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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Grievance - please hold my hand

40 replies

Pumptheflump · 22/04/2024 10:02

I have opened grievance against my boss. He is a bully and has discriminated against me because of a disability, my age (late 40's) and that I'm a mother.

I had my grievance meeting last week with HR, investigating manager and union. I was told that under no circumstances should he be in contact with me or be managing me while this is being investigated. I have woken this morning to work related emails that he has sent to me to my private email address! I feel so shaken and upset that he has done this. I got these emails as I woke up and checked my phone and now I feel like I'm having a panic attack.

He has been bullying, intimidating and humiliating me for the last 6 months since we have worked together and he makes me feel very unsafe.

Do I need to get a grip and get over this or is this natural? I don't feel I can go into work today I'm scared to let my cover manager know what the reason is because I'm not allowed to discuss the grievance.

OP posts:
BMW6 · 22/04/2024 10:04

Contact your Union rep immediately. In a way this is great for you as he's completely shot himself in the foot by doing this.

Hoppinggreen · 22/04/2024 10:06

I agree, this might actually be a good thing.
He has been told not to contact you and he has, it suggests bullying.
Speak to HR immediately

Livinghappy · 22/04/2024 10:07

Who was responsible for the grievance meeting? Usually there is another manager there and HR and I would report this to them.

Just send on.

Ginmonkeyagain · 22/04/2024 10:07

Save the emails and send them to your Union rep. This is harassment.

Also unless he had your permission to use your private email address for work related issues he may have breached GDPR. My work have my private email address but it is held by HR and is only to be used in an emergency.

Blackcats7 · 22/04/2024 10:17

There is a saying
Never interrupt your enemy whilst he is making a mistake
I would contact your union and get advice

KrisAkabusi · 22/04/2024 10:20

You are massively over reacting to this. HE has fucked up, not you. Send the emails to your union rep and whoever is managing you now.

Original poster
Pumptheflump · 22/04/2024 10:22

Thank you everyone I'm just so I'm a tizz about everything I'm not sure what's normal anymore. I have sent the emails to HR, The investigation manager and my union and hopefully they will put a stop to this.

No he shouldn't be using my personal email I have never given permission but there is no GDPR breach with the emails sent. I would have been in work at 10am but he isn't allowed to contact me on my work email address no I have no clue why the thought my personal email was OK.

OP posts:
Ginmonkeyagain · 22/04/2024 10:25

The potential GDPR breach is in the use of your private email address, contact details you have not given permission for him to use. How does he have it?

BodyKeepingScore · 22/04/2024 10:29

He's acted wildly inappropriately and he knows this by virtue of the fact he has sent these to your personal email, likely knowing it would cause you distress. I'd escalate this with HR. It sound like this has been a campaign of behaviours designed to unsettle and upset you

Original poster
Pumptheflump · 22/04/2024 10:34

Blackcats7 · 22/04/2024 10:17

There is a saying
Never interrupt your enemy whilst he is making a mistake
I would contact your union and get advice

Oh I like that it's now in my mental library. Thank you for making me smile 😍

OP posts:
Original poster
Pumptheflump · 22/04/2024 10:36

Ginmonkeyagain · 22/04/2024 10:25

The potential GDPR breach is in the use of your private email address, contact details you have not given permission for him to use. How does he have it?

Oh I see what you mean! He will have access to the emails because he has access to my HR file and all contact details as my manager.

OP posts:
Ginmonkeyagain · 22/04/2024 10:40

Oh. That's bad. Bad for him.

There is literally no reason for him to be using your private contact details to email you about work.

He has fucked up big time.

meatyryvita · 22/04/2024 10:41

I work in HR and had this report been emailed over to me, I would have sat with my head in my hands, rolling my eyes and muttering a good number of swear words! What in the actual F does he think he's doing?

As someone has said above, he's made a mistake and hopefully it bites him HARD.

Livinghappy · 22/04/2024 10:45

Before everyone jumps on about GDPR breach. A business can hold personal details such as email address for a number of defined reasons. It depends on how or why it was asked for - such as when applying for a job, that is a legitimate reason to hold the email address.

It is very odd though that he sent a business email to a personal email address, especially if the intention was to hide his communication. He will have to answer as to why he used your email address...doesn't look great for him.

Brefugee · 22/04/2024 10:50

AFAIK under GDPR he may not use her private email to suddenly send work emails when that has not been the practice before. Especially not when he is explicitly not allowed to contact her.

TBH i think that as soon as the grievance was raised, his access to HR systems should also have been suspended. He took the email address from that to use for a purpose it was not intended for. Where i work? Official warning.

MsVictoria · 22/04/2024 10:51

Blackcats7 · 22/04/2024 10:17

There is a saying
Never interrupt your enemy whilst he is making a mistake
I would contact your union and get advice

Never heard this before, but I'm literally watching my enemy make a mistake right now. I won't interrupt him.

Ginmonkeyagain · 22/04/2024 10:54

Yeah, the fact her work have her private email is not a problem. It is the fact he used it to send work related emails when he did not have permission to use it for that purpose and he had been explictly told not to contact her.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 22/04/2024 10:56

Forward everything to HR and your union rep.

Ignore the emails.

Go to work as normal and follow the instructions of your cover manager.

Sugarcoatedalmonds · 22/04/2024 11:00

Oh this is brilliant for you! I know it must have put you in such a fizz but it's actually really good he has not only contacted you when he was not supposed to but breached GDPR

What an absolute twat.

Hope you are okay lovey. ♥️

Whateveer · 22/04/2024 11:13

I'd actually be over the moon he has done this....he is helping your case massively! 💐

MeMyselfAndMyEye · 22/04/2024 12:14

meatyryvita · 22/04/2024 10:41

I work in HR and had this report been emailed over to me, I would have sat with my head in my hands, rolling my eyes and muttering a good number of swear words! What in the actual F does he think he's doing?

As someone has said above, he's made a mistake and hopefully it bites him HARD.

Yep. I woek in HR and I would have my head in my hands.

As stressful as this is, it supports your case.

Original poster
Pumptheflump · 22/04/2024 12:23

@meatyryvita and @MeMyselfAndMyEye as my newly recruited HR advisors can you give me any idea of what actually happens atvthe end of the grievance process?

OP posts:
MILTOBE · 22/04/2024 12:37

Given he's no longer managing you, what were the emails referring to - jobs you needed to carry out? What was his tone in the emails?

Puzzledandpissedoff · 22/04/2024 12:41

I have sent the emails to HR, The investigation manager and my union and hopefully they will put a stop to this

You've done the right thing, OP - he's clearly out of control and it's the company's job to either get him back in it or get rid

HolidayBurden · 22/04/2024 12:47

I understand your response op, it is an overreaction but it's an understandable, involuntary response. Those that have never been bullied do not understand. I have a family member that as soon as I see a call / text / email gives me the same reaction.
I have to work with them, and it's tiring.

what he has done is monumentally stupid. Let him keep digging the hole.

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