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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

No dinner after 120 mile journey

60 replies

spanieleyes22 · 16/04/2024 16:35

So I travelled to see my sister who is ill and when I got there her dh said to me that he had made spag bol for himself and the 2 kids but that I could have a look in the kitchen and cook something for myself and my sister (who didn't want a dinner as she didn't feel like it)

In the end my sis said to him could I not have the spag bol as well and he said perhaps but that he needed to eat with the kids 8 and 14. So he cooked pasta for them and the 3 of them sat up to the table and had their meal. Then he called me and showed me the uncooked spaghetti and the leftover bol and said I could cook mine.

What do you all
Think

OP posts:
MirageAC · 16/04/2024 19:59

Hi OP, I come from a culture where you feed your guests. It is rude not to. He probably doesn’t want you there.

jeaux90 · 16/04/2024 20:04

He sounds like a controlling, abusive arsehole.

GoodAfternoonGoodEveningAndGoodnight · 16/04/2024 20:06

Yeah that's crap, if he's doing dinner for the others and knows you're there too you'd have thought he'd have done enough for all of you.
YANBU

Floatinginatincan · 16/04/2024 20:21

Well, yep, it was shitty of him, but I wouldn't just sit there. I would have ordered myself a takeaway.

Noseybookworm · 16/04/2024 22:17

It sounds like he doesn't want you there. Is he controlling of your sister? Is he trying to isolate her from her family?

JoniBlue · 16/04/2024 22:21

How rude of him! Greedy pig could have let you have what he cooked for himself, or started another pot of water and toss in some pasta.

spanieleyes22 · 16/04/2024 22:54

Floatinginatincan · 16/04/2024 20:21

Well, yep, it was shitty of him, but I wouldn't just sit there. I would have ordered myself a takeaway.

It's pretty rural where they live I'm not sure they can get deliveries

OP posts:
Gagaandgag · 17/04/2024 00:56

I don’t think you should stop going. I think that’s what he wants. I think go for your sister and keep polite but don’t say much to him. Stay away from him the best you can. But go and be there for her!

spanieleyes22 · 17/04/2024 11:24

My sister is so used to him I do t think she even registers how rude he is. I was there for 2 nights and not once did he ask me anything about myself or my kids . Anyway I need to get him out of my brain. My sister text me today that he is so kind and she loves him. I feel like he gives her a few crumbs and she's so grateful he has come out of the bad mood

OP posts:
Neverthetwainshall · 17/04/2024 18:37

spanieleyes22 · 17/04/2024 11:24

My sister is so used to him I do t think she even registers how rude he is. I was there for 2 nights and not once did he ask me anything about myself or my kids . Anyway I need to get him out of my brain. My sister text me today that he is so kind and she loves him. I feel like he gives her a few crumbs and she's so grateful he has come out of the bad mood

Yeah he's not rude he's abusive, your sister grovelling for crumbs of affection is a red flag, as I've said before ignore the twat but keep supporting your sister she needs you.

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