Are people getting ruder and unfriendlier or am I just getting old and grumpy?

[Applescruffle]

AIBU to think people see not as nice as they used to be?

I never thought I'd be one of those miserable old "noone has any manners any more" people buy I am seeing it now.

For example, my son is 10 and my daughter is 6. When my son started in reception, everyone was friendly and chatty and I made new friends with the other school mums. I was hoping the same would happen when my daughter started too. She's now in Y1 and I've given up trying to get a "Hello" or even eye contact out of anyone.

I've also noticed that noone seems to care about the people around them any more. My neighbours across the road bring their dog out the front and stand there letting it bark every single morning at 6:10am, including Sundays.
People will rush in front of you in supermarkets or busstops, talk constantly in cinemas, take over restaurants with their loud conversations, play their music in public, park on pavements. Just my daily list of irritations.

What say you? Have you noticed a difference since covid? Do people care less about others?

When my son started in reception, everyone was friendly and chatty and I made new friends with the other school mums. I was hoping the same would happen when my daughter started too. She's now in Y1 and I've given up trying to get a "Hello" or even eye contact out of anyone.

Those mums don’t owe you friendliness and chattiness though. Calling them rude for not wanting to entertain you is pretty sexist.

And no, people aren’t ruder, they’re the same as they’ve always been. Some are rude, some are friendly, some just want to go about their day without wanting to chat small talk with you. For some people talking to strangers is excruciating, have some sympathy.

What an odd thing to brag about, it was years ago. What happened in your mystery country is irrelevant to a lot of us, most of us are in the UK and Ireland.

People are so entitled these days. It's so me me me and stuff everyone else!

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5059114-since-when-did-playing-music-through-speakers-be-ok-on-a-hospital-ward?page=1

My hospital speakers thread

That's not friendliness though, that's politeness and basic courtesy. What the North East call 'friendliness' is mostly what made me move to London.

Some of us like and are interested in hearing from people in other countries. How incredibly rude to dismiss them as 'irrelevant'.

Agree..i was just saying what OP has said yesterday. Me me me attitudes especially since pandemic ive noticed..people queue pushing with no concern, walking straight for you so you have to move, not giving disabled seats to elderly or disabled, i could go on..i hate it

Completely agree. Myself and my husband were talking about this yesterday, no one seems to open doors for each other or hand in a wallet they find etc it's all the 'I'm alright Jack' mentality

Oh the irony. You sound exactly like the people OP is describing.

Exactly all these!!!! Grabby me me me first behaviour l. I hate it!

Generally we've been very lucky where we live - another city centre (not London). I'm usually out with either a baby or a dog and people couldn't be friendlier, often stopping to compliment one or the other (both baby and dog very good at getting attention!). The local baby and toddler groups are very friendly and everyone is chatty. Like a pp, we have lots of choice with cafes, restaurants and shops, so we've not really noticed any bad customer service. Doors tend to be held open, people move out of the way for the pram, bus drivers are thanked etc.

However, we've definitely noticed a very steep increase in very bad and often downright dangerous driving and lots of phone use at the wheel. Also lots of illegal parking blocking wheelchair access, usually by tradespeople or delivery drivers who become quickly quite hostile when this is pointed out as they're "just trying to make a living." People seem generally busy and stressed and subsequently less aware of their surroundings. When I was using public transport when pregnant, it wasn't uncommon for someone to shove past me with headphones in / hood up (but then be very apologetic if they did notice me).

Tolerance is low, and people think it's okay to be rude. A thank you and a bit of empthy and understanding would go a long way.

It's not you.

I work in a GP surgery and the entitlement, rudeness and demanding can be breathtaking. The other day a young, can't say lady, parked her car in the surgery car park to use it for free parking whilst she went off shopping or the gym in the city centre It's not the first time she's done it and it's been left for hours. I challenged her when she got back and she jumped in her car and gave me the finger and was mouthing la, la, la when I was telling her not to park there again. The absolute cheek of it. Unfortunately we don't have parking wardens but the parking problem is being discussed and I hope that if we do use a company, madam in her haste to bugger off doesn't see the signs and she gets fined.

Another person, also not a patient when told he can't park in the car park whilst he goes to the his place of worship called my colleague racist!

Definitely ruder but then people are a lot more appreciative of people who are friendly/ welcoming too, I make sure to say hi to people, I let people out when I’m driving, and then see them pay that forward and let other people out, I say please and thank you and compliment on good customer service and people are lovely back. I don’t think it’s just lockdown, although it really helped, I think we’re living in a more insular and introverted society (I’m blaming screens just from my kids😅) and people are feeling stuff more due to cost of living etc

Yes possibly. I most of the time am polite and courteous to but I hate to admit I've caught myself being a bit short with others in day to day life. Often because I've had a testing day. It's not an excuse but you can just never be sure what's going on with a person from brief interactions.

Why is it sexist to expect people to acknowledge your existence? The poster isn’t asking to be entertained but a response to Hello or eye contact. We are social animals. I appreciate some people may find such interaction overwhelming but for the majority of people it’s not a huge expectation. It is a sad world if you expect everyone to go around without any interaction from those around them.

Troy's mammy
I'm surprised that your GP surgery hasn't tackled this illegal parking problem as obviously people are taking advantage and it sounds as if they are not paying any parking fees either ?
Our surgery has a small area for GPs and staff that only has one way in and out , but the council put those collapsible barriers at one end which ( I assume) the ones working there have key fobs for to get them up and down ( or some kind of way of getting them down )
That works really well, but it is in a side road area behind the shops and easy for them to do without disrupting any other parking areas. Before this they might have had the same problem with people parking for free.
It must be a nightmare for you and I know I wouldn't dream of doing anything like this for fear of being towed away or huge fines.
I got a fine for my parking ticket being upside down once in the windscreen ( but perfectly legal and readable ) I had to fight for the fine to be redacted. Which they did ( reluctantly)
( gust of wind has turned it around before I shut the door and I didn't notice!)

@the80sweregreat it's a car park for staff and patients and she was parked on the staff side the other day but the little madam isn't fussy where she parks and she is not alone either. Management are too afraid that a genuine patient could get a ticket but discussions are ongoing for bespoke services. Fingers crossed.

That’s so true for me what the OP has said about the difference in parents of her children’s classmates. I have similar age children, and I’ve made friends with several parents from my eldest child’s class, but only one from my youngest - and this is a person who also has a child the same age as my eldest, so different circumstances.

The vast majority of the parents from my youngest’s class are so rude, arrogant and ignorant. There are a particular bunch who are really loud, vulgar and disrespectful - and sadly their children are following in their footsteps.

There is a WhatsApp group for each class - the one for my eldest child’s class is hardly used, and when it is, it’s because someone has genuinely forgotten something important, or because they want to share an important school message with us. The messages are kept to a minimum - one person will give a definitive answer or response and that will be that, and the messages are sent at appropriate times (weekday mornings before the school run, or in the evenings from around 5-8pm. We’ve never agreed on any rules, but are just respectful.

The other WhatsApp group on the other hand…atrocious! People message all hours of the day and night, at weekends and holidays too. People openly slate the school and staff, and there’s a general hostile view from many of authority figures and the education system. The messages are often continuous, and just become like a general chit chat - often between the 5 main ‘culprits.’ There have been disagreements and allegations made. Hardly any of them seem to be able to read or retain any information relating to school, or perish the thought, write down important information relating to the children’s education! Constant messages asking ‘is it P.E today?,’ ‘when does swimming start?,’ and ‘what time’s pick up from after school club?’ Drives me insane!

There have been a few of the decent adults who have formed our own group away from them.

Ahh, sounds a bit more complex if the patients can use the GP car park.
Might have to come up with a ticket option or some other way of showing your there for the GP only and not just a wander round the shops or whatever. Maybe put their registration in a machine as some pubs do?

But I'm not saying they owe me friendliness or must chat to me. I'm making an observation at the stark contrast between 2017 and 2022. Something has shifted and its strange and surprising.

Customer service is hard

All I hear on here and elsewhere is how shit customer service is which makes you feel more shit when you try your best

Then customers say how shit the service is which translates to "you couldn't give me the thing I wanted which is the moon on a stick"

Then they want a manager who tells them the exact same thing and they're lovely to the manager even though they've just shouted at you for the same thing and threatened to put a complaint in and demanded your name

Pay is low and people are struggling financially

Is it any wonder staff are grumpy?

Yes, definitely ruder and very snappy. But I think life has been incredibly tough for a lot of people the last few years, with COVID and cost of living having a detrimental impact for so many people. And a lot of jobs seem more 24/7 and demanding now due to digital innovation. So folks are knackered, stressed and more on edge I think.

Not saying work and money hasn't always brought stress to people's lives, but these events over the last five years or so have been quite transformative.

My personal theory is people are very individualistic, every 'knows' their rights but with these come responsibilities.

The pandemic resulted in people not having to socialise and it feels like people have forgotten basic courtesy and manners. This, coupled with the price of things going up everyone feels like the enemy.

Resources are scarce (GP appointments for example) and the news is generally bad (wars, climate change.....) it is a drip, drip, drip of negativity and worry.

People are 'acting out' how they feel ☹️

Makes the UK and society a sadder place to be. 😢

Driving is aggressive and confrontational. Delivery drivers care nothing for other road users because they’re on a tight schedule, their vans probably don’t belong to them, so they’re not so fussed if they’re scraped. The number of times I’ve had huge Lorrie’s pull out in front of me, ignore roundabout rules or general rules of the road, is alarming.

In a supermarket, it’s possible to park your trolley where it causes least interference, but instead, they’re stuck in front of the shelves, so you can’t get to them.

i just think people are generally much less thoughtful and considerate of others and I do think that covid exacerbated that.