What to do re SEN child?

[ToastTheCat]

Hi all,

I have a three year old little boy who has a genetic disorder that causes developmental delay and mild intellectual disability. He cannot walk but crawls and "walks" on his knees, he also can't talk bar a few words and is on the ASD pathway.

He's in a normal nursery setting but we are awaiting his EHCP which is going to take about a year to complete.

My issue is he's moved up into the pre school room and is not having a good time. He really doesn't like being around the children, he becomes territorial and distressed when they come near and starts hurting himself physically and has caused quite a bad injury to his face. He's distressed doing the things he used to do like going outside or drawing and playing and he's just not having a good time.

I'm reducing his days from 5 days to 3 days and then we're going to try and slowly build him back to 5 but if that doesn't work then leave him at 3 but If he continues being in so much distress then I don't know what to do because of his EHCP and I can't pull him out completely.

Has anyone had any similar experiences and can advise anything?

I'm just so upset and stressed about it all, and it's hard because he's such a lovely little boy and the staff love him but it must be so hard for him :(

Hopeful bump

Is there a real reason (not jist a birthday!) he has moved up to the preschool room? Does he really need to be in there? He is crawling not running so the danger development of haring around isn't a problem. Especially if he's only just 3 I'd ask for him to be moved back for now.

He was moved up because it's a smaller class (and a birthday). He's been okay (in the sense of just avoiding the children) the last few weeks with it being half term and not as many children but now all the classes have too many kids for him to cope with.

In the previous class he was really withdrawn and just ignored the other children and would be at the other side of the room to wherever they were so I don't know if it's a better option but I'll speak to nursery about it. Thank you.

Im sorry OP. no advice at all, but didn't want to just click away. My DC are Autistic and my middle boy especially had a lot of struggles at that age, used to crash himself into the walls and hurt me and his little brother. It's so hard, not just on him, but also on you. Im sorry you're both having to tread that road.

I think PPs idea of seeing if they'd put him back in his old room could be good. My friend's youngest is Autistic and non verbal and he finds the inability to express himself very frustrating and this itself can lead to hitting out or hurting themselves.

My DS was slightly older when we did his EHCP (reception), but the school was able to apply for interim funding, to get support in place while the ehcp assessment was ongoing. Not sure if it's the same for nursery age, but might be worth asking, if they can get funding for some more 1:1 time, they could maybe take him to a different area when he seems overwhelmed

I think ignoring is probably better then hurting himself. Ignoring can be he's overwhelmed but, it can also be a lack of interest whereas hurting himself Id think of as he's not coping. My oldest DS completely ignored other kids at playschool till he was about 5. At 3 his brother would get up and move to another activity if a child sat down beside him.

Does he have 1:1 support at the moment?

An EHCP does not take a year to complete. There's a strict 20 week timeline from application to completion. Where exactly are you in the process?

A bit yeah. His specialist teacher recommended he has some 1:1 time so I think the senco there spends about half an hour with him a day.

EHCP timeline explained!

The nursery has requested the educational psychologist to visit and decide if he needs one. The specialist teacher and nursery have said he does but told me it'll take a year before it's in place so I'll have to apply for mainstream schools in the meantime. His ASD assessment is scheduled for around October 2024 too so I don't know if that plays any part.

Do you have support? Early Years help? Do you have a specialist nursery nearby? My son attended a split of preschool and a specialist nursery. The staff there were great at identifying his needs and pushed the EHCP forward.

It sounds like he needs more 1:1 support during the day to enable him to play either alone or alongside others, without becoming dysregulated.

Local authorities differ, but your nursery should be able to apply for additional funding, particularly as they are in the process of applying for an EHCP.

Another thing to consider, if your work pattern can support it, is rather than cutting down from 5 whole days to 3 whole days, could he do 5 half days instead? So he’s attending every day, but for a shorter time. Tiredness, hunger, thirst and general overwhelm may be making things worse.

Ok, that's not how it works.

You apply for an EHCP, and as part of the needs assessment the EP comes out and writes a report.

The legal test for getting an EHC needs assessment is very simple - you must show that the child may have SEN and the child may need provision to meet said SEN that is beyond what is ordinarily available.

The nursery are fobbing you off, sorry to say. They need to write up their own reports and apply for the EHCP immediately. No need to wait for an EP report before applying.

Re EHCP - there are statutory guidelines for assessing and granting an EHCP and it’s certainly not a year.

The ASD assessment being in October shouldn’t make any difference as an EHCP is based on need not diagnosis.

I’m sorry to say that your nursery doesn’t sound terribly well informed.

They've told me I need an EHCP for a specialist school/Nursery.

We have a lot of support in the sense of a neuro paediatrician, specialist health visitor, a special educational teacher, clinical psychologist and Senco at nursery but it's all intermittent visits and waiting a long time for assessments (which is understandable).

I crossed messages with @DeleteIfNotAloud . She/he explained it well.

If you have all those professionals involved already then you have more than enough evidence to apply for an EHCP and I urge you to do so ASAP. Nursery are not acting in your child's best interests by delaying the process unnecessarily.

Definitely request an EHCNA now yourself @DeleteIfNotAloud posted. On their website IPSEA has a model letter you can use.

In the meantime, has the nursery applied for early years inclusion funding and, presuming DS is in receipt of DLA, disability access funding?

Also investigate if your LA has specialist early years assessment nursery places for those going through or needing to go through the EHCNA process.

Gosh thank you for the advice everyone, it's all a bit overwhelming and I have a lot to crack on with.

The nursery has applied for extra funding but I got a letter saying it's been declined but they are appealing it as DS does get DLA and needs help.

It is overwhelming and sorry to tell you it gets worse! You have to become something of an expert in SEN law to get your child what they need, but it's worth it, trust me.

Don't rely on schools or LAs to be honest with you or put your child's needs first. You are the best and most motivated advocate your child will have.

@DeleteIfNotAloud should I ask for the nursery's support with applying for the EHCP or should I just do it myself and the LA will contact them?

You're right it's hard but it's worth it, I wish I knew this sooner so I could have got it all sorted for him but now I know I'm gonna get my laptop set up and follow the letter from IPSEA.

Is mainstream schooling going to be appropriate for him?
My son is 14 now and has complex disabilities and has always gone too a special school ,i was really upset at first when it was first suggested but in reality mainstream could never have met his needs I know its not that simple and it's very much a post code lottery for provision of special schools ,but if it's suggested. try and be open minded about it .

I'd just do it yourself tbh. You can probably get it done by Monday! Whereas the nursery have already shown signs of delaying tactics so I wouldn't trust them to do it in any kind of hurry.

Speak to the nursery about the EHCNA request, but don’t delay submitting it if they say it isn’t needed yet or they will do it is a month/term. The LA should contact them once you have submitted the request.