Who should be around for kids

[pescatarianpom]

I moved in with my partner almost 2 years ago. We both have two children each. I work part time and have just started up a new dog walking business, which he has been very supportive of. He works full time. His children are aged 13 and 11. My youngest is 12 and I am happy for her to let herself in when she gets home from school. He has 50/50 custody with his ex so his kids are only here every other week. He does not want them in the house alone as they argue/fight.
It has now come to the point where my business is growing and I feel like I have wasted my time and energy building it because I can’t fit any more clients in after my ‘day job’ and be back in time for when his kids get home from school.
We split all our outgoings equally (I have a property I let out so have that as an income too) but he is the main bread winner and so it falls to me to be here for the kids.
We are a family and I’m more than happy to do my bit. But contributing exactly half of everything, on a part time wage, because I’m the one who has got to be around for his kids doesn’t seem that fair.
I also feel a bit resentful that it’s taken me 43 years to find a job that I actually enjoy, rather than that fits in around kids, and I’m still being held back!
I can’t do it all - work, run a business, be mum, house keeper and equal earning partner.
I’m also drowning in debt (which he has kindly lent me so no interest) but with no means to earn more to start paying it off I am feeling very stressed about it.
Would love your opinions please

He's taking the absolute piss in so many ways! Please don't put up with this any longer

This sort of situation makes me so annoyed.

He's winning hands down isn't he - splitting costs 50/50 with you, and you're doing his childcare! So actually you're paying more into the family coffers than he is. On a conservative estimate at £10 per hour for 2 hours 5 days a week, you could be loosing somewhere in the region of £100 per week, ie £400 per month. That's how much more you are 'paying'. Also he has 2 children, do they have a bedroom each ? Was this factored into your agreement re finances?

And what happens during holidays - do you have to stay in all day to prevent the fighting ?

Stop with the 'childcare' and tell him you'll be paying in to the pot, in proportion to your respective incomes.

I'll be honest with you pesc - this relationship is not working for you as much as you seem to think

^^ This.

You need to prioritise your financial stability, not his.

Tell him you now work longer hours just like him and he will need to come up with some other arrangement for his kids.

Or move on. That he would even suggest it was your responsibility rather than his is a huge red flag. He does not have your best interests at heart.

Edited to add: What did he do about childcare before you came along?

These threads make me so cross. Why on earth are you putting up with this? And how has he managed to convince you he's the breadwinner when you are contributing a hell of a lot more than he is? He gives 50% of expenses. You cover 50% of expenses plus a whole lot of childcare costs.