Annoyed DH gets his mum to give the kids their bath

[LuceBellPip]

DH and I have 3 kids,4 year old and twin two year olds. On Wednesday we have dinner at his parents house, it's a chance for the kids to see their grandparents and gives us a night off from cooking.
For our kids we bathe them daily, it helps them know it's bedtime and they are just mucky pups so it's needed.
On a Wednesday after dinner from 6-7 I go to ladies night at the tennis club, this is new just started in the last 2 months. His parents live next door to the club so I leave at 5.55 and I'm back for 7.05. I asked him to use that time to take the kids home, bathe them and have them ready for me coming home. Bedtime for the twins is about 7.30 and it's 7.45 for older DD. All 3 kids are still breastfed to sleep, really trying to work on this with DD but it brings her comfort.
Usually it goes I bathe the twins while DH reads with DD (she's just starting to learn), I bathe DD while DH reads the twins a story, I feed the twins while DH reads DD a story and then I feed DD. This works relatively well. Whole process starts just after 6.30. So DH never actually does bath time!

Now the first 2 Wednesdays I went to tennis, he did take them home while I was at tennis, I got home for 7.10, fed the twins, fed DD - everyone was happy! Since then DH has got his mum to bathe all the kids at hers then waits until I'm done at tennis to take the kids home with me.
Naturally I would be ok with this, but DH finishes work, parks the car at ours and walks down to his parents (5 minutes) so he can have a drink with dinner. This means we have to walk the kids back, with wet hair. All the relaxing effects of bath time are lost, we don't get in until 7.15 and they are all hyped up. It makes feeding them more difficult and is just a major pain. Tonight DD wasn't down until 8.15 and one twin has only just fallen asleep now at almost 9!! They usually do so well with bedtime!!
Ive asked DH why he can't just bathe them himself at home and he says oh his mum likes doing it and it makes her feel involved.
I know really that he just doesn't like doing it, the first half of bath time can be chaotic!! Water everywhere etc.
He doesn't see the issue, but I feel like I've lost an hour having to settle the kids tonight, I had things to get done!

AIBU to think it's just laziness and not understand why he can't just take them home?

Have you told him baldly “if they walk home after your mum baths them at her house, they lose an hour’s sleep”?

The 4yo is old enough to learn how to cope with a change of routine, but not the twins yet (plus you need your sanity). Maybe the 4yo can stay at granny’s until the end of your class, then you take her home with you. While you’re at class, DH can take the twins home and have them bathed for when you arrive. When you get home, nurse the twins and put them down while DH baths the 4yo, then nurse the 4yo and out her down?

You need to drop the bath time on a Wednesday. Then that'll become part of the routine. 6 days a week is more than enough bath times. It seems a bit of a contradiction to be so rigid with bedtimes but so laid back with still breast feeding a 4 year old.

it seems that you tag-team with stories & bath time, so who does what when he goes to the gym?

He doesn't see the issue
"The issue is that in exchange for 1 hour free time I've had to pay with more than that battling three kids to bed because you can't be arsed to do once a week, something I do six times a week"

He goes after reading DD her story.

You have three very young children and a routine that works well for you, it's not acceptable for him to ruin your evening and unsettle the kids so he can take it easy and palm off the childcare responsibilities to his mum.

Tell him he needs to put his kids needs (their calming bedtime routine) above his wants and take the kids home and bath them.

You having a short break to do some exercise shouldn't result in him punishing you by winding your kids up and leaving them to you to settle, that's really unfair.

Can’t he just drive you all home? This would eliminate the walking back with wet hair. Which presumably isn’t nice in the recent cold weather.

This is really simple. Tell him if he’s going muck up the kids’ routines then Weds is his night to put all 3 of them to bed. So you feed them and he does the rest.

He’ll change his attitude within a fortnight.

Can I ask the people that feed to sleep (breast or bottle) when did your children stop waking in the night?

I' assume your a busy mum with a job so ---drop the feeding and just get the mil to cone to yours.
Stop the nonsense of walking home after a very relaxing bath that's just silly.

Or change the night you go to MILs house to a different night to the one you play tennis. So tennis night he deals with the dcs at home by himself. The MIL night has to be one where you are there to say no to bath at her house, you go home in time for that.

If the routine isn’t the same on his gym nights, then perhaps a change on tennis night wouldn’t be so different. Maybe just skipping a bath once a week is the solution rather than him dealing with two sets of bathing/stories?

The kids routine is the same on gym nights, just as soon as he's read DD her story he leaves for the gym and I feed her.