To feel like I can’t go on with this financial pressure as a single parent

[habal10]

I am beyond stressed and have been awake most nights this last week worrying about money. I earn 3,600 after tax. My mortgage is 800 for a two bed and council tax and utilities 400. Nursery is 1600 a month and petrol and car costs 300 a month (including car finance of 180). After my phone bill (20), 120 repayment on interest free credit card and food I have literally no money left at all. I am stressed with work and coping with dc who is 19 months. I feel like I can’t sustain this and just want to give up. I don’t actually know what to do and I look awful as I have no decent clothes, my shoes are 6 quid from the supermarket and make my feet bleed, I can’t afford new ones. Not saying for sympathy just to give an idea of the reality. I feel genuinely sick most days as I just don’t know how I can carry on living like this. I am not entitled to anything as salary and mortgage means I have no access to universal credit, I have checked online and also called in desperation and it was confirmed I have no entitlement to anything. I am so worried

Do you get any help with childcare costs when dc is 2 years? At most it's only another 18 months until you will get help and then things will be easier. You're earning a decent wage once your childcare costs lessen.

Yanbu. It's incredibly tough being a single parent.

What do you do/earn? Many people are on UC who have mortgages and get help with childcare. Granted they don't pay for your mortgage but it doesn't stop you claiming. The childcare element makes a huge difference.

Have you checked the entitled to calculator?

It’s them child care costs that’s crippling you. Imagine having 1600 disposable every month if you didn’t have to pay that. Is there any other options you could look into? Tax free childcare vouchers from work? Help from family on a day or 2 to help keep the costs down?
I’m unsure of if / when you will be eligible for access to 15 hours? Have a mooch into that.
i would honestly be busting a gut trying to sort those childcare costs. If there’s literally no other options, just know that it’s not forever. Soon as baby is in school things will be a lot easier financially. Good luck 🤞🏼

Are you using tax free childcare for your nursery fees,? It's doesn't make a huge difference but every little helps. Have you claimed maintenance from baby's dad? It might not be much( if you can even get any) but again, every little helps. Unfortunately the childcare years are just crap.

100% of your problem is the nursery cost, without that you would be in great shape, so at least it is a temporary problem. Are you claiming anything you can get to mitigate that cost?

The OP quotes her take home pay, from that I'd guess about 60k. It's scary that you can be on that wage and still in this position but it's a sign of the times. Makes you wonder if it's worth trying to hold down a stressful job.

Unfortunately the childcare years are just crap.

This is so true. But I remember I could get the 30 hours when my son turned three, and before that I could use childcare vouchers from work (before the system changed). I feel like there should be something you can get?

I'm a single parent on 40k and it's crippling financially. Never thought I'd earn this much and be struggling so much. I had a better lifestyle when I was renting at 20 years old on a minimum wage carer's job

Have you worked out what you'd be entitled to if you went part time, or even took a career break until the childcare fees have gone? Do you have an option to wfh 1 day a week with your child there? Some employers would be ok about thus if it was the difference between keeping you or you leaving.

Have you looked at a childminder instead of nursery?

Are you claiming single person discount on council tax?

Try calling step change to see if there is anything you can about the credit card.

Are you claiming child maintenance?

Are you getting tax free childcare?

Yanbu it's really stressful to be the sole adult earner in a household. It's very expensive being a single parent.

It’s temporary though, then you’ll have 1.6k a month to play with. That’s serious money OP

Tax free childcare if you're not getting that already, and look into a childminder instead of a nursery. Ours charges £4 an hour vs nearly double that at the local nursery, and she's fab.

Can you just pay the minimum payments + £1 on your credit card for a while, or is £120 the minimum? Look into this and whether a balance transfer could save anything.

Finally, could you wfh more or do condensed hours at work to bring childcare needs down?

It's tough and I feel for you.

How long until you pay off credit card?
Are you using tax free childcare?
Can you reduce mortgage payment short term while you are paying childcare costs.

Will you get some child benefit now that the earnings limit has changed?

It is a really tough time, financially, but it won't be forever. been there xx 💐

Hello OP,
it sounds like you're in that very difficult "squeezed middle" with gross income too high to claim benefits but too low to absorb the incredibly high costs of living these days (especially for parents of young kids). The tax and benefits system in the UK is irrational and needs a complete overhaul IMO but that's for another day.....
Is you DC's father paying Child Maintenance? Or offer practical help with childcare (your greatest cost)?

Could you go interest only on the mortgage temporarily?

Thanks for the suggestions. I’ve enquired about any support and literally not entitled to anything except child benefit. I need to cut food expenses but I feel on my knees with work and dc already and don’t have much time to meal prep. I am pursuing child maintenance, I know he last earned 52k so not sure what that would bring it. It seems a long process

Definitely claim child maintenance. It should be both parents shouldering the financial burden.

Re your mortgage are you tied into a fixed rate? I would look to extend the term if you can, you can always reduce it back down later on.

Your credit card is interest free, if you don't manage to pay that off before the interest free part ends you can look to transfer the balance over to another 0% card. That could reduce your monthly payments down now, it will take you longer to pay that balance off but it is 0%.

Nursery fees are absolutely crippling but in the grand scheme of things aren't forever but still completely shit when you are in the thick of paying it.

See if your employer can pay childcare through salary sacrifice. There are schemes they can join for this. It will essentially reduce the childcare by the tax at your highest marginal rate and i believe your work will reduce their employers NI as well.