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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Pressure to buy from fragrance sellers

32 replies

SVDWoodson · 22/04/2024 21:43

Just a little info before we get into this: I have never been able to tolerate perfumes, from a young age, the moment I smell one, within minutes it triggers migraine and I've made my peace with it, so for day to day scent I use body mists instead.

Today, while shopping at Westfield, I encountered a stand in the center selling Ouds, known for their potent scent. As I walked by, the lady at the stand handed me a card. I declined, not wanting the fragrance to linger on me, and explained that fragrances give me terrible headaches, so I don't wear them. Despite my explanation, she continued talking to me, even changing the topic briefly. She was nice, so I engaged in conversation, but she eventually circled back to the fragrance and asked if I was interested in buying a bottle. She mentioned it was 'parfum,' oil-based, suggesting it might not trigger headaches like alcohol-based perfumes. I reiterated that I wouldn't be purchasing a fragrance, but she persisted, even mentioning a special offer of £85.00 for the bottle.

When another customer approached her, I took the opportunity to make a swift exit. I bolted... Honestly, I ran! I don't recall saying goodbye, but oddly enough, I feel guilty about it. In truth, I felt overwhelmed by the pressure, especially after clearly stating my position. While I understand she's likely working on commission and her manager was present, why can't a simple 'no' ever suffice?

OP posts:
Hiddenvoice · 23/04/2024 04:56

I think the no wouldn’t suffice since you’ve stopped and explained so she thought she had an in to try make a sale. She won’t be offended you didn’t say bye, she was being friendly to the convince you to buy something.
We have a similar stall/ pop up shop at my local shopping centre and I usually politely say no and continue walking. They won’t carry on when you do that.

PivotPivotmakingmargaritas · 23/04/2024 05:04

I don’t understand I say no thank you and keep walking I wouldn’t have even taken the card - next time just keep walking and either walk around them or ask them to move it’s not rude if you’ve already said no thank you

Greengumby · 23/04/2024 05:05

I think this is very much a you problem in how you engage them.
Your mistake was stopping and entering into dialogue. The seller doesn’t care about why you don’t want to buy, their job is to persuade you to buy by hard selling.

I walk past, smile and return greeting if one is proffered, and then a curt “no thank you” the second they try to engage me further - never slowing my pace or giving any inclination that I will be giving them my time.

HappyEater · 23/04/2024 05:35

You have to completely ignore these people and walk right past. They’re vultures. Same as the hair curler ones, etc.

AIstolemylunch · 23/04/2024 05:40

Your mistake was stopping to talk. Like the chuggers they are trained to prey of your weaknesses and worries about being impolite. They're mainly youngsters being trained in high pressure sales tactics. I feel sorry for anyone having to do a shit job like that but the decent ones will quickly stop and the others will graduate onto being salespeople. We employ them where I work and they are a different breed of sociopaths. Anyway. Never stop, keep walking, and never, ever, say sorry.

Noyesnoyes · 23/04/2024 05:40

No thanks.... keep walking

Sorted.

Doingmybest12 · 23/04/2024 05:53

I'm a people pleaser but even I have no worries about saying a polite , no thanks as I walk by. No need to explain why or feel guilty afterwards.

Josette77 · 23/04/2024 05:56

Keep walking. Do not engage.
Honestly if you can't wear perfume stopping and talking about it will just waste your time and theirs.

patchworkpal · 23/04/2024 06:25

Despite my explanation, she continued talking to me, even changing the topic briefly. She was nice, so I engaged in conversation, but she eventually circled back to the fragrance and asked if I was interested in buying a bottle.

She might be lovely but she's doing her job not chatting to you for fun.

patchworkpal · 23/04/2024 06:39

why can't a simple 'no' ever suffice? you didn't give a simple no

camelfinger · 23/04/2024 06:41

If someone is trying to sell you something (especially something clearly won’t ever want) don’t stop and don’t make eye contact. If you’re worried about being impolite remember that they are the ones interrupting you, so it’s them being impolite.

seafronty · 23/04/2024 06:46

You felt guilty walking away from someone you don't know and didn't want to talk to anyway. Chalk up another one to "how the heck do some MN users cope in the real world?"

BobbyBiscuits · 23/04/2024 06:51

You engaged with her long enough for her to pitch you. They're trained to turn around any negative or barrier, so 'i can't use it because I'm allergic' becomes 'this one is oil based so won't make you allergic'. No matter what you said she would've pitched regardless. She had another customer approaching her so hopefully she got a sale. Those jobs are crap and she's probably only comission based, which shouldn't even be legal. She's probably under a fake self employment scheme. And her boss is probably a scammer.

LaWench · 23/04/2024 06:53

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZGe9L5ff4/

Embrace your inner Lazlo

fatphalange · 23/04/2024 06:53

Oh dear, you're not expected to stop and talk! There are about 3 of these kiosks where I live and walk past probably 3 or 4 days a week. You either grab the samples and say 'thanks', or say 'no thanks' as you walk by or blank or walk by out of arms' reach. I accept samples more often than not because they usually smell divine and don't trigger my migraines but if they did....I would just avoid.

fieldsofbutterflies · 23/04/2024 06:54

You didn't give a "no", though, you engaged in a full blown conversation.

Just walk past and ignore - you don't even need to say "no" if you don't want.

sanogo · 23/04/2024 06:55

The worst thing you can ever do is to stop walking

I say no thank you as I walk past. If they talk to me I continue walking, if you stop, they've got you

Justleaveitblankthen · 23/04/2024 06:56

I promise you, she won't have given you a second thought. How many rejections do you think she has in an hour? They have balls of steel 😁
Glue your phone to your ear and be having a pretend chat with someone next time.

Perfect28 · 23/04/2024 06:59

Walk on by, don't. Stop.

GreyCarpet · 23/04/2024 06:59

She was nice, so I engaged in conversation, but she eventually circled back to the fragrance and asked if I was interested in buying a bottle

She wasn't being nice. She was drawing you into a conversation to encourage you to buy. It's a sales technique.

Once a rapport has been developed, you're more likely to buy.

Why did you feel the need to explain? I just don't make eye contact and say no thanks as I carry on walking. I'm afraid your feeling presumed and guilty is a problem entirely of your own making!

jannier · 23/04/2024 08:10

Say no and keep walking anyone who stops is fair game to someone who lives on commission

Teddleshon · 23/04/2024 08:12

I have a golden rule to never engage with someone selling something unless I’ve initiated it.

Horsemother · 23/04/2024 08:17

Just put your hand up in a 'stop' signal and keep walking. If they talk to you ignore them. Simple.

WaltzingWaters · 23/04/2024 08:20

You shouldn’t feel pressured to buy. But that’s why they’re there - to talk you into a purchase. Just say no and continue walking from the start. Once you engage with them it’s harder to say no.

Purplecatshopaholic · 23/04/2024 08:23

seafronty · 23/04/2024 06:46

You felt guilty walking away from someone you don't know and didn't want to talk to anyway. Chalk up another one to "how the heck do some MN users cope in the real world?"

Sorry op, but this. Dont engage, keep walking. Done. The sky won’t fall in, really.

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