I grew up in the midlands with my parents and sister. I moved down to London for work after university and it would take me around 1h30m to go and see my parents occasionally at the weekend. I could also catch up with friends who still lived locally and do the odd outing with them. My sister moved up north around 3h away from my parents a few years later.
During covid my parents told me they were going to move up north too. Although I was upset they would be further away, I could understand wanting a new environment. They stressed that they were not going to be near my sister and it wasn't for her benefit. Once their offer was accepted I saw the address was only around 15m away from my sister. They played it down when I confronted them.
Part of me thinks I should make the best of it. My parents live somewhere nice where they are happy and can see my sister very frequently. I can go and see all my family at the same time now. But a greater part of me just feels hurt. They purposefully hid they were moving to be with my sister and it meant I didn't get to process how I felt about it until after it had happened. I take this to mean they didn't care about how I would feel about them moving and they just wanted as little resistance as possible.
Since they moved I have had a daugher who they want to see. They frequently ask me to travel up and see them but I don't really want to go. Partly because they've upset me and partly because it feels like such a long way to travel. I can no longer go and visit them just for a day due to the distance and even going for a weekend feels fraught. I also don't really want my young daughter stuck in a car for 10h or more over a single weekend. We could take a week off and go and visit them but it is difficult to be around my dad in his space for this long. I had tried to gently explain to them before they moved that this would make it more difficult for me but my concerns were shrugged off. I only now go and see them at Christmas whilst they come and see us a few times a year.
My parents will keep asking me, "Why don't you come up for the weekend?" and I'll keep having to repeat "Because you live so far away now" but they don't seem to understand. I could have it out with them properly but it feels like there's nothing to be gained. My parents wont move now and I don't think I'd ever feel good about this even if they did apologise. I'm upset with my sister for suggesting they move. Upset with my dad for planning it and upset with my mum for not telling me what was really happening and standing up for me.
AIBU for not visiting them more often?