Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say no to football presentation

43 replies

frecklejuice · 14/04/2024 21:04

I'll try and be brief because it's boring!

Every year ds's football club have a big presentation for all the teams where they dish out awards and there's a bbq etc.. For the last 3 years I've taken him on my own with his younger sister because a "big golf day" always falls on the same date so husband goes to that. I'm sick to death of going on my own and everyone asking if dh is "at golf again" so this year I said I'm not going. Trouble is daughter (9) now plays for same club and it's going to be her first presentation day so guess who's the bad parent for saying they aren't going.

So do I go and suck it up that AH (arsehole husband) gets to go play golf again and I go on my own or do I stick to my plan of not going and upset my daughter? Son is old enough to get dropped off and picked up now.

I'm not going to upset my kids though am I? I'm going to have to go and he gets away with it again.

I'm also not massively sociable and I find it really hard going to things like this on my own.

Not sure what my aibu is because I know I'd be massively unreasonable to not take my daughter, I'm just moaning!!

OP posts:
MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira · 14/04/2024 21:06

Even if your son is old enough to get dropped off, it's a celebration of his success, you should be there. Your husband should too but you can't force him not to be an arsehole, just don't stoop to his level

CatMumBat · 14/04/2024 21:06

Why wouldn't you not want to potentially see one of your children or their team mates win a prize?

CatMumBat · 14/04/2024 21:07

I mean I don't understand why your husband wouldn't want to see that too but one of you should be there.

yeahandno · 14/04/2024 21:08

Surely the kids are being 'punished' twice - once by their dad's lack of interest and then by you. YABU.

Original poster
frecklejuice · 14/04/2024 21:09

Because I'm sick to death of going on my own every single year and feel like I want to put my foot down about dh always getting out of it for fucking golf.

DS won't get a trophy, not sure about dd.

I won't not go when it comes down to it I'm just pissed about it.

OP posts:
missmollygreen · 14/04/2024 21:10

Punishing your kids to get back at dh, nice

Dareisayiseethesunshine · 14/04/2024 21:10

Why not see it as an opportunity to invest in your relationship with your dc? Ime dh will reap what he sows in time. As a pensioner he will be glad he has golf to fall back on when his dc /dgc cba with him...

Stressfordays · 14/04/2024 21:12

Poor kids. They deserve parents who want to watch them win awards. As a lone parent, who does all this stuff alone, it makes me really mad that neither of you care or feel excited about this. Surely you should want to be there?!

HelloMiss · 14/04/2024 21:13

Go CV on your own

Just make sure his golf clubs are accidentally in your car boot....

DDivaStar · 14/04/2024 21:15

Yes you have to do this for your daughter as you have for your son. Then tell Dh he'll have to miss his golf next year and take his turn.

Original poster
frecklejuice · 14/04/2024 21:16

Stressfordays · 14/04/2024 21:12

Poor kids. They deserve parents who want to watch them win awards. As a lone parent, who does all this stuff alone, it makes me really mad that neither of you care or feel excited about this. Surely you should want to be there?!

You're a lone parent so you have to do it alone, I'm not a lone parent and sick of doing this shit on my own. I love watching them win awards but not when I have to spend 6 hours hanging around a field with people I don't know very well.

OP posts:
neverendingcold · 14/04/2024 21:16

The kids will remember who showed up

Boxerdor · 14/04/2024 21:16

I get why you’re pissed off op. The kids will remember who was there though. That’s the important thing. They will remember it was always you, you always showed up for them

Original poster
frecklejuice · 14/04/2024 21:17

DDivaStar · 14/04/2024 21:15

Yes you have to do this for your daughter as you have for your son. Then tell Dh he'll have to miss his golf next year and take his turn.

This is the third year in a row of this happening, he isn't going to miss golf next year unless by some miracle they fall on different dates. Son has been playing for 10 years now and dh has probably been to 4 of them.

OP posts:
neverendingcold · 14/04/2024 21:17

Why on earth does it go on for SIX HOURS?

mitogoshi · 14/04/2024 21:18

I feel your pain (was cricket not golf here)

NoKnit · 14/04/2024 21:18

frecklejuice · 14/04/2024 21:09

Because I'm sick to death of going on my own every single year and feel like I want to put my foot down about dh always getting out of it for fucking golf.

DS won't get a trophy, not sure about dd.

I won't not go when it comes down to it I'm just pissed about it.

I get it OP. My husband constantly gets out of school stuff etc due to work or whatever other reason (sometimes things that can be changed if it pleases him) and it naffs me off. Yes being there for the kids etc etc but let's face it we'd all rather be doing our own stuff or just sitting around at home than be at events like this.

AuntieSoap · 14/04/2024 21:19

It's really important to your kids that they have a parent there. Me and my kids' dad are divorced and I love it when the football presentation falls on my weekend so I get to celebrate with my son. It's precious time.

Original poster
frecklejuice · 14/04/2024 21:20

neverendingcold · 14/04/2024 21:17

Why on earth does it go on for SIX HOURS?

😂 It's an all day thing, teams set up Gazebos and have bbq's or order pizzas then they have presentations and a dj! It goes on so late unless it's raining and then people pack up early. It's really full on and not great when you're trying to make conversation!

OP posts:
Original poster
frecklejuice · 14/04/2024 21:21

Boxerdor · 14/04/2024 21:16

I get why you’re pissed off op. The kids will remember who was there though. That’s the important thing. They will remember it was always you, you always showed up for them

Thanks. I know they will remember and the 15 year old already knows I'm the parent who shows up to stuff, I know deep down I'm going to go I'm just annoyed!

OP posts:
Stressfordays · 14/04/2024 21:22

frecklejuice · 14/04/2024 21:16

You're a lone parent so you have to do it alone, I'm not a lone parent and sick of doing this shit on my own. I love watching them win awards but not when I have to spend 6 hours hanging around a field with people I don't know very well.

Show quote history

Suck it up buttercup. It's for your kids. I don't enjoy standing pitch side every Saturday and Sunday in the cold but I do it with a smile on face and make the most of watching them. They'll know who showed up. Feeling annoyed at your husband is a completely separate emotion to wanting to be there for your kids.

NoKnit · 14/04/2024 21:22

frecklejuice · 14/04/2024 21:20

😂 It's an all day thing, teams set up Gazebos and have bbq's or order pizzas then they have presentations and a dj! It goes on so late unless it's raining and then people pack up early. It's really full on and not great when you're trying to make conversation!

Show quote history

Oh God I feel your pain hate these events. That and most of the time have to bake a cake for same said event. Madness

neverendingcold · 14/04/2024 21:22

frecklejuice · 14/04/2024 21:20

😂 It's an all day thing, teams set up Gazebos and have bbq's or order pizzas then they have presentations and a dj! It goes on so late unless it's raining and then people pack up early. It's really full on and not great when you're trying to make conversation!

Show quote history

Could you leave early?

AbitSceptical · 14/04/2024 21:22

We have those every year. I don’t like them much either.

I just go for an hour or two, watch the presentation and leave. You don’t have to stay for 6 hours but it’s important to show your face if only to thank the coaches, who give up far more of their time than you’re doing.

And yes your DH should go next year.

WhiteLeopard · 14/04/2024 21:23

Who takes them to the matches every week?