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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Feeling uneasy when tradespeople come in to do work

78 replies

Auburngal · 17/04/2024 16:51

Whenever I get tradespeople - heating engineer, Sky engineer etc come into my home, I do feel uneasy. I know they are there for a reason - replacing the valve on my heating etc.

I stick into one room where they aren't working.

Is it just me or what?

OP posts:
the80sweregreat · 18/04/2024 11:30

I'm not keen on having people in the house , but with my kitchen extension I struck gold with the two loveliest builders imaginable!
They were brilliant
I guess that makes all the difference really

RaraRachael · 18/04/2024 11:57

If it's just a small job I busy myself in another room. We live in a small town so know they are all trustworthy.

Anything bigger like redecorating or having new kitchen installed we'll arrange for when we're on holiday so we avoid the upheaval.

Scorchio84 · 18/04/2024 12:01

I hate this too... the feeling isn't "uneasy" for me but more "ugh when will this end.. I had to tidy waaay more than I needed to"

My fella is a plumber... he doesn't feel "uneasy" it's his job...

kirinm · 18/04/2024 15:16

If a tradesperson made me feel uneasy, I wouldn't have them in the house. It's a bit awkward to try and be around whilst having work done but there's a difference between it being slightly awkward to you being slightly afraid

FangsForTheMemory · 18/04/2024 15:18

I hate it, even the nice ones.

RampantIvy · 18/04/2024 15:38

AGodawfulsmallaffair · 18/04/2024 07:27

I must be really weird then. I’m normally relieved to be having whatever work it is done. I provide coffee / biscuits, have a chat if they want to, then more or less leave them to it. I’ve never had a bad vibe, but then I don’t look for one.

I'm weird as well then, or lucky.

Auburngal · 18/04/2024 15:44

Think the size of the property affects this. Remember about 15-17 years ago when living with my parents, they had tradespeople come in (I was between jobs) when both working and wasn’t bothered.

Now in a 1 bed place - more uneasy.

OP posts:
Bumblebeeinatree · 18/04/2024 15:47

RampantIvy · 17/04/2024 17:17

I was working upstairs in my office when we had a new kitchen. They wouldn't have appreciated me hovering over them all day.

If it was a big job like that I obviously wouldn't hover all the time, we have had extensions done etc, but a boiler repair or something I would watch.

Laiste · 18/04/2024 15:50

I used to.

But in my last house i had the roof off and a loft conversion done and it took 16 weeks with 4/5 guys in regularly 5 days a week. It sort of cured me.

I got through a lorry load of Tate and Lyle that summer (for tea and coffee) and got to know about their lives in quite a lot of detail as they'd come down one at a time and sit at my kitchen table and eat their sarnies and chew my ear off. They would moan a lot about each other 😂Monday mornings was catch up on the weekend goings on, and i was unofficial marriage guidance for one of them and he worked stuff out quite well by the end of it 🙂

They were nice guys but i was glad to get my home back.

My DH is a tradesman who used to do residential work so i have an insight into their side of it a bit and that helps.

Bumblebeeinatree · 18/04/2024 15:53

kirinm · 17/04/2024 17:19

I'd assume they think you're a nightmare too particularly since you evidently think they're there to steal from you.

No I don't think they are going to steal. Like the OP said I feel a bit uncomfortable if they are randomly in the house, but also I am a very practical person, so learn from them and also sometimes have useful input about peculiarities in our house and my experience, I am an Civil Engineer by trade.

exiledfromcornwall · 18/04/2024 15:54

I am so glad I found this thread, and that I am not the only person who has a problem with having tradesmen in the house (and I am married, with husband here all the time). Like a PP said, I am always immensely relieved when they have gone.

kirinm · 18/04/2024 15:58

@Bumblebeeinatree they aren't randomly in your house though?

Do you work on construction sites and feel similarly? (Curiosity not a snidey comment I promise)!

taxguru · 18/04/2024 15:58

kirinm · 17/04/2024 17:19

I'd assume they think you're a nightmare too particularly since you evidently think they're there to steal from you.

I don't watch them because I think they're going to steal.

I watch them to make sure they're doing the job properly, not making too much mess, not breaking things, etc.

RampantIvy · 18/04/2024 16:01

I watch them to make sure they're doing the job properly, not making too much mess, not breaking things, etc.

I would hate it if my boss watched me all the time for those reasons. It's really off putting.

I will ask tradesmen for tips but watching over them all the time does imply that you don't trust them.

Tdcp · 18/04/2024 16:06

My DP and FIL are tradesmen and I still feel uneasy when other trades are in the house 😅. I just ask if they want a drink and then leave them alone to do their job.

Teaalwayshelps · 18/04/2024 16:08

Fredsinthebed · 17/04/2024 23:42

Its taken me 14 years (since moving here) to find a Plumber, Electrician, Painter and Builder I totally utterly trust.

I am happy to leave any of them in the house if I need to go out, buy them nice coffee, biscuits and cakes, pay them the minute the bill arrives and tip well.

I live in fear of losing any of them. It is so lovely not to feel that frisson of fear if something goes wrong and to know that they are always there.

Tip???
Are you supposed to tip them?

the80sweregreat · 18/04/2024 16:26

I have tipped tradesmen too in the past if they do a good job.
Not sure if it's as much of a thing now as many don't take cash anymore.
Plus the prices have rocketed , so maybe people just don't now?
( not had any significant building work done in years)

kirinm · 18/04/2024 16:39

@taxguru how would you know they're doing the job properly? How could you tell say, an electrician, that they are doing their job correctly? And trades often make a mess. They generally tidy it up at the end. You're totally unreasonable if you expect them to make no mess!

AGodawfulsmallaffair · 18/04/2024 16:57

RampantIvy · 18/04/2024 15:38

I'm weird as well then, or lucky.

Or both! I’m nice and welcoming to every tradesperson that comes to my house - and they’re nice to me.

kirinm · 18/04/2024 17:15

Just asked my electrical DP who said in his nearly 20 years of being an electrician, he's been tipped once and he found it odd. Definitely not expected!

Fredsinthebed · 18/04/2024 17:16

@Teaalwayshelps

i do. I have learnt over time that when I find a great tradesman, I need to keep him.

taxguru · 19/04/2024 07:53

kirinm · 18/04/2024 16:39

@taxguru how would you know they're doing the job properly? How could you tell say, an electrician, that they are doing their job correctly? And trades often make a mess. They generally tidy it up at the end. You're totally unreasonable if you expect them to make no mess!

Obviously, you don't know if, say, an electrician is wiring a new fuseboard correctly or a gas engineering putting a gas fire together properly. But, a lot of the time, you CAN observe what tradesmen are doing, i.e. whether they're fitting the radiator in the right place and level, or whether a gardener is trimming a shrub to the right size/shape, or a decorator is hanging the wallpaper neatly or painting neat edges etc.

As for tidyness, again, depends on the job, but if someone is, say, drilling a hole in a fully furnished room, I'd expect them to put a dustpan under the drill, or if, say, a gas engineer is using spray or lubricant, I'd expect them to put the container on a mat/paper rather than on a brand new cream carpet! In an otherwise empty room, with no furniture, no carpets, etc., then absolutely the tradesman can crack on making as much dust etc as he wants. It's all a matter of context!

We once had a carpet fitter who plonked a can of red bull on our brand new wood fireplace which left a circular stain that was impossible to remove as the liquid was absorbed into the wood.

There's a massive difference between inevitable mess of big messy jobs and sheer sloppiness from lack of care and consideration!

LordPercyPercy · 19/04/2024 07:57

When we had our kitchen done we just gave the guy the keys and went on holiday for a week!
He was a neighbour though.

Now DH just does it all, far less stressful.

taxguru · 19/04/2024 07:59

Fredsinthebed · 18/04/2024 17:16

@Teaalwayshelps

i do. I have learnt over time that when I find a great tradesman, I need to keep him.

Likewise, that's what we've done, but over the years, most have now retired and it's a constant battle to find one that (a) will actually turn up as agreed and (b) will do a job to a better standard than I could have done myself!

All we have left is an excellent electrician - an older guy who's taken on an apprentice who's being trained very well to be considerate and reliable - a lovely young lad, so hopefully, we'll be able to use him when the older bloke retires. The other is a plasterer who actually manages to make what is one of the messiest jobs into something bareable by not making too much mess - unfortunately, our whole house has now been re-plastered as necessary so we don't have a need for him anymore. As for a plumber, we've got one who is competent at the work, but is a nightmare for being messy, and has no attention to detail - everything he does "looks" shoddy, i.e. taps at funny angles, sloping radiator, wonky pipework, but we put up with it as he's reliable, turns up as promised, and the actual "water/gas" side of things is always right.

mondaytosunday · 19/04/2024 10:27

I understand how you feel. I had builders in for months and I found it very hard to work while they were here. And they were all lovely! It's just having someone in your space. I do not feel uneasy from a safety point of view however.