Aibu to think it’s weird if the male swimming instructor makes a comment about my daughter swimming very prettily?

[SENMum1985]

AIBU? Is this just okay as off the cuff remark or would other people find this strange?

I’m just wondering if he meant pretty good - and perhaps also neatly - in his mind and then in an mis- mash of thoughts prettily came out . I had similar in an email recently..

I'd take that to mean her strokes are symmetrical and she moves cleanly through the water with little splashing. Good for her.

Normal I'd say.
My DD horse rides very elegantly and neatly. I suppose some might say prettily. I get what he means. It doesn't mean he's saying she is attractive!

Gracefully would have been better.

I would think it's a strange enough expression to be a bit perplexed by it.

It's seriously not that deep, jeez. He said 'prettily' to a girl because that's probably a word she'll find complimentary.

A boy probably wouldn't want to be told how swimming is pretty or elegant.

Let's not take this whole sexism thing so far. Boys and girls are different and that's ok

It's nothing as an isolated incident. "Gracefully" is probably a better word but maybe he is kicking himself and cringing every time he thinks of it. We all say the wrong thing sometimes.
If you're worried, just keep a close eye. You'll soon see if you fears are unfounded or not

Elegant would probably be a better word but my daughter swam competitively and if someone said she had a pretty freestyle stroke Id know what they meant. I can say that confidently as her breast stroke was absolutely butt ugly.
It’s just neat, effortless, elegant. That sort of thing.

swimmings a great sport for girls - I hope your DD is enjoying it

My boys teacher has told them they have beautiful technique or swam beautifully today. They are commenting on the technique the child is displaying.

I've heard 'pretty' used many times in the context of horses (nice gait, neat jumper etc). Maybe a better word could be chosen but I really wouldn't read anything into it.

I’d say beautiful but not pretty - and I’d use beautiful for both boys and girls.

You know, some people are very paranoid and on extra high alert because they themselves were abused.
Sarcasm probably isn't helpful

I coach a different sport and probably wouldn't use the word pretty, but I have commented to both and girls that they're elegant, stylish etc. Some athletes, even young ones, do have a natural flair for their sport and look good when they're doing it. It doesn't always mean that they are actually better than someone who lacks that same style but they are often efficient and effective as they're not wasting energy. I know nothing about swimming but I would imagine that it's one of those sports where someone with a neat and stylish technique is likely to be quicker. I wouldn't read anything negative into the comment though there are probably better words than pretty.

My DS swims competitively. He is not as fast as some others but he has a beautiful technique which is often commented on. I do get the point that pretty is a bit gendered, but I would definitely say beautiful for both sexes.

I would not like this. Language is important. My daughter used to get school reports saying she had a lovely smile. My son would get them at the same age mentioning leadership.

Prettily is not an adjective that should be applied to a sport like swimming. Nope.

Is he Scots? I'm told "pretty" in Scots means "handsome" or "well-formed" and applies to both sexes.

Even if he's not, I'd take it to mean she's swimming with an elegant action. I certainly wouldn't be worried in the slightest.

My grandfather used to say of any sporting action that was well done - from football to snooker - that it was "pretty to watch".

You are over-reacting IMO.

He means no splashing and showing economy of movement and effortless efficiency. It's not a word I would use to describe an athlete's style when coaching, but I would use words like 'graceful' or 'elegant'. In cycling someone like Fabian Cancellara would be described as 'elegant' whereas Chris Froome was 'all knees and elbows'.

I wish more men would swim prettily/ gracefully/ elegantly instead of splashy front crawl and slapping waves across the other lanes of the pool with their forearms.

I would take it as a compliment about a neat, efficient stroke.

Pretty is a poor choice of word, he wouldn't use this for a boy and it's doesn't fit with swimming imo.

She/he has a beautiful stroke/swims effortlessly is better.

So if he was using your DD to demonstrate to the group that had boys and girls he wouldn't say 'look everyone how prettily Arrabella is swimming'.

She needs to have excellent technique. I've never heard of a swimmer described as swimming prettily. I'd find it weird as it doesn't focus on any sort of actionable feedback on her stroke- I wouldnt be sure if it was positive of negative feedback.

Is English his first language? Even if he speaks with next to no accent, he may still sometimes pick the wrong word because he's translating from his thoughts, and the meaning may be slightly different/not a direct translation. My friend is Romanian but speaks English really well (and has almost an American accent which hides her Romanian origins - too many films), but sometimes she picks an odd word to say something because that's the translation from the word she'd have used if back home.

This is what I was going to say. My friend speaks English as a second language and will use prettily where we might say beautifully. So if a swimming teacher said she was swimming beautifully it would sound more usual to our ears but he may believe prettily and beautifully are interchangeable

Yes, This. 'Swimming beautifully' I think sounds fine- as Nd to me obviously complementary.

Yes well I don’t like it. I am in London and I have never heard a boy doing anything being described as ‘prettily’. I wouldn’t complain or anything but I dislike the usage.