Putting my little boy "under the knife" - Am I vain? or Am I protecting him from bullying?

[Cucci]

DS1 was born with a sebaceous nevus on his head which basically looks like a bald patch right on the crown and is the size of a 2 pound coin. There will never be any hair there and his hair has grown around it instead of over it. (It looks like alopecia)

He is 3 in June and every now and again he asks "whats that mummy?". Anyone who meets him for the first time is always compelled to ask me what it is. I suppose its starting to become an issue of sorts.

I went to see a Consultant who has said that it could be reduced by 80% with a small Op, but this would involve General anaesthetic. The downside is that the Operation is better the younger he is because the elasticity of the skin makes the Op more successful. So he will have this Op before he is 5.

The only reason for getting this done is vanity - there is no medial reason but I am worried that he will be picked on because of it and kids can be so cruel. If I leave it and just think that its part of him he could them blame me for not sorting it out when he's older.

I know its my decision but I would welcome any thoughts - thank you.

I think the problem here is that it is not easily hidden. I think he will thank you in the long run.

I wouldn't worry much about a General anaesthetic, unless your ds has breathing/heart problems.

Today there are very few risks associated with a GA, they are very good at calculating exactly the right dose, so kids come out of GA pretty quickly, and the technology to monitor a patient under GA is incredible. Also, from what you say, his op would be quite short (ask the consultant), and so he wouldn't need much anaesthesia.

I would have the op done. I know the cosmetic effects seem quite little to many of us here, but to the person actually affected such things can become hugely important. My ds (8) has scars on his hands, because of webbed skin between fingers when he was a baby, and loads of kids pick up on it and make comments, often quite unkind.

And hair becomes soooo important to teenagers 'on the pull'.

My DD had a problem and I am sure a lot of people thought we had it treated to stop bullying at school. We didn't. It was to stop future medical problems and we have no regrets.

I think you sound very caring and sensible and I think that you'll help to ease your DS's passage through childhood

I would probably get it done.But would talk to him first about how he feels about it and maybe wait awhile and see if it affects him.I think it would probably become more of a problem as he gets older.

Hi my DD, 9, had to have GA in the summer. I was nervous initially, but absolutely astounded by the care they took over her and her Dad was against but decided benefits of CT scan outweighed risks ... I'm sure adults don't get that sort of care, everyone was fantastic and understood parent's nervousness. I reckon if consultant says s/he would do it on their own child that is a good thing. And early it's done better outcome? And less stress for him?

Very old thread.

This thread is years old

I would. Not because of other kids teasing but so he doesn't face a lifetime of explaining it.

I knew a girl with sebaceous nevus when we were teenagers. She was lovely but always looked a trifle odd as it looked a bit like an egg peeking out from her hair as it was right on her crown.

She got it sorted when she was about 15.Won't have any pictures of her younger self around the house etc because she got teased mercilessly for it.

As much as it doesn't change who he is it will make life easier for him on the whole by going ahead with the surgery

Argh stop resurrecting threads FS!!! The child is now 7!!!

April 2008. WTF?
How does that happen?
And did she ever go through with the operation?

I wouldn't. You can't protect from bullying - nasty people will always find something to latch on to.

Would it be less noticeable with a longish hairstyle?