Help DH won't wear speedos but going to France!

[letitgoletitgo6]

Taking DCs to Disney land Paris in May. DH has severe body dysmorphia and getting clothes that he will wear is a nightmare as he genuinely hates the way he looks (there's absolutely nothing wrong with the way he looks but it's not as easy as just telling him that!)

So I've recently found out about the law in France about all men and boys having to wear speedos when swimming. We aren't staying at Disney we are staying at the centre parks so we definitely plan on going swimming. He's point blank refusing to wear them which I do completely understand as he will worry about it every hour until we go. However if he doesn't go then non of us can go in as Dc are small and can't swim without help and I can't help both on my own. Is there a speedo alternative that's a bit more body forgiving that I could suggest to him?

The rule is for municipal pools and unlikely to be enforced at a tourist hotel in Disney.

If its such a big issue why don't you just email the hotel and check their policy?

There should be a law AGAINST wearing budgie smugglers, ffs

My response was primarily a reaction to this:

However if I said they all had to wear speedos on holiday, they would go up the wall, it’s just not the done thing anymore. Christ I’d be mortified if my DH wore trunks / speedos on our holidays. I can’t believe they enforce this. British blokes just wouldn’t comply.

Mortified by the thought trunks / speedos but presumably not about women wearing much skimpier bottoms.

There is a clear double standard.
And being mortified or categorically opposed to speedos speedos definitely isn´t more open minded than being opposed to board shorts (either for current or historical reasons related to hygiene)....

@Auvergne63

It amazes me that people do not understand, as you put it, the concept of when in Rome do as the Romans do.
It is respecting the law/customs of the country you are visiting.

Agreed, it can also be rationalized as being “ their train set.”

Shock horror but the French drive on the right, have a completely different legal code to the UK , generally speaking converse in French not English, use different plugs….etc etc etc…

People can spend all day, maybe a whole holiday grumbling or complaining about the injustice or illogicality (as they see it) of it all but it won’t change a thing.

Ours not to reason why/ faut pas chercher à comprendre. Bizarre country. We're only here for the cheap houses.

Yeah let’s all just shut up. Not what discussion forums are about really but hey …

It's a hygiene thing; the point is not to wear anything in a public pool that could also be worn as outerwear and therefore bring in dust and dirt from outside. Banning all baggy or loose shorts was easier than having to measure and analyse every last bit of various pairs.

In practice it's not really consistently applied everywhere and it doesn't apply to beaches. You could check ahead before you go. Hotel pools aren't always "public".

It's also daft, of course, because there are far greater threats to pool water hygiene than clothes that might have picked up some outside dust (and even those threats should be mitigated if the water is properly maintained). But every country has its quirks.

Yes, but my point is that you make it sound like that while France is insisting on Lycra swimwear and no cover-ups, across the rest of the world everyone is diligently covering up in their rash vests. In reality, you hardly ever see anyone wearing one.

by the thought of trunks / categorically opposed to speedos speedos / etc.

No clue what happened here 😅

I’m afraid lots / most do actually enforce it. They don’t actually need to be Speedo’s though, boxers are fine so long as they are not baggy. My DH wears these in France and they have always been acceptable and shown on the diagrams at the various pools. https://www.decathlon.co.uk/p/long-swimming-trunks-yoko-mala-blue-white//R-p-333275?mc=8788595&c=white_blue&utm_term=8788595-4792567%2C_n-generic-pros_ts-pro_spd-msp_spu-msp_sp-msp_pt-pb_l-en_BAU&gclsrc=aw.ds&utm_medium=cpc&utm_source=google&utm_campaign=gb_t-intbra_ct-shopp_n-generic-pros_ts-pro_f-cv_o-roas_spd-msp_spu-msp_sp-msp_pt-pb_pnl-com_l-en_pp-gads_bm-roa_pr-cpc&network=g&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjwlZixBhCoARIsAIC745D8gzDIZG8ptNE1F4zE_ECPArpGOpiNd1BpwJe84rQDc3nbtZfbjW0aAiDxEALw_wcB

The "Speedos" rule applies in public pools in France (like council-run leisure centres), but privately-owned facilities can choose what rules to apply.

Standard swimming shorts will be fine at Center Parcs or Villages Nature. Don't be worried by the pages and pages of speculation based on experiences at other pools. I've been to Center Parcs in France (including Villages Nature) several times, and worn swimming shorts in the pool. Not tight-fitting lycra shorts, just normal ones you see everywhere in the UK. I was there last month. There's no issue.

Don't take my word for it though. The FAQ on the European Center Parcs website says:
"What to wear at Aqua Mundo?
All types of bathing suits are allowed (shorts, briefs, one-piece or two-piece bathing suits, burkini, etc.) and you do not need to wear a bathing cap. "

Yes, Speedos are always mentioned because they're good in headlines but the rule, where it is applied, isn't that men must wear tiny budgie smugglers, just that they can't be loose like board shorts. Longer, fitted trunks are fine. A lot of swimming schools in Britain have the same rule but for safety reasons to stop them catching on stuff or reduce the chance of them slipping off (or to improve performance if you're very advanced).

When swim shorts became popular in my home country they used to have similar rule about not allowing swim shorts in pools due to hygiene. It took a while and they stopped it. Majority of men wore shorts and majority of them have swimming shorts that are different material as everyday shorts and most people don't wear their swim gear around the city.

For the t-shirt he could get a swimming t-shirt that is obviously different from a reflgular t-shirt. My nephew wears a full-bodied swimsuit a bit like this https://tinyurl.com/ye9a2d2c
It is tight but it is covering.

Sorry not read the whole thread but just wanted to say we have been to center parcs near Disney and your husband will be fine with normal swim shorts.

We used to live in France and our local pool enforced the tight short & swim hat rules very strictly. Even our less than one year old baby with practically no hair had to wear a swim hat! He did look very cute in it!! We didn’t know about the rule when we first went and my DH had to buy some tight shorts out of a vending machine so they would let him swim.

If it's hygiene people are surely also showering before they get in the pool?

It has nothing to do with having to shup up and everything to do with respecting the laws/customs of another country. Us French love a good debate, especially around good food and good wine. Of course, by all means, criticise as long as you abide by what is another country's rules and regulation.
Personally, I find the idea of men coming straight from the streets on a hot day, sweaty, and getting in the swimming positively disgusting. Who knows how long they have wearing those shorts too.

We went to a public swimming pool in Nice a few years back and DH had to go and get some shorter jammers-type trunks (but boxer length) and DS had to get short trunks as well - previously DS had been wearing jammers length and DH board short types.

We did also have to get hats, which we got at the pool.

Yeah, my DS goes to the pool in his swimmers, which can mean he's put them on at breakfast and a jumper over the top, and we swim at 11!

Sorry I dont blame him - I wouldn’t like to be told what swimwear I should wear. It does put me off campsites in France as I know my children would also absolutely not wear them (as they are only used to board shorts). However, ive asked friends before who have been to French campsites and they have said they were more relaxed than they thought.

I see Eurocamp actually has it listed if you can wear board shorts or not on their website.

What’s to stop a woman walking round in her bikini all day then going swimming? That happens lots on holiday, you see people walking round towns with bikinis under clothes/kaftans etc. Ive no problem with that as when you get in the pool, its full of chlorine and everyone has a proper shower after swimming anyway.

You would have to be seriously freaked out by germs to go on holiday and be thinking about how long people have been in swimwear for. Im enjoying the pool and sunshine too much to care.

Everyone is hot, sweaty and covered in suncream abroad and if you dont want to share a pool with them, book a private pool!

Because it is! Same as we have laws about what clothing can be worn where. It's been the rule in France for ages.

Your DH will have to get over this, he can wear longer shorts just not "flappy" ones. My DH wears ones that are very close fitting but with an inside leg of about 15 cms. Could your dh do this? Every man will be wearing tight fitting trunks.

Look, some people are gross. You can't guard against all hygiene risks. If people are determined to foul up the local pool, they will.

But a woman walking around in a bikini with a kaftan over the top before going swimming later is probably going to be swimming at the beach, or possibly at a hotel pool, in which case the budgie smuggler rules wouldn't apply anyway.

It's very unlikely that a woman would go round town wearing a dirty bikini and then go to her local municipal pool for a swim.

On the subject of other countries' swimming pool etiquette, Danish pools are strikingly keen on hygiene. They don't require speedos, but they do have rules mandating THOROUGH washing (showering "without swimwear" is explicitly required) before entering the water.

The children were very struck by the sight of naked locals enthusiastically soaping up arms, legs and every inch of skin - including in one case the soles of a chap's feet. Friends we were on holiday with at Lalandia in Billund tried to get into the pool after a relatively perfunctory shower, and were sent back to wash properly by a lifeguard who noticed they "weren't wet enough"!

Probably not a country for the OP's DH to visit....

I just wanted to offer some kind of emotional support OP - I'm currently reading Hadley Freeman's book about eating disorders, they're so massively misunderstood. (I know you said dysmorphia - which is not quite the same, but to my mind seems closely connected in the way the brain becomes miserably obsessed with something.) I hope you have support too.

I have nothing against cultural regulations asking people to cover up, or remove shoes before going into an area of worship etc. I do object to being required to wear skimpy or no clothing. Wearing extra clothes doesn't make me feel anxious or self conscious, uncomfortable etc, whereas taking clothes off does make me feel uncomfortable.

Yes it's silly and it would be better if we all had enough confidence to just accept our bodies. But some people have mental health issues around their bodies that can be deeply ingrained and hard to overcome.

That said, I would just choose not to go to a pool/place enforcing these rules, rather than trying to flout the rules and get in an argument.

There are things in most cultures, including my own, that I don't especially like. I think it's ok to discuss these things on a discussion forum.