To be interested in how you would deal with this

[thatismenow]

Three year old on a domestic flight won’t stop kicking the chair in front. Obvious threats and bribery have been ineffective … what would you actually do?

Who am I? The parent/guardian?

Yes sorry didn’t mean to be unclear

Take shoes off?

I was responsible for the 3 year old, they would be sitting on my lap with their legs in the spare seat I had just taken them from.

Hold their legs to start with

Move them onto my lap in a position where they physically couldn't do it.

This is what I would do

This and a firm warning to stop it.

This used to work on my three year old, so I'm not suggesting this for every child, but I'd give a patient and detailed explanation of how it was hurting the other person's feelings and try to get them on board with the idea of having empathy for their situation.

I might also try knocking the kid's chair so they could see how annoying it was. I'd also be tempted to try getting them up and walking for a bit to get some restless energy out.

If it was absolutely necessary, I'd physically restrain the child but I'd try the above first.

Awkward, because it's not a place you can let a full-on tantrum take it's course.

Remove shoes, swap seats, sit child on my lap. Even, as a last result, quietly ask the flight attendants to "have a word". Sometimes some children respond to requests from adults other than their parents.

I personally would also pick child up and stand them by the person in front and strongly suggest child might want to apologise to person for keep kicking his/her seat.

But I wouldn't remove the screen or whatever stuff had been brought to entertain them. That would be counterproductive.

As a parent?

Both of my kids were fairly obedient- and would definitely have stopped once I started counting to three. I have no idea what happened at three, I never got past 1 and a half 😂

I think you have to look at why they’re kicking though - bored? A way of getting adult attention? Uncomfortable? I suspect a happy child, engaged in an activity with an adult, wouldn’t be kicking.

Agree I'd try to do as much as possible to physically stop them doing it.

I might also tap the person in front on the shoulder and say 'hey, u know they're kicking your chair, I'm really sorry and I'm trying everything in my power to stop them'

Yes also agree with pp, I'd try to figure out why they were kicking, likely bored/attention and try to remedy that.

I'd ask the air steward to come and have a word with them, a 3 year old may listen to someone other than a parent!

Shoes off, on my lap. Eyebrow of Doom.

My neice aged 3 had a full-on tantrum
on a 4 hr flight to Denmark.

Her parents were cringeing but tried everything so luckily the other deafened, exhausted passengers were ok about it.

Sort of. 😃

I really don't know if you're being serious or having a pop at performance parenting but I hope I'm not sitting in front of you unless you're moving the child to the back of the plane to have your feedback session

Apologise to the poor sod having their chair kicked and physically restrain their legs. If all else failed, I’d take them to stand at the end of the aisle (assuming it wasn’t blocking anything etc).

Shoes off, hold legs or swivel them to sit sideways or cross legged and entertain. My 8 year old niece can very comfortably sit cross legged on a flight.
I'd rather restrain their legs the entire fight that deal with the embarrassment and guilt of my kid causing the people in front discomfort.

This used to work on my three year old, so I'm not suggesting this for every child, but I'd give a patient and detailed explanation of how it was hurting the other person's feelings and try to get them on board with the idea of having empathy for their situation.

My experience of 3yr olds has taught me that they’re mostly not big on empathy and understanding and that a long, patient explanation of the above would be tedious and unproductive. For everyone.

I'm being serious. This genuinely used to work on my child.

Like a PP said up thread, I used to do counting to five and I never actually managed to get to five. I don't have any idea what I would have done either. My child was just quite obedient and quick to have empathy for others.

I have genuinely prevented many tantrums by calmly explaining what the impact would be on others. I'm aware that it wouldn't work on some children, but the question was what would I do. And that's what I would do because that's what worked for me.

I’m getting the sense that you looked on helplessly and did nothing when the threats and bribery didn’t work and you’re annoyed with the poor people in front for not being more understanding.

I hope I’m wrong.

I doubt others could hear what I was saying. I used to get down to my child's level and explain things quietly.

For example, child once wanted to throw Tic Tacs all over the floor in Boots. I crouched down and explained that if he did that, this poor lady over there would have to clean them up, which would be a nuisance for her. Child saw the logic and put the Tic Tacs back.

I could have just yelled that it was a bad idea and dragged him out of the shop, for the sake of pleasing you, but logic and encouraging empathy worked on my child. So yelling and restraining was never my first course of action.

If the child is my 3 year old then I'd do whatever it takes to stop them.

Id turn them and tell them to stop (my 2 wouldve stopped in their tracks at that point)

Anyway, surely the person in front turned round and said to the child "you need to stop kicking my chair now" with a cross look on their face?

Mine'd have been told THEY'D personally have to have cleaned them up. Not the shop lady.

Are you the person being kicked? But yes, like PP, he'd get one warning and then be on my lap. If the flight allowed, I'd also offer to buy a drink/coffee for the poor person in front.