Long one...
Me and DH have a 2 bed apartment and whenever his family have come over I have always tried to make it comfortable. Me and DH will usually take the kids and sleep together in our room giving a spare room to his nephew and sister.
However, SIL refuses to share a bed with her DM so then it results to DM sleeping on the sofa. My DH doesn't like anyone sleeping on the sofa as this has caused it to break and an uncomfortable argument took place. My MIL may have also acted a tad dramatic as well. I told my DH to apologise to his mum and to not make people feel awkward in our home which he has a number of times. I have now brought a blow up mattress for when they come. However, his family now doesn't show up as often or his mum will intentionally bring up sleeping arrangements and avoid staying longer than 1 day.
I find it really selfish and borderline rude given we have found a solution to help. My MIL rarely comes as it is to visit our kids and then the one opportunity that comes she intentionally asked her DD to book a ticket so they would only stay 1 night. I haven't mentioned DH because I know that would upset him and I have told SIL that this mention of arrangements needs to stop because it's starting to sound like an excuse. My SIL also as a result talks shit about my DH her DB and it pisses off because actually as a mother you should be making all efforts for your children even if it makes you uncomfortable that's my opinion. I'm sick Of Mil and SIL continuously bringing it up and making it an issue.
AIBU?
AIBU to think my MIL is being unreasonable
butterflywingss · 17/04/2024 13:42
icelollycraving · 17/04/2024 13:44
Id just be happy they weren’t staying!
RomeoRivers · 17/04/2024 13:48
Why can’t they stay in a nearby hotel or air bnb?
TinaYouFatLard · 17/04/2024 13:54
I wouldn’t want to sleep on an airbed or sofa for more than one night. You just don’t have room to accommodate them and it must be really uncomfortable for everyone.
Gazelda · 17/04/2024 13:55
Does your MIL never visit without her DD and GS? Do you ever go to stay with her?
To be honest, it sounds as though there isn't enough room for all of you in the flat. I'd probably restrict my visits if I were MIL and being asked to sleep on a blow up mattress too. Why can't she have the second bedroom and your DSIL and DN share the blow up and sofa?
Your DH started this by being precious about the sofa. Maybe she felt insulted that he implied she was too heavy? Surely the average 2 or 3 seater sofa can accommodate an adult occasionally sleeping on it?
I'm not sure its MIL being unreasonable. Not that anyone else is either. But the solution isn't really comfortable for her so she's not visiting so much, which is understandable.
KreedKafer · 17/04/2024 14:02
There isn’t room for you all.
MIL is not being unreasonable for not wanting to sleep on a blow up mattress, and your SIL is not being unreasonable for not wanting to share a bed with MIL. You can’t expect them to be delighted about staying with you when there simply isn’t room in your home for them to sleep comfortably, especially when your DH was a dickhead about his mum wanting to sleep on the sofa.
(I also can’t see how a sofa would ‘break’ from an adult lying down on it.)
You’re being ridiculous.
Pogointospring · 17/04/2024 13:58
You have you, your DH and your children in one room, and you want your sister in law, mother in law and nephew to share a room/children’s bed or sleep on an air mattress in the other?
I wouldn’t be staying if I was them. I wouldn’t be comfortable sharing a bed with my mother (I’d only do it in an emergency), I can’t sleep on an air mattress nor would I want to feel I’d kicked your children out their room. It all just sounds too cramped for regular visits and if I was your in-laws I wouldn’t stay long either - or I’d stay in a hotel.
pleasehelpagirlout · 17/04/2024 14:10
Sorry but there’s no way I’d take my child / children out of their bedroom and into mine for visitors. You have a 2 bed apartment one bedroom for you and DH and one for children. Sorry, they’d have to find a hotel nearby!
Gazelda · 17/04/2024 14:11
There's at least 7 of you in a 2 bed apartment. The eldest person is on a blow up mattress. The same lady has also been told she mustn't sleep on the sofa in case it breaks. You're pissed off at her and your other visitors because they only stay 1 night.
I know you'd like them to make more of a visit, but honestly, it doesn't sound very comfortable for MIL at all.
And I can't understand why its MIL you're pissed off at. What has she done wrong other than letting you know she's not comfortable on the blow up?
DottieMoon · 17/04/2024 14:15
I think you are the one being unreasonable and dramatic. They don't have to stay at all if they don't want to, it doesn't matter if you enjoy their company, it's their decision. They shouldn't have share beds or sleep on blow up mattresses if they don't want to just to please you. Stop being selfish!
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Notreat · 17/04/2024 14:22
I can't say I blame her for not wanting to stay. Sleeping on a sofa is uncomfortable and when she did her son complained that she broke it.
She probably finds it hard to relax at your house and exhausting. Can you visit her instead?
Octavia64 · 17/04/2024 14:23
Two things.
One, there was clearly a row.
The cramped conditions were obviously not an issue per se until the sofa broke and from your description there always a family row.
Your mil probably did not enjoy the row and is now avoiding staying because she doesn't want any more rows.
Two, by western standards the number of people you have sleeping in the same room is bloody ridiculous. And putting MiL, the eldest of them all, on a blow up mattress is to my English eyes incredibly disrespectful.
I'm of an age now where I could be a MIL and it is absolutely unreasonable not to be offering an older person a bed.
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