To be interested in how you would deal with this

[thatismenow]

Three year old on a domestic flight won’t stop kicking the chair in front. Obvious threats and bribery have been ineffective … what would you actually do?

I doubt a three year old would be allowed to clean a shop floor, nor was capable of doing an effective job.

So I don't see the value in making up punishments that are unlikely to happen. It's crucial to this style of parenting that you give truthful explanations of the consequences.

@CompletelyDifferentGoldSpangles we have a different parenting style. If I told my 3 year old they'd be cleaning the shop floor, they'd be doing it.

You'd have to ask Boots if they let toddlers work in the shop at your behest. I suspect the answer would be no.

The trouble is , with gentle parenting being the norm, you'd have your arse handed to you on a plate.

Oh come on. You know they meant that the toddler would be picking up the sweets, not that they would be mopping the floor.

Don't pretend you don't understand.

They're not working in the shop though, they're cleaning up the shit they threw on the floor, when they'd been told not to.

And I suspect that the lady in boots would be more than ok with a child picking up stuff they'd thrown.

I doubt they'd be impressed with you wafting about saying they'll have to pick it up cos they work there.

Tic Tacs would have gone literally everywhere. They'd be under shelves and they'd be a hazard risk. So no, I don't imagine they'd be allowed to clean up, nor that if they did, that the job would be thorough enough not to warrant a proper cleaning.

Luckily, we didn't have to find out because he put them down when I explained it wasn't fair on other people.

I didn't feel the need to chastise him for the impulse. He was right - it WOULD have been fun to throw them. It's the kind of thing toddlers want to do, but they don't have the capacity to understand the consequences. I explained them and he stopped. Nothing to get my knickers in a twist about.

Where did the argument about Boots come from?

@exomoon my children have never flown actually. It was a friend of mine who was mortified but in a really difficult situation because their child did what I explained in my OP (and I know she’s no pushover) but I guess I just wondered what you’d do as anPP said a lot of stuff is likely to be counterproductive.

Still, you got to have a go at an OP. Next thread?

I don't 'waft about' thank you very much. The staff are responsible for cleaning the shop, regardless of your or my personal opinions about it.

I'm sorry you find my parenting style so offensive but it works on a sensitive and empathetic little child.

Besides, it was many years ago now so I can't go back in time and change it now. Not that I would want to. It worked absolutely fine.

Instead of getting offended at a guess because you have provided very little info, why not just explain what your friend actually did to stop her dc kicking someone?

For example, child once wanted to throw Tic Tacs all over the floor in Boots. I crouched down and explained that if he did that, this poor lady over there would have to clean them up, which would be a nuisance for her. Child saw the logic and put the Tic Tacs back.

How bloody entitled! You mean you and DC would have to clean them up surely?

There's nothing to come off. I worked in an industry where it was my job to use conflict resolution to deal with angry and irrational people. I used the same techniques on my child and they were effective.

If people want to get mad about that, go ahead. I have zero regrets.

No one had to clean anything up because the child put them down.

This is just pointless nitpicking.

-Tell child firmly to stop please
-Explain in detail why
-At the same time tell them what to do instead (something more interesting like a funny drawing or a sticker book hidden away for that purpose) in other words distract them
-If that didn’t work I would walk them to loo and back and repeat the three steps above until it did work using different distraction techniques.

Surprised at the number of people asking the stewards and stewardesses to have a word. Don’t think it’s their job to discipline or look after my child unless I become incapacitated in some way.

This

I'd do similar to @CompletelyDifferentGoldSpangles but maybe shorter version. I'd say: You can't kick that because it's the back of someone's seat. It hurts them and irritates them and that's not fair. If your legs need a wriggle shall we go for a walk up the aisle?

Don't be silly!! Picking up a few sweets is hardly constitutes cleaning a floor!!!

I'd have done the same as @Dacadactyl. Obviously our kids weren't as "sensitive and empathetic"...

My children wouldn't have done this, as I wouldn't have tolerated it.
I'd have tried lots of distraction (toys, sticker books, etc), a walk up the aisle, or holding them in such a way that they couldn't physically do it.
I should add that I wasn't a perfect parent, and my kids weren't the perfect kids! I just think that some things are non-negotiable, especially the inconvenience and discomfort of others.

I seem to have a propensity to have kicking children behind me on flights!! So annoying and I have a bad back. I haven't dared to say anything! There was a little girl behind me on the most recent flight I took. She did it once and was stopped sharpish! I was so grateful!

Same @JMSA !

There are a lot of Tic Tacs in a big tub and they would have gone absolutely everywhere.

I don't think I'm being in the least bit silly. The whole point was that he needed to have empathy for the other people who would have been affected by his actions. I explained that it wasn't fair on other people to throw sweets around and he agreed with me and put them down. Crisis averted.

If that's your definition of silly parenting, then fair enough. You're entitled to your opinion.

I assumed it was a small one.

I don't think 3 year olds are that rational. I've had three. Obviously mine were deficient in some way 🙄

Can you kindly point out where I said your parenting was "silly"?

I'm not disparaging other children. I said in my original post that it may not work on other children. But mine was quite sensible and sensitive to the feelings of others. He was also naturally not very rebellious, which is just his personality.

He wouldn't leave nursery without going around and hugging every single other child goodbye. He was probably a little bit too sensitive and easily hurt so it's not all sunshine and roses.

I had a young girl kicking my chair nearly all the bloody way from Manchester to Orlando and the Parents did absolutely sweet FA!

Mum spent all the time on her phone just ignoring her kids.

It was not a good start to my holiday