To say no to football presentation

[frecklejuice]

I'll try and be brief because it's boring!

Every year ds's football club have a big presentation for all the teams where they dish out awards and there's a bbq etc.. For the last 3 years I've taken him on my own with his younger sister because a "big golf day" always falls on the same date so husband goes to that. I'm sick to death of going on my own and everyone asking if dh is "at golf again" so this year I said I'm not going. Trouble is daughter (9) now plays for same club and it's going to be her first presentation day so guess who's the bad parent for saying they aren't going.

So do I go and suck it up that AH (arsehole husband) gets to go play golf again and I go on my own or do I stick to my plan of not going and upset my daughter? Son is old enough to get dropped off and picked up now.

I'm not going to upset my kids though am I? I'm going to have to go and he gets away with it again.

I'm also not massively sociable and I find it really hard going to things like this on my own.

Not sure what my aibu is because I know I'd be massively unreasonable to not take my daughter, I'm just moaning!!

You're right and I know they will, it's just right now I'm so annoyed about it always being me as much as I love going to their stuff (I always do). Feel like having a full on tantrum and refusing to go but I'll be there as usual quietly seething!

Yeah I get that. Not sure it's any help but my dad said he wished he'd got more involved when I was younger

When I was a child my dad missed all my sports events. Im an adult now and i remember who was there for me. My relationship with my mum is much closer and they both know why.

I understand op - my dh very rarely takes dd to any of her training sessions or awards and it pisses me off but she knows who shows up.
Of course you can be pissed off that it os always you x

Urgh. Feel your pain. These things are awful on your own. Can you take a friend? Also, can you leave AH?

It's great your kids do this. It's great you're the supportive parent. AH is a cunt for this. I hope he's nice otherwise.

I get it OP.
I'm actually on the committee as well.
It's such a shit night.
We're in a function room as well. So sweaty, hot and the kids are all jumped up om sugar.

It's so shit.
Have you told him?
What's been his response?

What does AH say when you point out how selfish and crap he's being? That his children will remember he prioritised himself over them? That you do too, every year? That it makes you love him slightly less each time?

This.

Well, not that I see it as "an investment" - I actually enjoy seeing my dc enjoy events like this, even if it isn't the sort of event I would choose to attend for myself.

The dc will remember who showed up for them.

Also, if it is you that take them to their matches, it is you that will have the shared memories. It is you that will know who their friends are. It is you that will meet their friends' parents. Remember - it is your dh who is missing out, not you.

As a dm to 8 ds's I have invested a fucking lot in our future relationships!!. Only 2 never played...

All part of being a parent 🤷‍♀️

Apparently not for OP's husband. Funny that.

Well. It doesn't seem to be part of being a dad...

Agreed but if he won’t you have to

But why can't he miss golf! Is he a professional? If not, then tough luck he misses it

If he's been to 4 of the possible 10 , that doesn't seem so bad? I

There's no need for both of you to be there anyway.

I sympathise- I used to have to go these events as a divorced parent. My daughter was very into foootball. When I used to attend I would stay for the presentation and then go. These sort of events tend to attract 'happy families' and I found the whole thing quite trying. My daughter was quite happy to go to the main event and disappear after that.

It sounds like a social event that couples go together to.

And 4/10 if she's been to 10/10 and so have the children doesn't sound good.

It sounds like a social event that couples go together to.

Well, if my experience is anything to go by, there will be some people that go as couples. There will be some children who have one parent go. there will also be some children who don't have any parents go.