Do you still think your adult children are beautiful

[TheLastShanty]

I have little ones who I think are the best looking children I've ever seen 😁 do you still continue to think this as they get older?

Let’s face it, most of our kids are average-looking. When other people give compliments it’s usually because they are being nice and using basic social skills. It’s just small-talk. It’s lovely that we tell our kids they are gorgeous, even though it’s likely they are pretty ordinary.

I never had positive comments from my parents. I always felt ugly. But on the upside, I have always defined myself by my brains rather than my looks. And my brain has aged a bit more slowly, even during the menopause!

I remember when my kids were young, I was on a forum where people posted pics of their ‘stunning’ kids. Most were ordinary and a few were downright odd-looking. One or two were gorgeous. But their parents were all deluded by love. Which is as it should be!

My DS is, objectively, beautiful.

Is there such a thing as objective beauty though?

Eg I find dark hair and dark large brown eyes appealing and might find a cute kid with those features stunning. But that’s still subjective. And somebody else would find another set of features attractive.

I'm so proud of all my 3 adult DC. They are wonderful humans, kind, generous, hard working and caring and they look good too. My 2 DGS's are amazing boys too.

I would never, ever say this out loud. In fact, I don't mention looks at all- apart from wash your hair/ face/ HOW much bronzer?

But ds is a really good looking lad. He's got the best of his dad and me. You'd never know though, cos he hides his face behind his hair.

Dd isn't as good looking. She's always had a touch of the potato about her. But she's got the sunnier personality, which makes her much more attractive to people. I think she will probably bloom in her late teens.

A touch of the potato?😲

Those of you saying we are all deluded, do you have children?

I always had the sense my mum found me unattractive, as did my siblings. It has stayed with me my entire life.

Hi mum!

lol

Well yes but that's the point.

Kind of round and featureless. But I think that will change as she comes out of puberty.

Well you're all wrong cos MINE are the most gorgeous. ANd my friends' lad who has the most gorgeous blonde curls. And my other friends daughter who's like a little cute pixie. And my niblings who are gorgeous. Especially the baby who looks like me as a baby. I was very cute as a baby.

In reality of course there are prettier / cuter kids but if they're not the most beautiful things to have existed to me, who else will adore them?

I say this about my friend’s kids. I say how pretty they are and how they must be running girls from their door.

The truth is I just say it to try to be nice to them. I don’t mean it. Their kids are a little odd looking. Both parents are plain so of course the kids aren’t and are never going to be stunningly beautiful. I suppose I say it because I feel I have to comment when I receive a back to school photo or holiday snap. There is only so many times I can say ‘looks fun’.

.

I properly did the deluded hormones but with DS. I literally cried looking at him once as I was so overwhelmed by how beautiful he was (as if he was the Sistine Chapel lol). Photos from the time now reveal a wrinkly gremlin. He was so scrawny and red as a baby (health issues meant he failed to thrive as a newborn). And he had terrible neonatal acne and cradle cap. Poor DS.

He’s 9 now and I currently genuinely perceive him as an astonishingly gorgeous 9 year old. I need about 10 years’ distance to check!

Well - exactly. Nobody is going to tell someone that their kids are ugly fuckers, are they?

I think most young children are very sweet. Perhaps not "beautiful", but cute and funny and lovely in a way that makes you go "awww"! I had always assumed it was some kind of survival mechanism because tiny children are so dependent on us 😂. I have seldom seen an "ugly" toddler, even those who are unconventional looking. There is something attractive about almost all of them.

My own children, no I'm afraid I don't think they're stunning. I think they're average to above-average looking (maybe that in itself is deluded?), but perhaps that's only because they're well-fed, get plenty of exercise, look cared for and I choose clothes that suit them. My older one is very tall, a great lummox of a 7yo - all pointy arms and legs and limbs flying everywhere and wobbly teeth and new teeth coming in. He definitely needs to grow into himself, but in the meantime he is a smiling, affectionate, sharp-elbowed bundle of fun who is relatively kind to those around him but has moments of such supreme self-interested behaviour that I find it hilarious while also telling him off. I'm afraid that alongside not looking like a child angel, he doesn't have the character of one either - he is very human. My younger one is a crazy-haired pixie with a turned-up nose and a good line in the sort of Paddington hard stares that make strangers uncomfortable.

When we are out in public, I spend a lot of time apologising for them rather than basking in the reflected glow of their golden aura. It's the flailing limbs normally.

There are several things going on here.

First, in a country where most people's basic nutritional needs are met, most kids are reasonably nice looking, say at primary level, also because children have features that make them good to care for, so big eyes, cuteness and so on.

I work at a university where lots of middle-class children go and most are good-looking these days, in that they have good nutrition, grow taller, hair care products are cheaper, they are young, slim (most are at this age), dress well, are into fitness/gym (this is a big thing for many young people) and so on. Anyone that gets acne goes to the doctor rather than just suffering on. Few are truly awful looking at this age- but most are not model-good looks, whatever their parents believe on here!

It is class related, and mumsnet has a distinctive demographic- if you get your kids teeth fixed, whitened, they stay slimish when young, have long swishy hair, or the boys go to the gym, they will look attractive- but so do the rest of their friends in the main.

My children are good-looking in this model, but not model good looks, just nice looking gorgeous young people, as indeed I was in my time.

What do people want for their adult kids, anyway? Personally, I can't imagine being that impressed if the most I could say about my 30yo child was that they were "beautiful".

I'd prefer to be able to say that they were the sort of person who gets stuck into life. I was at a wider family barbeque recently, and it was completely obvious which people were the sort of people who got stuck in, and which just floated around lazily/aimlessly on the edges. I'd hope that my adult children are people who can "shift", for want of a better word.

Is this a humorous comment?

If not, that's a slightly over the top way to think about your children.

😂. They must have run out of angels reincarnated in human form when I reached the front of the queue!

What do people want for their adult kids, anyway? Personally, I can't imagine being that impressed if the most I could say about my 30yo child was that they were "beautiful".

The thread is full of people replying to the question the OP asked.
She didn't ask for other attributes, just whether the feeling of having the most beautiful baby/young child continues into adulthood.

It seems that yes, it does.

My three DC are actually the most beautiful men ever and so is my cat, that’s a non biased fact.

Absolutely agree with this.

I must be one of the only people on mumsnet able to look at my children objectively.

I love them but neither of them are models.

Eldest one is tall, handsome, good hair, good teeth, athletic looking, so scrubs up well.

Younger one is cuter, he's a boy girly looking but with long lashes, pouty lips, lovely skin, surfer blonde hair.

They look great because they're young, fit and healthy. Like most kids.

I don't know who all the people with stunning model kids are, they certainly aren't in my children's classes.

Ah, now my cats.
1 is classically handsome. He's a moggy, but long limbed and noble of face. He's a bit thick though, like a proper model.

2 is a pretty boy, with black lines round his eyes.short and muscly.

Of course! I was being tongue in cheek. If we didn't think they were gorgeous, we'd leave them in the cereal aisle after the first tantrum!
😊