the kids found it. And discussing in class the teacher said "Oh. What is the Tik Tok handle?" So likely all school staff were watching on their lunchbreak. And when we met up with parent friends and had a few drinks we would take a look to see the latest Tik Toks. The kids were nice to the child and felt sorry for him. So yes he will be found and be an embarrassment/laughing stock.

Id fin my local ‘are we dating the same man’ group and post his pic 🙀

If I was you, I would tell him that you are going to go to Ann Summers to buy something sexy and then you are going to set up your own tik tok and Facebook page and fill it with half naked photos and videos. See if he likes the idea of dirty perverts looking at you. When he objects just say, "well I'm a woman".

TikTok is fantastic for recipes and cleaning hacks etc. I've never seen anything dodgy on there but haven't gone looking. I'm over 50 so it's a bit rude to say it's for people without a life or under 25.

Been through something similar found my husband liking and following inflated half naked women on Facebook never did this before and I was gutted. Porn is one thing it’s discreet and not something we share but to be that affected to have to like and follow on Facebook where everyone can see it well I went mad. Hasn’t happened since but unbeknown to him I got into his Facebook so the day he crosses my clear boundary again he’s gone

But if your husband comments on any of those women's posts on Facebook, it will show all his followers if the page is public or some posts are open which they usually are for that type of person! So actually less private than insta or tiktok.
I think personally, that he has an addiction and quite clearly isn't willing to admit to it. Very sad but also a huge problem, because they rarely stop at just looking. If this is the only issue OP, maybe counselling might work but if there are other issues or doubts in your mind then I'd just make a clean break.

Because she's only just found out.

This is horrible OP
I'm really sorry.

Not sure who said that but it wasn’t me!

Thank you for all of your replies. I am glad that it’s not just me that believes this is really inappropriate especially for the fact he’s married with kids who both have phones (thankfully aren’t on TikTok).
I am really struggling with it all to be honest. There’s other issues with the relationship and I think in my head I know that I am done, just finding it hard to tell him.

Wondering how the op is still here and how things have gone ? Found myself in the same situation

No YANBU - FFS how pathetic! Wonder how he would feel about you following Fit men?

My husband had me and my children as his picture 🙈

All men are dogs, you might think yours isn’t , if you do you are deluded … but having said that there are levels of doggery.
If your man isn’t abusive to you either verbally, financially, emotionally or physically, then you are in the winning team
If your man side eyes other women when out, well they all eye fuck ladies, actually look . If they f’ck other women behind your back… occasionally on an off chance over a very long relationship which we go into with them , that’s a given .
But constantly being a predator which this one is might be a deal breaker ! Should be ! If you catch him 🤷🏻‍♀️

Oh shit.. sound like this was the straw that broke the camel’s back.. best of luck to you, do right by yourself and your kids.. leave the sad little man to his pathetic scrolling

Your dh sought sexual gratification from other women, which is the very definition of cheating. Utterly disrespectful, and where there is no respect there can be no love. Sorry you're going through this, OP.

He seems to have a type.

Sounds a little bit thick. Surely if he wanted a wank account he would create another. Some men are also stupid enough to believe that an AI generated beauty saying she is bored and needs a good time are generally intimately talking to them. There's loads of these phishing accounts.

The algorithms that pick similar content to follow can be a right nightmare. My Mum is totally down a few neo-nazi rabbit holes and parrots conspiracy theories as if they are fact. We need to teach our loved ones how better to use the Internet.

My story is similar to yours , when TikTok first brought out watch history I had a bad feeling maybe I shouldn’t have went threw his phone I never do as I didn’t believe there would be anything for me to find naive me , I’m glad I did go threw but then a part of me isn’t because our relationship hasn’t been the same but I ended up going threw the history and found some videos of women in bikins shaking their bums etc. now don’t get me wrong I am not trying to sound cocky by any means but I don’t believe I am a ugly woman I may be a bit over weight but in the right places and I have a normal bmi , but to make a long story short I found the videos and I confronted him to why he was watching them he claimed they came up on his fyp and he never watched them which I know he did they wouldn’t be there if he didn’t , I told him how I felt and that I didn’t feel comfortable with this he told me he would delete tik tok and wouldn’t have nothing to do with it anymore I was happy with that as he uses ig reels and fb reels anyways to watch videos , after maybe 2 years a couple of months ago I was using his email to create an account on a different platform as the link would not send to my own email as I clicked into the email I seen a TikTok code I never taught much of it at the time and I ignored it as I said to myself he doesn’t have that he told me he would delete it. After that I was using his phone again for the same platform to send a code again as I had forgotten the password the email was still there from Tktok , he had forgotten to delete it it was in the bin folder he forgot to premantly delete it when I checked App Store I seen TikTok was last down loaded the time he told me he would delete it but what I didn’t know is App Store only shows the first installation date it doesn’t show any dates after, I then continued to install TikTok there was no log ins saved or any of that so I first taught he wasn’t on it then I just clicked log in with apple I found an account I went into the history again and this was nothing like the time I first found videos a video here and there this was just hundreds of half naked women , women who would be my friends women who I know all sorts , I screenshotted everything and sent them to my phone as I was logging out I continued with google and found another account same thing hundreds of women I continued with phone number same thing again and then I found another account with the gmail email where he had 2 created with one email as one was continued with google and one was continued with email , the same with Apple ID one was created with his apple and was was with the actual apple email this upset me to a point where I just couldn’t believe what I was seeing as there was no normal videos just all women and where a woman could come up and he would stalk her account and look at all her videos and when I clicked into the accounts it was specific videos he was watching where they would be only half naked he skipped by ones of selfie videos and normal videos and would only watch them half wearing nothing really , this made me so insecure , I confronted him and first he tried say he wasn’t watching them and he doesn’t know what this is , I threatened to leave him and he told the truth and said he was sorry and he would never do it again , I have since then been checking his phone and logging into the accounts to see if he has been using them and there is nothing but I can’t seem to shake it or get over it because he was so sneaky about it first and the accounts where created with hide my email so he knew what he was doing in case I would ever come to check and look with his normal email which I never did but he was prepared if I did I would not have found them because when you choose hide my email it creates a totally different email than your own , what do I do I don’t think he has been on the platform since and bare in mind when I confronted him first he said let me go threw your watch history to check for men!?!?!? I let him go threw because I have nothing to hide because I believe when your in a relationship you should have eyes and eyes only for that person now I do understand if you see an attractive women you might glance I’m straight and I will look and I don’t expect my husband to not look as it’s in our nature. But I don’t know what to do I have not told anyone about this only me and him know and he has asked me have I told anyone else and I have told him no and I feel like he is embarrassed obviously since he is asking have I told anyone else but what do I do since I found all this out I feel completely lost I feel so betrayed we have been fighting all the time and anytime we fight I bring it up because I don’t know how to shake it or get over it , bare in mind he doesn’t like me to wear the clothes that he was watching these women wear , also just to add I was pregnant when I found all the accounts the second time I gained a lot of weight in my pregnancy but the videos were watched before I was pregnant and during my pregnancy when I hadn’t gained weight until the end of my pregnancy , I can go days without food or I could go days where I will eat everything I see because I feel like this has made me like this , I love my husband and I don’t want to leave him because I can’t imagine my life without him and he is so good to me in every other way but I feel like he can’t do nothing worse to me or make feel worse in any other way and since finding these videos which I don’t think he has or ever had and I asked him and he assured me he didn’t but there’s something in my head making me think he cheated on me whilst all this was going on because as I told him if he was watching all sorts of women randomly just watching and going by it wouldn’t have been as bad but he was going into their accounts and obviously fantasising about them and it was certain women because some women in the videos he would just watch and scroll by but then there are lots where he continually watched all their videos I don’t know what to do can anyone help or tell me how do I try get over this this happened several months ago nearly a year and it still feels like yesterday when I think about it , don’t get me wrong some days I don’t think about it at all and then we could be together all day and be great and then I could just look at him and it comes into my head and breaks my heart all over again.

It is completely not on. No man should be looking at women in a lascivious way let alone a married one.

Grim. Sums it up perfectly

I bet loads of them are scam accounts and they message him and he'll think they're real - what a stupid thick grim grim man.