For having these feelings?

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Have recently developed feelings for a close family member of my DH.

Really struggling. What should I do?

Shag his family member, obviously.

Helpful.

There’s something lacking in your relationship you are seeing in the person, can you think what it is? Maybe couples counselling could help or some romance into your relationship?

Dont do it ask your self why your feeling this way sit down talk to your dh and try and see where you can improve your marriage

DH is a really good guy we have a good relationship. He's not that affectionate maybe? Quite steady. I don't know if I just need more attention.. but can't really blame him.

Sounds like my DH OP, really good guy but not that affectionate. Doesn't help that I'm a very loving touchy feely kind of person so I do crave a bit of attention that I don't get. Not that I'm tempted to stray, but it doesn't make me question a bit how happy I am being with someone who doesn't really do romance!

What are you feeling about it all? Who is the relative?

Suffer in silence till it passes off.

Think about how life would look if you acted on these feelings, and the hurt it would cause. Think about if your DH walked out on you what would you truly feel? If you had to choose between these 2 people who would you choose?

Does the family member have feelings for you?

YANBU for having feelings, but what you choose to do about them is what's really important. Can't advise you on that without more context.

As a PP said, think about what would happen if you acted on those feelings and whether it would be worth the cost.

I believe they do have feelings too. I think just need time apart and then hope it passes? We don't live nearby or anything. I'm just worried the feelings won't pass.

Is it his brother?

No not brother. Worse than that!

His dad 😳

Worse than brother? 😬🫣
You can’t act on it, OP.
You need to keep your distance from said family member and try practicing mindfulness and self-compassion to let the thoughts and feelings drift by if they do pop up.

His sister or mum? 😬

@Padfootnprongs tell me more?

What makes you think they have feelings for you?

It is not unreasonable to have the feelings. But it would be profoundly wrong to publicize them to anyone or to act on them in any way. Work on your relationship with dh.

Anyone can have feelings that are difficult to manage, but you are entirely responsible for the actions you take. You can control what you do.

Don't be one of those people who tosses a grenade in the middle of their own life. You will not be the only casualty.

They just do. Bu nothing has happened. Very dangerous territory!

Very well said @Aquamarine1029

If you google mindfulness loads will pop up, but this site give the general gist:
https://www.madeofmillions.com/ocd/mindfulness/amp

Try reading up on mindfulness in the context of OCD and or anxiety, because it will deal with unwelcome / intrusive thoughts (it can also just be used daily as a kind of meditative practice). I know you don’t have OCD etc, but it still may be helpful.

The thing with intrusive thoughts is, the more you try to ignore them the more they pop up. Mindfulness is about noticing, accepting and letting go of your thoughts in a non judgemental way, which diminishes their power and control over you.

Thank you @Padfootnprongs that's really helpful.