Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be shocked at the arrogance of this man

63 replies

Mellowmallow201 · 24/04/2024 08:12

Selling my car, man rings me interested. We arrange a time he can come look at the car. I arrive at the time to see he has all my car doors open and is sitting in my car routing through the glove box and at the manuals. My DF was also meeting is there as he had the keys, DF rang to say he had to go get a tyre pump because one tyre was flatish. Df must have left the car open.

I approach the car and said oh have you seen my DF who opened the car for you. He laughs and says no the car was open so thought I'd have a look, why not. No apology. I just thought it was very arrogant to open up someone else's car and sit in it whilst routing around. He knew I would turn up at any minute. He also didn't know my DF would be showing up, so makes me wonder would he have done the same if he knew a man was meeting him. I think he probably wouldn't.

He took it for a drive. Said he would let me know either way yes or no. But he didn't and I didn't hear from him. Why say that if you had no intention of doing it. He was also running on about making his drive bigger to accommodate 8 cars in his drive blah blah.

Aibu to be annoyed about this?

OP posts:
WinterMorn · 24/04/2024 08:59

RespiceFinemKarma · 24/04/2024 08:46

Why would you confront a strange man on your own? He is doing it to intimidate.

Thats a massive leap. It’s entitlement not intimidation. And for what it’s worth, yes I absolutely would.

RespiceFinemKarma · 24/04/2024 09:00

DrJoanAllenby · 24/04/2024 08:53

How is he intimidating her simply by viewing the car?

She has arrived at the agreed time and he is in her car as if he owns it already.
If you were letting your house and someone just walked in without ringing the bell you'd be worried. I agree with OP, you don't touch anyone else's things if they aren't there when you don't know them.

WinterMorn · 24/04/2024 09:02

RespiceFinemKarma · 24/04/2024 09:00

She has arrived at the agreed time and he is in her car as if he owns it already.
If you were letting your house and someone just walked in without ringing the bell you'd be worried. I agree with OP, you don't touch anyone else's things if they aren't there when you don't know them.

Two totally separate scenarios.

Newsenmum · 24/04/2024 09:04

I can imagine me and dh doing that. Turning up. Where is she? Pull the handle. Ooh it’s open! Let’s look inside. It’s not yours as you’re selling it.

GreenWheat · 24/04/2024 09:04

You always get time wasters and people that you wonder how they function in daily life. That's just part and parcel of selling directly. I think it was rude to open up the car without anyone there, especially if you weren't late to the meeting. You have no idea whether or not he also behaves like this to men. In my experience, most times when people say "he wouldn't do that to a man" they have zero basis for it.

mumda · 24/04/2024 09:05

Empty the car ready for sale.
Never leave anything in a parked car as not everyone is as polite as this man as he only opened the door and not smashed a window to look in.

Always lock the car.

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 24/04/2024 09:06

Honestly, if the car is open then it looks like it's open to start looking over

Sounds like he went into the glove box looking for the manuals for the car to check them rather than just wanting a look at OP's stuff

RespiceFinemKarma · 24/04/2024 09:07

GreenWheat · 24/04/2024 09:04

You always get time wasters and people that you wonder how they function in daily life. That's just part and parcel of selling directly. I think it was rude to open up the car without anyone there, especially if you weren't late to the meeting. You have no idea whether or not he also behaves like this to men. In my experience, most times when people say "he wouldn't do that to a man" they have zero basis for it.

Only a few decades of behavioural research. No, nothing at all to back up that men treat men differently to women.

BaconCozzers · 24/04/2024 09:10

He does sound like an arrogant arse, but my real problem would be with whoever left my car unlocked for randoms to sniff around in.

Whatsitcalled38 · 24/04/2024 09:14

He arrived to buy a car, the seller wasn't even there, which would annoy me. A tyre was flat. The car was left unlocked so he had a look while waiting for you to arrive. There shouldn't be anything left in the car of a personal nature when you're selling it. But it also shouldn't have flat tyres.

I wouldn't have bought the car from you but also wouldn't have even bothered taking it for a drive. Wouldn't have messaged you either.

ByUmberCrow · 24/04/2024 10:50

It’s bad manners, pure and simple.

OP I would check what he had access to in the car - hopefully no personal information, etc.

I would also be extra careful with ensuring the car is locked from now on, seeing as he knows it has been left open…

BobbyBiscuits · 24/04/2024 10:53

He sounds like a arse. Be glad you're not selling to him. You'll get pricks and time wasters, you just have to move on and forget it.

KreedKafer · 24/04/2024 10:58

He's just a man you were having some business dealings with. Yeah, he seems like a bit of a dick. But I wouldn't really expect everyone who came to look at a car I was selling to be someone I'd like on a personal level.

If the car was open I can see why he sat in it, to be honest. Why was it open? He probably assumed it was left open for a reason. And someone should have been there when he arrived, and the car shouldn't have had a flat tyre, so I'm guessing he might have found you as annoying as a seller as you found him as a buyer.

Whatifthehokeycokey · 24/04/2024 11:43

I'm not sure why he tried the handles to see if the door was open?

Clarinet1 · 24/04/2024 11:51

Newsenmum · 24/04/2024 09:04

I can imagine me and dh doing that. Turning up. Where is she? Pull the handle. Ooh it’s open! Let’s look inside. It’s not yours as you’re selling it.

Err - a sale involves money changing hands and, until it does, the car is the OP’s!
However, I do agree that whoever left the car unlocked was foolish.

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 24/04/2024 12:16

Whatifthehokeycokey · 24/04/2024 11:43

I'm not sure why he tried the handles to see if the door was open?

He might not have tried the handles tbf

You can see some cars are unlocked by the little "stick" being up or down

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 24/04/2024 12:37

@Mellowmallow201 I take it he wasnt allowed to take it for a test drive by himself??? cannot believe your dad left the car unlocked though!!

Mellowmallow201 · 24/04/2024 14:54

It was my DF who left it open because it was left at his business premises. So I am cross with my DF too. Also annoyed at the person for have a rummage in my car. Also just found out from DF he's been leaving the key in the ignition because apparently its "safe" to do so in the area. I'm furious. My DF is a smart man too, just clearly couldn't care less about my car

OP posts:
Mellowmallow201 · 24/04/2024 14:55

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 24/04/2024 12:16

He might not have tried the handles tbf

You can see some cars are unlocked by the little "stick" being up or down

What sticks this? The car doesn't have the old lock things on the door to see if it's locked or unlocked

OP posts:
podcastrunner · 24/04/2024 14:55

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

podcastrunner · 24/04/2024 14:56

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Mellowmallow201 · 24/04/2024 14:56

Whatsitcalled38 · 24/04/2024 09:14

He arrived to buy a car, the seller wasn't even there, which would annoy me. A tyre was flat. The car was left unlocked so he had a look while waiting for you to arrive. There shouldn't be anything left in the car of a personal nature when you're selling it. But it also shouldn't have flat tyres.

I wouldn't have bought the car from you but also wouldn't have even bothered taking it for a drive. Wouldn't have messaged you either.

I arrived dead on 3pm which was the agreed time. So there was nothing to be annoyed about time wise

OP posts:
Mellowmallow201 · 24/04/2024 14:57

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

I didn't realise I had a flat tyre. Wow I feel like in being attacked here for nothing

OP posts:
Londonrach1 · 24/04/2024 14:58

You shouldn't have left the car open. Don't understand why you didn't pump the tyres up yourself...it's very easy.

Mellowmallow201 · 24/04/2024 14:59

RespiceFinemKarma · 24/04/2024 09:07

Only a few decades of behavioural research. No, nothing at all to back up that men treat men differently to women.

Exactly this. Men do in fact treat women alot differently. I study psychology and this is a big interest of mine. It's everywhere in every day life

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread