Feeling uneasy when tradespeople come in to do work

[Auburngal]

Whenever I get tradespeople - heating engineer, Sky engineer etc come into my home, I do feel uneasy. I know they are there for a reason - replacing the valve on my heating etc.

I stick into one room where they aren't working.

Is it just me or what?

I loathe having anyone in the house, and I'm quite a confident person!

I feel exactly the same !! For some reason I always worry about going to the loo - I worry that will be the time they need to ask me a question lol

Uneasy? My anxiety hits the roof, so to speak.
I hide it.
What else? 😕

Its taken me 14 years (since moving here) to find a Plumber, Electrician, Painter and Builder I totally utterly trust.

I am happy to leave any of them in the house if I need to go out, buy them nice coffee, biscuits and cakes, pay them the minute the bill arrives and tip well.

I live in fear of losing any of them. It is so lovely not to feel that frisson of fear if something goes wrong and to know that they are always there.

Keeping out of their way is a good plan- noone wants to work with someone breathing down their neck.z
Your home us your nest, your safe space .I think it is totally natural to feel uneasy with strangers in there

Agree. I obviously would rather not have work ongoing, and don’t fully relax until everyone is out BUT it is sooo much better when you have people you know and trust. My main anxiety is over how often I need to make them tea to keep them happy.

Me too.We're having a new bathroom fitted at the beginning of next month.With all the work involved the job's estimated to last for 5 days. I am getting wound up about it already.It's not the mess or whether they'll do a good job,it's the fact that my home will be taken over by several strangers;the plumber,the floorer,the tiler,the electrician- and all with their mates.I'm staying downstairs;I'll try and do all my normal stuff as much as possible,but I'll be in knots the whole time.

On the rare occasion I have to let someone in - usually electricians checking the village smoke detectors - I don't feel at all uneasy. My only concern is that they don't stumble over my cats or let them out by mistake. My unit is so small - bedroom, bathroom and lounge, with the kitchen doubling as the corridor - that keeping out of their sight isn't really feasible, even if I wanted to. I haven't had to deal with any sleazy creep tradies in my home, fortunately.

Most people?? In the real world I don't know anyone who feels like this. When I worked I wasn't actually there when they were, but on the occasions I have been there I couldn't care less about it. I keep out of their way, but that's just because they don't need me hovering over them. MN really is a different world!

My home is my home. It's not a 'Safe Space'.

If I employ someone to do a job, I let them in, offer them a cup of tea, and then let them get on with it.

What else would one do?

I fucking love it when a tradesman comes in to fix something in my home.

Cos I couldn't do it myself.

Have a chat, offer them coffee (always no), hang around when they're fixing. And wave them off.

I let them get on with it wherever possible, but some things I really do want to know how to bloody do that myself so I may hover, but I try not to be irritating about it!

I do have a bit of Post Traumatic Builder Disorder after five weeks of the buggers refitting kitchen and bathroom in January, but on the whole it was not as bad as it could have been. They didn't fuck up the big stuff, didn't let any dogs out or interfer with work too much. There are some small fuck ups (the raging gale that blows in through the visible gap under my back door being one!) and I spent a lot of time sending my partner out to rescue various bits of their equipment they left out front (to get nicked) or out back (to get rained on)...

Hasn't put me off, in fact im more willing than ever before to 'get a little man in' and recently had someone add another power socket under the stairs so my fridge can go somewhere more accessible to me! I feel quite chuffed with myself for sorting that as 'getting a little man in' is very much NOT the Widdlin Family Way (bodge it yourself then moan about how crap it is for the next 20 years is our way!!).

I don't mind tradespeople being in my home.
I usually make them a cuppa and get the biscuits out, then leave them to it.
I've had some right laughs with some of them, especially the plasterer when I went into labour on him. I almost laughed the baby out, he was hilarious.

Oh I am the same. But I also feel like I am being judged. I'm on maternity leave and get out with the little one most mornings but then spend some of the afternoon lounging on the sofa. I try and look busy although relaxing time is what we both need.

I do mostly leave them alone except for offering tea. I found it easier when I was WFH. As I has something specific to do and could pop into the room every so often and they knew where I was.

When we were having our kitchen done I just left the kettle and tea and coffee things for the fitters to help themselves.

This did away with any feeling of awkwardness of when to offer drinks.

I must be really weird then. I’m normally relieved to be having whatever work it is done. I provide coffee / biscuits, have a chat if they want to, then more or less leave them to it. I’ve never had a bad vibe, but then I don’t look for one.

I always feel weird about someone seeing that I laze around on my days off. I don’t know why though- as if they even care!!! Have the bathroom done next month and already dreading the weirdness of wondering what to do with myself when I’m not at work.

Why would you care about that?

Honestly.

When my DC were very young we lived in a very small village, in the Big House, one of the school mums was our cleaner, I'd often go for a sleep and say, 'don't do our room, I'm having a sleep'.

I know she had a gossip about it, it found its way back to me.

I did not care.

Why would I care? She no doubt told everyone I was an utter slattern as well.

I am, and have always been a bit lazy. No shame.

My husband had one elderly chap pull up a chair and watch as his new kitchen was being fitted . Chatting away. At the end of the week he shook my husband's hand and said he'd really enjoyed it all and would miss him.

As someone who is very introverted and needs a lot of time alone, I remain astonished at how MNers go to pieces at things like this. No, of course you can't relax like you would normally and it feels mildly awkward, but on the other hand something that needs fixing is going to be fixed. It's up to you whether the very, very mild annoyance of someone in your house for an afternoon outweighs the house working properly.

Also, saying you "can't do" what you'd normally do is bollocks. You may feel a little awkward about it but you just have to crack on and do it. The tradesman doesn't give a shit, they're there to do a job. I let them in, I offer them a drink then I let them get on with it while I get on with my job/home workout/listening to music/whatever. It's only overly awkward if you get in your own head about it.

I'm always surprised when they say no, even to water, but I suppose they'd have their own water bottles.

Was also very surprised when one of them asked very politely if he could use the loo. Of course the answer was yes but he'd been n the house for 5 hours at that point, so I was impressed he hadn't needed to before!

My overriding emotion while he was in the house was "thank christ we will have a working oven again after today".

Dh can't do a lot of big jobs like plumbing / electrical things , but how I wished he could some times , mostly because of the cost more than anything else.
Plus getting any trades in these days is almost impossible where I live

No idea, like I said.

Definitely not just you, absolutely hate it . Had someone in the other day to change electric board I was thinking it would be an hour or two. Was there from 8 till 5. I find it so awkward and I hid in my bedroom for most of the day 🙄 pathetic I know

@seven201 thanks for that it's good to hear from the other side of it . It is an awkward and personal situation and posters saying it's an MN thing are wrong lots of people I've spoke to hate having anyone in.