To do my own birthday?

[notanoxfordcomma]

It's my birthday on Friday.

My husband isn't hugely into birthdays, whereas I was raised by a mom who made the day really special.

DH will go out with the kids to get cards and gifts but isn't into decorating the house and so on. I've accepted this, and the years I've mentioned that I'd like it he has made the effort with banners and balloons etc, but probably wouldn't bother otherwise.

He isn't well at the minute due to an injury and I know there's no chance of him going to get those bits.... aibu to do it myself?

Should I get over myself at almost 40 and recognise that a lack of bday banners isn't necessarily a lack of appreciation?!

Do I need banners up on my bday?
I sound like a brat, don't I 🥴

If it makes you happy, do it!

I mean it makes you sound like a child not a brat. But if it makes you happy do it! Happy birthday for Friday 🎈

My kids love making banners and decorations. Just give your children a gentle hint and they might love the idea of decorating the house for mummy's birthday! (unless they're teenage of course in which case I wouldn't expect any interest)

People want banners on their Birthday?

This post sounds familiar.

@Ohwellithappens I think it's more than growing up this was a real sign of appreciation. I've carried it on to show dh and the kids how special they are, but dh doesn't see it as that.

Difference in love languages I guess.

I need to break my association with a fuss on my bday showing me I'm appreciated because tbf dh does his best to show me that all year round. We just do it differently I suppose.

@Berlinlover maybe I've posted on previous bdays too 🤣🤣

I'm joking, I haven't. 😅

Banners? I did that (well actually not a banner, but big balloons) for my kids 16th and 18th, but wouldn't think of doing it normally. But if it's what you want nothing to stop you.
Cake and a few presents and a favourite meal is what we do. My own birthday last month went by pretty much unobserved (no husband), though my kids made me a cake.

I absolutely love a fuss on my birthday and I make a fuss of other people on theirs. I bought lovely reusable birthday bunting, a birthday banner and a birthday party hat.

It’s brought out for all birthdays in our home, no faffing around each birthday and the fabric bunting is truly beautiful.

My wife loves that everything is in one box making it easy and a no fuss way of making a fuss. She only has to get a card and the obligatory caterpillar cake.

I have never ever come across an adult who would want banners and balloons on their birthday! 😂😂😂. My husband will be 70 next week and all he wants to do on his birthday is to go to a nearby racecourse for the day and then for us to have a nice meal out in the evening. he would think I'd lost the plot if I put up banners and balloons 😆😞😞

Children, and special adult birthdays - not every single one. They don't make special banners or birthday cards for non ' special ' birthdays - do they...

Card/s, present/s, meal out/takeaway if that's the family thing, cake if that's the family thing.

I wouldn't bother with banners and balloons, bad for the environment and all that.

I do make the day about what I want though, book theatre tickets to a show I want to see, go to a restaurant I want to go to, buy a cake that I like, give myself a budget and treat myself to things I wouldn't normally buy myself. I'm a single parent so don't have another person to do those things for me but even if I did and they weren't into birthdays I would still do it. DD is autistic and not great at gift giving but is happy to give the gift of quality time with no phone interruptions and to completely do what I want to do on Birthdays and Mother's Day and as she's a teen that's worth it's weight in gold.

How old are your kids? Will they want to do something to make Mums birthday special (i.e. balloons etc)? My kids would - any reason for balloons in this house.

If they want to, and your OH can't help, lay a few strong hints, and place a couple of bags of balloons or banners in a drawer that they can "find by accident".

Doing your own is not right - but lots of hints is perfectly acceptable!

Wow banners seem to have caused a lot of outrage. I totally get this and am on team birthday for sure. Yes, I think unfortunately you have to make your own fun when nobody around you is as bothered about celebrating these things. I tell DP exactly what I want and make plans myself for my birthday and if I get even one surprise I am over the moon. Happy Birthday for Friday love, please do make yourself happy x

I know quite a few adults who have loved ones who decorate and make a fuss if their household members on their bdays.

I don't think you sound like a child at all and there's nothing wrong with enjoying those things.

My closest friend is quite gothic in style and we decorate the house like Halloween for her bday, I go and help her daughter and her mother do it, her dh used to do it but they've split up now, it makes my friend feel very loved and very happy in a way that token cards and gifts don't. She appreciates the cards she gets but it's the decorations that make her feel special because it shows people listen to what she likes and dont make her feel weird for not wanting to celebrate her bday on the way they celebrate theirs.

Another friend has reusable paper decorations and hand sewn banners she puts up for every household members bday and her dh and kids put them up for hers, they all love it and even though it's not something I'd want to do for my own bday, it brings them joy and her photos she sends me look lovely.

Put the banners up and enjoy your bday and don't let anyone make you feel weird for it. I dont like a fuss for myself but if the people I love and care about like banners and balloons, I'll be doing it for them.

I guess if you want to put up banners and balloons on your birthday, and you can afford them without having to forgo any essentials, then go for it! Live the life you want!

do it if you want it. But I would cringe at another adult wanting balloons. And they’re terrible environmentally

Even our cat gets banners put up for his birthday so bar humbug to all you non birthday banner people. 🥳
Yes I would do it myself with the kids. X

Do what brings you joy and never mind the naysayers. If we all lived and enjoyed the same things (or nothing) then the world would be a very dull place. Instead, it is quite a sad and scary place so if these small things bring happinness then do it!

Happy Birthday OP! 🎈hope you have a fun day X

Do what works for you.

Seeing as you asked, I'm not sure you're quite a brat yet, but it does also seem OTT to have banners etc.

It's been a long winter. If banners & balloons will cheer you up, they will probably add as much for your dcs and maybe even your dh. If you have time, why not. Do it.

Enjoy. 🙂

Make the fuss for yourself but also stop making the fuss for your DH. Just match his effort for his birthday, don’t go above and beyond.

And yes, your dc should grow learning to appreciate you on your birthday too.

If you can’t be a brat on your birthday when can you be! Get the banners if they will bring you joy! (And treat yourself to a ballon whilst you are at it!)

The banners thing is strange, Apart from special birthday eg 40, 50 I can't see why you want a banner. But your birthday you do what makes you happy and if a banner, balloons etc helps do it! Happy birthday 🎈 🎈 🎈 🎈