I've just found out, through a mutual friend, that a very close school friend has died very quickly at a relatively young age. I feel so sad for my friend, and her husband, who was also my friend for many years (I knew him independently).
My instinct is to reach out to him, offer help and send condolences.
But, the issue is that my friend ghosted me a few years ago (sorry, that's a terrible word in the circumstances, I realise). I never worked out why, but I think she did the slow fade (she was too busy to meet and then didn't respond to calls or texts at all. When I checked, after a while, I realised I could no longer see her on social media - I guess I was either blocked or she had deactivated her accounts). This was very out of character and we had been very close.
In the years since I tried to puzzle it out and never worked out what I'd done wrong. I did try texting him once to ask if they were both OK but I never heard back. He's never been on social media much.
I wondered if it had been a horrible mix-up, and always thought at some point our paths would cross and we could sort things out. Now, obviously, that can't happen.
Would I be unreasonable to try to contact her widower now? I'd never mention the fall-out. I just wanted to send condolences.