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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

A friend saying I was offensive

54 replies

MirrorCastle · 24/04/2024 17:17

A few weeks ago I had a get together at my place, drinks where flowing and it was my friends and partners. A couple of weeks later one of my friends messaged me that she needed to address something with me and had a problem with my comment that night. Whilst some people were in the garden I realized it was getting on so I asked people to head inside or keep it down a little. I then went into the kitchen when said friends partner was and he asked where his wife was. I replied 'she's outside, can you not hear her?' in a jokey tone. He laughed and I thought nothing more of it until she tells me she was coming threw the door and took great offence at the comment. I apologized and told her there was no malice but told me I caused a huge row between her and her partner as he tried to tell her she was reading too much into the comment and she thought he was dismissing her feelings. WTF. AIBU to feel this is a bit silly?

OP posts:
DaisyP22 · 27/04/2024 18:39

The issue here is that he found it a joke, and when he reiterated it to her she’s got annoyed that he took it jokingly. So she’s taking their argument out on you. As you said, drinks were flowing. People tend to get louder after a few drinks and also can take things the wrong way. Just say you’re sorry she found it offensive as thar certainly wasn’t your intention.

jumpingjacksss · 27/04/2024 19:45

@YeahComeOnThen do one

YeahComeOnThen · 27/04/2024 21:08

jumpingjacksss · 27/04/2024 19:45

@YeahComeOnThen do one

@jumpingjacksss

Err. What are you on about?

Did you @ the wrong poster??

leftorrightnow · 27/04/2024 21:16

Well it depends on your relationship, every friendship circle is different, but just speaking for myself I’d have felt a little hurt if a friend has said something like that about me. I likely wouldn’t have mentioned it to my DH and wouldn’t have taken it up w my friend, I’d just have made a mental note to not get too close to that friend. But then I’m very sensitive to stuff like that, it’s just how I am, I don’t like unkind comments, its just not a style of communication I enjoy, but plenty of people are fine with gentle ribbing and banter, so just sounds like maybe the two of you are quite different and maybe not close friendship potential

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