18 year old 'pocket money' amount

[MrsJa]

How much should just turned 18 year old DS get as pocket money per month.

Is still at college, works part time getting at least £600 per month before overtime added.

No board to pay.
Eats food from home but pays for own driving lessons and meals out with friends.

We pay for holidays.

What are peoples thoughts/ opinions?

Nothing.

Good for you. Yes I agree the situation here is a bit different but I just don’t like the attitude on here that when your children get to 18 they have to help to pay their way. Let them study.

Ooo didn’t read the whole thing!

just read update…

does his dad not pay any maintenance?

Haven't had chance to read every reply yet but have had an overview- thank you all.

Apologies to those who feel offended, my question was an answer to the first question- how much for an 18 year old.

I also realise I may have misled by saying DS but we have a belief in our family there are no steps / halves as every child is important equally.

DS's mum does not give him the money as since she has married a new partner some years ago we had to change to pay into her savings account and she makes no secret about it's her reward for carrying DS for 9 months so she has a big girly holiday a couple of times a year.
We will not continue to give mum money.

DS was 50/50 until about 5 years ago as he has quad bikes on the land at his mums so has his mates over most nights- even in the winter as it's got a floodlit track. We would love him to come home to us but accept we are just an average family in comparison to what he has at his mums with his own room cleaned twice a week- I'd love to live there!

We are aware mum may charge him board for her savings now as her DH has said she needs to fund her girly holidays as he pays for all their others.

Some good suggestions which we will discuss. We do want to give him something or save something for him as this is about our commitment to him and we certainly will never wash our hands of him.

Like I say sorry if I didn't share enough but it really is about the amount of money he should have. I know some people would see what he has at his mums, then his own wages on top and say nothing but he is a lovely young man and we are committed to him regardless what he has.

Thank you to every one of you for taking the time to respond to me.

I think you need to tell him hes an adult now act like one.
Cut the apron strings.
Sorry if its harsh but stop mothering him.
Big world outside he needs to know about and mums not gonna bail him out learn him to save spend wisely budget etc.

You sound lovely parents and I think it is nice that you still want to help him out. We didn't cut off financial help as soon as our kids reached 18 and carried on paying for things like a mobile phone for several years until they were able to take it over. I still like to help my kids out from time to time and they are married with children themselves. They are always very grateful to have something extra when it is back to school and they have uniform and activities to pay for. I think you could pay for his phone or similar or maybe put money away for when he needs a deposit for a house or a car. I am sure he would be very grateful to have a little nest egg.

You sound more ridiculous with each update. You give the impression that it is you and your husband providing his accommodation/food/holidays when it clearly isn't. Now a petty tirade on his mother's spending habits. Unless his food, utilities, quad track, clothes etc have somehow miraculously been obtained for free by his mother then no, you were not paying for her 'girly' holidays, this is just how she chose to manage her money. If he is still living in a home provided by his mother then his father should be contributing to those costs.

YABU op

Your update makes you sound worse.

The maintenance your step-son’s FATHER pays is used by his mum to pay for the electricity, gas, water and food to enable him to live. As well as to maintain the house in which DSS HAS A BEDROOM. It’s not used on ‘girly’ holidays.

If your dp was any decent of sort of man he would continue to pay his ex wife to support their son.

You sound very scathing about the woman who has taken care of DSS for the past 5 years whilst your DP did the bare minimum.

@MrsJa

also why are you so begrudging of his mum going on holidays with her mates ?

Don’t you go on holidays with friends?

Still zero. He has a higher disposable income than many people so it’s madness to top it up. Learning to budget and save is something you could help with.

Ahhh and there we have it!

How many holidays a year his mother has are none of your business. She's still providing a roof over his head/feeding him etc at a cost to herself, this is what the CSA is covering!

I totally agree with this. Now the OPs update has been read. I wouldn’t mind betting that the £600 a month is a gross exaggeration.

If DS was living with you full time it would be different.

My ExH gives my DC money each month, they are both at Uni. He has said he will continue when they finish until they are established in jobs etc.

He recognises if they were with him full time, it would cost him money indirectly for food etc.

It helps me because I don't need to contribute and cover their living costs over the holidays.

Ouch this went south! His mum if free to spend her money on what she like ‘girlie holidays’ ffs unless he fathered a son with a child you mean her female friends

he is 18 and in education- a good man continues maintenance- my ex still pays and I have two in uni - because I am still paying a mortgage on their home - where they come home all summer and will do until they finish - because he’s a decent dad and suggested this when we divorced

Ha ha pocket money at 18! Good one.

Agree with pp, the maintenance your dh has been paying to ds's mother is to cover his food, heating, clothes, transport to college etc etc. If she has additional income to spend on a holiday with friends that is none of your business. Your husband is doing the bare minimum to raise a child. Re finances now, I would expect you dh to be contributing to driving lessons and to support your ds if he chooses to go to university. If he was a decent father he'd continue to give ds's maintenance money to pay for his food and heating etc between uni terms.

CMS should continue until the end of August after living education not the same exact day they finish.

No pocket money.

If he has a trip planned I might give him something extra towards it. Help out with a car if it's needed. Help with uni costs.

Zero.

Nothing - he's earning loads! In fact, I'd be charging him a small amount of monthly rent (you can invest it for him, if you don't need it).

I’m shocked that people stop giving money to 16-18yr olds in full time education. I seriously had no idea. I don’t think this is the norm where I am…

I would at least give enough to cover transport, any costs associated with study, and a bit extra so they could save a lot of their earnings. £100-200 per month depending on my circumstances.

You'd charge rent to a person that doesn't even live with you?

@Shoutinglagerlagerlager this is mumsnet where teenagers are expected to be self sufficient and ready to move out by 18 at the latest

None. Although at that age, when I was at college, my Mother bought my winter coat and a pair of winter shoes/boots for me.