To ask how into 'stuff' are you?

[Missmarple87]

Seems like a weird question and I'm asking from an impartial position because I find it so intriguing! I suppose I'm also asking because how much we should spend Vs save is a point of discussion in my marriage 😉 .

At a party at the weekend of people all in professional jobs and with decent amounts of disposable income (I know you can't know about people's finances, really, but it's clear most have some cash left over at the end of the month). From conversation it was clear that some really liked 'stuff', ranging from the latest tech to fashion to interiors stuff to cars etc. and that acquisition was important to them. Others clearly weren't into at all - completely genuinely just not bothered (old phones, old cars, old clothes). Others weren't into it as a point of pride e.g. my old car, despite being able to afford a new one, is a status symbol in itself.

Where do you stand on this?

I'm into old charity shop stuff and books and hand me down kinda stuff not tech, new fandangled or mega expensive new car kind of stuff

Not bothered camp. In tech, clothes, cars, interiors everything. Its all just clutter in my book.
I'd be a rubbish lottery winner!

Growing up with a family full of love and no actual money for "stuff" none of it means anything to me. I hold absolutely no value in objects and don't get an urge to buy expensive stuff.

I took exactly what I wanted from the marital home when we divorced, and after I had settled realised that I hadn’t taken sufficient stuff. I had to buy a couple of geegaws to fill the surfaces. Turning up in a shop deliberately trying to buy ornaments was quite stark after a lifetime of just accumulating things like an endless game of Katamari Damancy. It hasn’t built back up into a habit, though, I think there probably is a habitual element to it.

I dont use stuff as status symbol but I like good reasonably priced clothes and shoes and bags but I’m leaning minimalist so have very few things

Dont care about decor, cars, jewerelly

But you bet my nails / hair are always well groomed, I’m clean, smell nice and have good teeth

My BF is into stuff and is also a collector, I always wonder how much money he could have saved throughout his life if he bought half of the stuff he buys

I like stuff and am no natural minimalist. I'm sentimenral and slightly hoardy rather than about status. My wardrobe is pretty full, but a lot of it is old clothes and I keep it full to curtail myself. Being older, I tend to have what I need covered so I buy a lot less than I did in my youth and heady pre-children days.

I've had to learn to let go. One of my relatives hasn't and has a proper hoard problem and this is my cautionary story. I don't want to end up in that state and leave it for my children to deal with the aftermath.

The positive is that I tend to get the maximum life out of things. I've been driving 20 years and am on car 3. I know that I wouldn't cope with the merry-go-round of buying and selling things on, or even buying and doing returns, so I prefer buying things like clothes in person so it's right when I've walked out of the shop.

I like experiences too, and can temporarily manage more basic situations like camping & backpacking. But it's nice to get home to a house with stuff that has personal meaning.

Mostly not bothered, definitely not bothered by trends and latest gear etc, but I do love shopping so always seem to accumulate stuff.
I also have adhd and can very much impulse buy and go through lots of hobbies and "stuff" is usually related to a hobby

I used to be a total shopaholic (mostly clothes and bags). Now I make my own clothes so buy almost none. And I rarely buy bags anymore either (I definitely don't need any more 😂)

Hubs and I are actively trying to reduce the amount of 'stuff' we own. The house is cluttered and there's no real reason for it to be (we're childfree so can't blame any kiddos for it...). We love travelling so would rather spend money on that now.

But I definitely have an element of the 'point of pride' in some cases. My old car was 18 years old when I finally gave it up and I very much hope I can get the same from my 'new' one. Things like cars and most technology just don't interest me.

I imagine most people are somewhere in the middle.

It boils down to your personality & priorities. I genuinely couldn't give a stuff about stuff & am a minimalist. I just see clutter. I enjoy being debt free. I love travel & experiences though. I'd love to travel more comfortably with nicer accommodation etc., but that's about it.

Whereas SIL loves stuff. It MUST have a designer label & she must live at a fashionable address. Cares about making money & being rail thin. Associates only with professional people with designer labels. It's aspiration to be a part of a higher class & the stuff you have, and the 5 star holidays you flash about, are a part of that image.

Just depends what you value.

I don’t really get the comments on clutter. If you have beautiful things indoors, nice clothes or good clothes it doesn’t mean your house is cluttered, any more than if you have a shite toaster, no rugs and bare walls, and walk about in primark clothes using a 20 year old phone?

I bought way too much stuff in my 20s and early 30s, so my house is now full of random tat and clothes no one wears. I’ve stopped buying new stuff but I really need to go through the old stuff and start getting rid of it.

As many have said - some types of stuff, not others. I enjoy planning and researching a larger purchase such as an appliance. I prefer it when I can justify the purchase - e.g. my phone is about 7 years old so I am planning to replace it but as it's still working, I am taking my time over that.

My clothes and books are mostly secondhand. Furniture is secondhand and ancient because the hassle of getting new furniture outweighs the pleasure in my view. Not at all bothered about cars; as long as it works. I like nice jewellery but can't afford anything mega-expensive. Similar for antiques and artwork.

I would never go into debt for 'stuff' and even when it is affordable but not essential, there's a vision of my future self, when I am living off a pension and watching every penny, that stops me spending money recklessly.

I don't buy books either, don't see the point when I can use the library. Cheaper and libraries benefit the community. Plus I don't want loads of books cluttering the place up.

@Janetime I can't speak for others, but for me, 'clutter' can still be things that are new/nice, if there's more stuff than storage space, or if they don't have an obvious home. For example, DH likes buying bike bits and tools, but is bad at tidying them away, and leaves them strewn over the house. They're not junk - he uses them - but they still affect how I feel about my home environment. In turn, it makes me feel less like buying things of my own, because my association is that our house is already full of stuff.

(I'm sure half of MN will be along in a minute to tell me I don't have a clutter problem, I have a DH problem.)

I don't care about 'stuff' as in the latest trends or flashiest etc.

I care about time and about experiences/memories.

So I will spend more on fulfilling dreams etc ?

E.g I'll spend a lot on a holiday to Disney Florida or to Rome, or in travelling to see people etc

I spend a lot on my kids hobbies and on spending time with them doing stuff they like etc

There’s a lot of people talking about valuing “experiences” over things - which is valid if the experience you have in mind is a big holiday, but if the experience you’re dreaming of is being able to play the bagpipes or become a morris dancer, that’s going to involve buying “stuff” (pipes, costume etc).

I’m not sure that this sort of acquisition - if it’s reasonably consistent, not flipping hobbies every three weeks - is worse for the environment than frequent overseas travel.

It’s not like you’re either a hoarder living in chaos, or a minimalist living an ethical lifestyle. Most people are in the middle ground, making a variety of good and bad choices (personally and globally), and I’m not sure it’s helpful to view things as such a simple exercise in virtue.

I also don’t understand some of the posts.

we all have stuff. Everyone has a sofa, or a kettle. It doesn’t make your house cluttered to have nice ones.

I get if you’re skint then it might be a stark choice between a nice set of towels or a day out, but most people in real life choose a mid ground. They are not sitting in empty homes waiting for their next trip out.

I think mindset matters a lot when it comes to stuff and our relationship with stuff.

If someone has a hobby that requires stuff then having that stuff will bring joy and enables them to do something that they value.
Someone else might have lots of keeping up with the Jones stuff, new cars every 2 years, always wanting more and more of items when they have perfectly decent ones at home, having to have a new outfit for every new event, lots of clothes in their wardrobe with tags still on.

Neither person is a hoarder and both of them have stuff, but the relationship with the stuff is probably very different.

The person in the first example has the stuff that makes their life enjoyable and helps them thrive as a person. The person in the second example is likely consuming more and more stuff that they don't need or want because their sense of worth, pride in themselves or self image is tied up in the stuff they have, and it won't matter how much they buy they're never going to be satisfied.

Not a "new shiny stuff" person. We have a second hand car, lots of old clothes and don't buy new things unless the old one breaks and we can't fix it. We spend money on big items like redoing the kitchen when it started falling apart, and other house maintenance i guess. We have small kids though so I hardly consider having nice things (clothes, interiors etc) as it'll be another thing to worry about if they stain it or whatever.

I love finding a good bargain, getting good value for money on second hand items and would rather that than paying for fast fashion.

But if what makes you happy is spending your own money on shiny new things, then I'm happy for you! It's your money, it's your life, and your stuff. Enjoy.

Most of the time I don't care; but when there's something I want I only want that specific item, and its always for a reason.

I'm not into clothes, make up, tech or cars. I don't really enjoy shopping - it's just not something I get much pleasure from.

I like spending money on hobbies for me and the DC (books, sports, music) and eating out. Very happy to pay for a cleaner to save me from the housework!

We have expensive holidays, but that comes from DH more than me.

I'm a good saver and enjoy seeing our savings build up.

@Missmarple87, I don't quite understand your 'point of pride' comment. What's the difference between not getting a new car (even though you can afford one) because you're not bothered about having a new car or not getting a new car as a point of pride? Do you mean they would really like a new one but restrain themselves?

I actively dislike the culture we have of buying too much stuff
It is really bad for the environment
People are just clicking on amazon every other week for the latest gadget to get shipped about in large lorries, then vans just to get sent to land fill a few months later.

The only things we are accumulating these days are tools, power tools, DIY tools, car/bike repair tools, etc! We've a garage and two garden sheds full of the stuff! That's including a scaffolding tower!

That's not because we're DIY enthusiasts intentionally, but because over the years, we're getting more and more fed up with expensive, unreliable, incompetent tradesmen that we're doing more and more ourselves these days. By the time you've phoned up to try to get a tradesmen to come to quote, or to try and book the car in for a repair (usually 2 months away!), and then the time wasted hanging around for them not to turn up to quote, or preparing your room etc for them only for them not to turn up, it's just quicker to do the damn job yourself. Not to mention the mess they leave behind that takes time to rectify or clean up!

Going to need an extension or yet another shed soon though!

At least the house itself is uncluttered and minimalistic!

I'm a traveller lol. Apart from when in this country for work to earn money to travel. Would be quite happy living with the stuff I can fit into my backpack. Rarely buy anything new and get things I need from bootsales more than anywhere else. House looks perfectly ok. I don't care that I haven't spent a fortune or it's not the " latest" gear

@WhiteLeopard Im pretty sure it's a class thing. The actual richest person in the room will look like a tramp and drive the oldest car because the have so much money, they have nothing to prove. Something about shiny new stuff being aspirational. Not necessarily nice, but a very British thing ime.