What to do re SEN child?

[ToastTheCat]

Hi all,

I have a three year old little boy who has a genetic disorder that causes developmental delay and mild intellectual disability. He cannot walk but crawls and "walks" on his knees, he also can't talk bar a few words and is on the ASD pathway.

He's in a normal nursery setting but we are awaiting his EHCP which is going to take about a year to complete.

My issue is he's moved up into the pre school room and is not having a good time. He really doesn't like being around the children, he becomes territorial and distressed when they come near and starts hurting himself physically and has caused quite a bad injury to his face. He's distressed doing the things he used to do like going outside or drawing and playing and he's just not having a good time.

I'm reducing his days from 5 days to 3 days and then we're going to try and slowly build him back to 5 but if that doesn't work then leave him at 3 but If he continues being in so much distress then I don't know what to do because of his EHCP and I can't pull him out completely.

Has anyone had any similar experiences and can advise anything?

I'm just so upset and stressed about it all, and it's hard because he's such a lovely little boy and the staff love him but it must be so hard for him :(

It's already been suggested he'll need a special school with his needs which I completely agree with - he's very delayed and like mentioned doesn't cope very well.

My son went to a specialist nursery and it was they who arranged the EHCP, he didn't need one to get there. I think this differs by area though, so I'm sure you can goggle it.

I don't think it's possible in my area, I've googled but can't find anything.

Had to fill out an incident report today as he's hurt another child. It's so deflating and upsetting.

Good news is I sent the EHCP off yesterday so at least that process has started. Thank you everyone who helped with that.

It really can be soul destroying, I feel for you! I remember this stage so well. My child is 13 now (and thriving in the right specialist setting) but when he was younger things were just horrific. At one point I was being called into school daily to deal with incidents and violence. It was a seemingly never ending cycle and I honestly think it left both of us with PTSD.

You're doing all the right things. Don't give up on the EHCP, don't take no for an answer, because getting him into the right setting will be transformative. Good luck 🍀

It’s a difficult age. Do you have any alternative local authority nurseries locally that have better trained staff for SEN needs? Certainly the nursery at least should have a SENCO which will help you with the EHCP process.

The EHCP is a whole topic in itself sadly. But there are lots of website you can use to understand the process and personally I went down the route of legal aid to get the best outcome.

I went down the route of legal aid to get the best outcome.

Even if OP meets the financial criteria for legal aid she wouldn’t be eligible at this stage. That would come into play if OP needed to appeal a decision.