Help DH won't wear speedos but going to France!

[letitgoletitgo6]

Taking DCs to Disney land Paris in May. DH has severe body dysmorphia and getting clothes that he will wear is a nightmare as he genuinely hates the way he looks (there's absolutely nothing wrong with the way he looks but it's not as easy as just telling him that!)

So I've recently found out about the law in France about all men and boys having to wear speedos when swimming. We aren't staying at Disney we are staying at the centre parks so we definitely plan on going swimming. He's point blank refusing to wear them which I do completely understand as he will worry about it every hour until we go. However if he doesn't go then non of us can go in as Dc are small and can't swim without help and I can't help both on my own. Is there a speedo alternative that's a bit more body forgiving that I could suggest to him?

“Urban myth”?

You know France is a real place where people actually live, right?

Is it just campsites that enforce this rule? Where else?

Having not been to a French campsite for years I wouldn’t know.

Not according to the Brits .

Having said that, I’ve come across some shockingly rude behaviour towards me in a French tabac in the town where parents have a holiday home. Downright blanking you. Lots of tourists visit there and hopefully post Brexit some of their tourist revenue has disparu. No need to be that rude and I speak fluent French and a bit of the local Charantais dialect too (not easy).

See my post directly above yours.

Again, how do you plan to legislate for that? Some pools do make showering compulsory, but realistically you can’t control everything. Suggesting there’s no point in having any rules because one or two people might not be practicing good hygiene is ridiculous.

Probably been said, but just in case it hasn’t, this law doesn’t apply to hotel pools

I have lived in France although UK born. “Expected to wear bikinis” is an urban myth and quite incorrect. You see lots of sleek one pieces too, plenty of them.

On southern beaches, personally, l tend to go topless, also acceptable and widely practiced when on the beach.

But, unlike many UK seaside resorts, swimwear on the promenade and beyond is not acceptable. In short, what happens on the beach stays on the beach.

We've just come back from the same centre parcs and can confirm that men definitely are not required to wear speedos.

Yes, that’s very true.

I’ve been in a beachfront bar/cafe and was told to change into clothes (just a shorts style playsuit is fine) by a friend of mine (French) before we went in, as she said “it’s polite to do so”. When a lot of beaches have showers on them it doesn’t take two minutes to shower, dry and change.

Well, that sounds fair enough 🙂

I think it's a public pool rule. So municipal pools and also pools which allow public entry.

IME you can tell the campsites which enforce the rule by the swimwear for sale in the campsite shop. If there is a basket full of 1970s style brown & orange nylon trunks then the rule is enforced.

Private pools in hotels, most holiday parks etc will have their own rules which will incorporate 'appropriate' swimwear but will probably be more relaxed.

We stayed on a French campsite last year and whilst they did not insist on Speedos, they did strictly enforce their "no loose trunks/Bermuda shorts" rule. My husband and son both wore tight fitting lycra trunks that were like boxers rather than briefs. My husband wasn't keen when I first told him about the rule but he found these comfortable and not exposing: https://www.decathlon.co.uk/p/men-s-swimming-trunks-yoko-black-yellow-blue//R-p-333239?mc=8788570&c=black_blue&utm_term=8788570-4792352&gclsrc=aw.ds&&utm_medium=cpc&utm_source=google&utm_campaign=gb_t-brand_ct-shopp_n-brand-protection_ts-ret_f-cv_o-reve_spd-msp_spu-msp_sp-msp_pt-all_pnl-com_l-en_pp-gads_bm-roa_pr-cpc&utm_term=_n-brand-protection_ts-ret_spd-msp_spu-msp_sp-msp_pt-all_l-en_brand-protection&keyword=&network=g&placement=&gad_source=1&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI_Yvt3LDVhQMVo4dQBh3g5w_TEAQYAyABEgLmhfD_BwE

I really feel for him (and for you!). It’s horrendous to live with a mindset like this that cannot be changed.

I hope you manage to enjoy the holiday, and maybe it’s better if you just take one in at a time.

I feel for you both too. I suffered from BDD when younger and remember crying my eyes out because I had to go in a swimming pool with my family and felt too fat and disgusting in a swimsuit but I had no choice. It was horrible and my family were annoyed with me and my mum got cross which made it even worse.

I hope some of the shorts on this thread help you both and that he is getting psychiatric and psychological help. BDD can be beaten, it doesn't have to always be this way.

French here living in the UK with a British husband. When in Rome
do as the Romans do, the rule is for hygiene, French people don't want people going straight for the pool from their holiday clothes, also I've been explained it is to avoid hair from down there to end up in the swimming pool. It was a pain for DH who prefers wearing shorts and it is true it is unflattering for men but I find the rule makes sense. It is enforced in public lakes, munivipal swimming pools, and everywhere not too touristy.

This thread is like a lesson in misinformation. Fortunately, I think the OP took the core message: that you don't have to wear speedos at the specific pool she is going to from the several posters who informed her of this. I posted a link to the actual rule from EU Center Parcs yesterday, but here is the key section, for anyone else who was wondering:

What to wear at Aqua Mundo?
All types of bathing suits are allowed (shorts, briefs, one-piece or two-piece bathing suits, burkini, etc.) and you do not need to wear a bathing cap.

Speedo do longer swim shorts ( knee length) still lycra fit but cover more. You can get matching rash vests too. We weren't at centre parcs but eurocamp in France a couple of years ago and there were signs up but they said tight fitting shorts and tops and plenty were wearing them. They had indoor and outdoor pools but swimwear seemed the same in both. He can take a towel in with him and leave it at poolside and only really take it off as he's getting in so then under the water. It's also worth emailing center parcs and asking what's appropriate. Explain its a mental health issue. We've stayed in plenty of similar setting before and have additional needs and always find companies to be really good at communicating and considerate.

BDD suffers aside I am astonished at so many shy British men. A pair of fitted, boxer length swim shorts are not the end of the world. You will be in the pool and no one is looking.

As I said due to rules and cultural norms you will find French men of all ages and sizes wearing speedos with zero fucks given.

You could add chlorine to the pool and require people to shower (in their swim clothes) before getting in the pool. Rinses off any dirt and also kills a lot of bugs. Then people can wear whatever they feel comfortable in.

I prefer wearing a loose fitting top that covers my stomach in the pool, and shorts rather than revealing little swim pants. I don't care if people think I'm a prude.

Forcing people to wear revealing clothes in the name of hygiene is just silly, not to mention the potential skin cancer risks.

Yes but @SquirrelMadness what you prefer doing or whether you think the rule is silly (I don't think it is) is irrelevant, if you're in a country that enforces this rule, you just have to go along with it, it's called being a good tourist. Of course if you're in a place that doesn't enforce it, then all the better for you and fair game, you can wear what you want.
It's a bit easy to say French people have stupid rules and that they don't care about skin cancer (seriously?).

Forcing people to wear revealing clothes in the name of hygiene is just silly, not to mention the potential skin cancer risks.

🙄🙄🙄
Speedos never gave anyone skin cancer.

French here too! It amazes me that people do not understand, as you put it, the concept of when in Rome do as the Romans do.
It is respecting the law/customs of the country you are visiting.

I used to live in France. Municipal pool, yes they care a lot (about swimming caps for ppl with long hair, too). Campsite/hotel, they don't care. You'll be fine xx

It's not even a little bit true that women are expected to wear bikinis in France.

I have no idea why people think this.

Of course not, I never suggested they did! But not covering up, e.g by wearing a rashie - that can increase the risk of skin cancer.