Are people getting ruder and unfriendlier or am I just getting old and grumpy?

[Applescruffle]

AIBU to think people see not as nice as they used to be?

I never thought I'd be one of those miserable old "noone has any manners any more" people buy I am seeing it now.

For example, my son is 10 and my daughter is 6. When my son started in reception, everyone was friendly and chatty and I made new friends with the other school mums. I was hoping the same would happen when my daughter started too. She's now in Y1 and I've given up trying to get a "Hello" or even eye contact out of anyone.

I've also noticed that noone seems to care about the people around them any more. My neighbours across the road bring their dog out the front and stand there letting it bark every single morning at 6:10am, including Sundays.
People will rush in front of you in supermarkets or busstops, talk constantly in cinemas, take over restaurants with their loud conversations, play their music in public, park on pavements. Just my daily list of irritations.

What say you? Have you noticed a difference since covid? Do people care less about others?

I'm still in shock from reading the thread about music speakers on a hospital ward.... and the hospital not putting a stop to it!!

People on the outside are vile these days, I actually prefer the prisoners I work with inside!

No your right op!
Rude and entitled people everywhere.

Whaaaat?? marches off to find thread and add my disgust

When I was having my DD, the woman in the bay opposite had loud visitors constantly and she swore constantly. It was just the overwhelming presence like she was thr only person in the world.

At one point i got bored of timing contractions and counted her swears. She swore 23 times in 4 minutes.

YANBU
People are definitely getting ruder. Rarely I hear please or thank you.

We say this every day. We are making an effort to say thank you when people in customer service are friendly.

My husband and I were talking about this today 🙁

I wonder if it started with the pandemic and then the cost of living has added to people's anger and selfish behaviour.

We have noticed driving (more aggressive), dogs being walked around shopping outlets (why?), people pushing ahead in queues, generally grabby behaviour.

We thought we are getting old (early 50s) but maybe not!

I think it is the case, exacerbated in part by companies who used Covid as an excuse to make customer service worse. There were always those who provided bad customer service (BT, main post offices for example [not sub-postmasters I emphasise]) but many companies have joined this list (banks for example).

Customer service is shite these days. Staff look at you like you dropped from another planet if you ask them something. I was trying to buy my wedding ring a few years ago and the woman in H. Samuel's, shrugged at all my questions and looked at me like I was a freak for speaking to her.
I walked out and went to a small independent jewellers who were lovely

Yes it's something I'm finding quite difficult when out and about. I seem to have developed tinnitus with perimenopause, and ambient noise seems to have ramped up so much since covid.

It's probably partly me, but the noise in restaurants seems so much worse. It's not just the selfish people playing things through speakers on phones/tablets, it's all noise. I think restaurants have crammed more tables in to help with rising costs,. combined with a trend for no soft furnishings in restaurants they are now horrible echoey places.

Every cutlery scrape, every chair squeak means people have to talk louder setting off a chain reaction of raised voices. Add in restaurants that play music loudly and it's complete sensory overload. I have walked out of two chain restaurants recently before ordering because it's too much.

I'm finding that old fashioned pubs are my preferred place to eat now, especially ones with aging soft furnishings mostly occupied by aging grumps like me.

I was watching something recently about East Asian culture and while it’s got its flaws, their culture of politeness and respect was quite appealing. A few years ago I probably would have thought it old fashioned but I found myself thinking it wouldn’t go amiss here.

My DH works on public transport and has endless tales of rude entitled people. I do think it’s getting worse.

I'm 37 and I'm noticing it!

I think the biggest difference for me was the lack of friendliness at the school gates. Loads of lovely chats and friendships in 2017 with DS. Could barely get anyone to say good morning in 2022 with DD. It really shocked me.

I haven't found this at all - people smile and say please, thank you and excuse me, make way on staircases and hold doors open, and service staff are lovely almost all the time (when returning things to shops, or looking for items in the supermarket and so on). People on public transport are pleasant and helpful; maybe I just look a bit pathetic 🤣

I live in Central London though, so my frame of reference is fairly narrow.

Customer service is hit and miss I must admit
Sometimes it's fine , but other times they clearly don't want to help you at all , which then may cause the rudeness by the customers and leads to the vicious circle effect.
I still say thank you even if it's not been wonderful help or service ., maybe I'm the mug !

Yes, like the post on here a few days ago where a mumsnetter seemed proud that she had just replied “no” to a gentleman who approached her at a bus stop saying “excuse me”.

Well, that's the thing to do when you get bad service. Vote with your feet.
I tend to use independent stores and cafes for that reason. I just can't ignore rudeness from people whose job it is to be polite to customers. That is literally what they are paid for. Ffs.

I have this thought all the time! And I do wonder if it's my age but not sure it is. The basics of good manners have definitely gone out the window. I feel like I constantly have to point out examples of bad manners to my kids so they don't think that's an acceptable way to speak to people or behave.

Looking at my post again, I suspect that's why I'm not finding that much of it; I'm lucky to have lots of options here (many of whom are in competition with each other too, so it pays to be nice).

I have also never had cause to set foot near a school gate, and I can imagine they're often not pleasant places.

The sad thing is, they were. It was really pleasant the first time. I used to quite enjoy the school run.

Now it's not particularly unpleasant. Its just nothing. Not even a smile or a good morning or anything. I've tried saying good morning but I can't even get the eye contact.

I haven't noticed it especially, no. I think that the lockdown was to blame for a lot of ill feeling, though. It should never have been allowed to go on for as long as it did, we were locked down for getting on for two years. Ludicrous and I would be more surprised if there were no effects from that.

For me it’s less about customer service in shops but more a sense that we are a very crowded nation competing for the same things - school places, drs appointments, attractions or even hiking in a national park (see Yr Wyddfa videos for mad queues on a bank holiday)
You go anywhere and there’s often queues for car parks, queues to pay in the shops. You often can’t just turn up ant a restaurant these days, it has to be booked weeks in advance so everything has to be planned ahead which takes the joy out of a spontaneous decision to do things. Everything feels expensive and a bit exploitative.

I think people are finding it harder to be nicer and polite when going anywhere or doing anything feels like a hassle. Many parts of the U.K are starting to look run down and shabby, with lots of litter about and I think that’s making people care less about society in general.

I totally agree about how shabby everything looks. I was walking along Sauchiehall Street in Glasgow the other day and was appalled by the state of it.

@SocksAndTheCity yes i agree with you - Central London is very competitive and the service tends to be a bit better as a result. They at least try!

In the ‘burbs is a whole different drama - people can be SO rude. As someone said above, I have to “coach” my children - thats not what we do, thats not how we speak to people etc etc. Exhausting. And depressing.

I think there's been a very welcome trend towards understanding your needs are as valid as anyone else's. Shop staff have the right not to be abused, staff have the right not to be bullied, and so on. But as happens with any shift like this, it takes a while to settle, and meanwhile there are people who take it to mean "my needs are more important than anyone else's" "why should I say please and thank-you when you're just doing your job", "why shouldn't I play my choice of music as loud as I want, if you don't like it, get some ear plugs" "why should your desire to walk in the countryside and listen to the birdsong interfere with my desire to race across the hills on my cross-country motorbike?"

I've just been for a walk, everyone said morning, people with dogs put them back on leads/called them out the way, cyclists said thanks when we moved to one side - north east, where we are known to be friendly though!

I haven’t noticed it.

I’m so greatful for living in a country that pretty much continued everything like normal during covid! No lockdown, schools were open and I worked.. Media abroad pointed finger at us, but in the end it turned out pretty well.