To ask stranger if I can dig up their tree in the garden?

[WaffleDogg20]

My dad had a stroke that left him wheelchair bound and without a voice. when I was 16 which caused my parents to lose their house as they couldn’t afford their mortgage. They were homes in a bungalow. a few months after moving in my mum was diagnosed with cancer, for her 60th birthday all she wanted was this specific cherry tree.

we managed to find one and bought it her and it was then planted in the middle of their garden. It was extremely special to both my parents. Sadly my mum died a few months later but for the last 12 years my dad tenderly looked after this tree and every year he would make us pick the cherries for him. We would find him many times just looking at it in the garden.

my dad died last year and in the rush of having to be out of the council bungalow the Tree was left.

its my biggest regret in life so far and every time I think about it I cry. It’s still in the garden as if drove past a few times.

would I be unreasonable to offer the new tenants a good sum of money to be able to take it? I would love to replant it in my garden as it holds so many memories with my dc.

I don’t know what to do :(

Find the variety and buy a new one! You’re proposing a big project moving a mature tree, you’ll almost certainly kill it. Take a picture to any garden centre and they’ll be able to help identify it.

As others have said I would ask if you could take a cutting and/or buy another tree in memoriam to your parents. Even if they agree to let you transplant the tree which I think is unlikely. I don't think the tree would survive the move

If it helps, OP - I have a rose growing in my garden that is a cutting from a rose in my aunt's garden, that is a cutting from a rose that used to grow in my gran's garden that was a cutting grown from a rose that used to grow in her mum's garden.

2/4 of those roses are almost certainly long gone - but they remain with me via a cutting.

Ask the owners to let you cut a couple of branches. They won't work as 'cuttings' per se, but you could then either graft them yourself (said not to be tricky, but we have never made it work!) or ask a commercial nursery such as Keepers if they will graft them for you. Search 'tree grafting services'.

A tree that size won't be happy AT ALL if you move it.

I'm sorry, but even if the tree was guaranteed to survive the move (which it's not) I think it's really inappropriate to knock on a strangers' door to ask to take their tree - no matter what the backstory.

However I do think you could ask to take a cutting from it or similar.

You can ask but
a mature tree may very well not survive the move and be an extremely 3D pensive endeavour
a lovely big tree in a garden is a huge delight to some so be prepared for a No

Like other MNs I would suggest asking for a few cuttings.

I would get several of my most green-fingered friends on standby, and send a note explaining what the tree means to you and if you could take some cuttings to try to grow a new tree from it - and leave your contact details for if they ever decide to remove the tree, as you'd really like first refusal to take it away or even just to have some of the wood to make a memento out of.

You'd be absolutely gutted if you took the whole tree and it didn't survive transplantation. x

I have the same.
With me it’s rosemary and a sour dough starter. The sour dough starter comes from during the potato famine in Ireland. I no idea how many generations back the rosemary is but it started its day in Guernsey.

They are lovely to have OP.

I feel for you OP and I am sorry for you loss. I agree with PP’s the tree is unlikely to survive the shock of being moved. That’s even if you can get the current occupants of the house to agree. I have a big garden it’s full of plants,shrubs and trees that all mean a lot to me. Many were given to me by friends and relatives that have since passed way. We are likely to have to downsize soon and we will just not have space to accommodate them all. Plus it would ruin the garden for any future owners. It is upsetting but I am trying to plan a new much smaller garden maybe with some cuttings of smaller plants. In your position I would buy a really lovely tree and plant that as a memorial to your parents. I am too old to wait for a tree cutting to grow😂so that probably influences my view.

Turn up.

Look pathetic and ask. In a quivering voice with your bottom lip protruding.

They have a choice of two answers.

If they say no ask for a cutting.

If they say no, return under cover of night.

OP you really need a specialist to move a mature tree, and they can't guarantee it's survival, even if (a very very big IF) the new owners agreed to it.

Ask for cuttings or pips to cultivate, or buy the same variety as a shrub.

This.

I would think it would be nigh on impossible to move an established cherry tree. The roots will be very widespread now and it would damage them to move it. Either ask for a cutting or collect some pips when it has cherries on to plant and grow a new tree from those.

Tbh moving a mature tree may well kill it could you take some cuttings?

I would ask them, but in all honesty I think you’ll find that it’s so well established now that it’s impossible to move without severely damaging it. I really feel for you.

I didn’t know about tree transplant shock but agree with others - it’d be even more heartbreaking if you dug it up and it died. Cuttings, along with a lovely picture of it, would be a much better idea.

Yes, what I would do.

Yes that’s a nice way of looking at it if they say no.

I certainly understand the desire to have the tree and I don’t think it can hurt to ask OP but how will you feel if you do uproot it and it dies ? A part of me wonders if leaving it where it took root and the memories were made isn’t in fact part of letting go and the grieving process.

It would be MUCH WORSE if it died because you moved it

Now it gets to live on where they put it

Buy another the same and plant it in memory

We had a cherry tree in the garden of our old house that was about 8 years old. We removed it to make space and it was a nightmare and we didn't want to keep it. I'd say it would be virtually impossible to move and relocate a tree that mature. The root ball will be huge and will weigh a ton.

How about buying a new tree and planting it in their honour and watch it grow and mature.

Ah OP, can see why this is so sentimental to you and am sure the new owners would let you have cuttings. Let us know how you get on x

Cuttings is a great idea OP. Symbolically you are taking from the old life and moving it on with you by growing it into something new. I’m also sure they’d let you take cuttings and sure they would take and grow, handled properly. You won’t be tearing up a garden, uprooting a special tree and most importantly you won’t run the risk of killing it altogether - which I think would devastate you.

If you aren’t old Greenfingers yourself, enlist help from a local nursery ( or even try the botanic gardens : someone might take pity on you and point you in the right direction) to take the cuttings and get them started .

If it is an actual cherry tree and not an ornamental blossom you could even take some 🍒 to grow from.

I really think this is the way to go OP.

Don’t. It will not transplant, or survive - think how very sad you will be when it dies after you’ve moved it. The new tenant may well say no, and this will distress you too.
Try and reframe your thoughts about it, it’s growing in the place your parents planted it - it’s in its rightful place in the house and garden they filled with love and memories.
Plant something else where you can cherish and enjoy it. I have a tree in my front garden, the same species I once gave my Dad but not the same one. It’s been there over 35 years, and now is well over 30ft tall. It makes me smile everytime I look at it, to me it feels like my Dad is watching over us in a house and garden he never knew, and grandchildren he never met. It’s a great comfort.

How do I go about growing cuttings and what sort of cutting do I need? Thank you, or if were to buy one what sort is it? X

I also think it’s a Stella cherry tree, just google them for sale. Plenty of nurseries sell and deliver. Depending on budget you can buy a small young one for 20 quid up to a older more mature one at 100 odd quid.

i suspect you are not a gardener, apologies I mean that politely, many folks aren’t, and if that is the case it is maybe easier to buy one and plant it in your parents honour than attempt a cutting.