Was I unfair on the traffic officer?

[Lilllypad11]

I’m posting this full well knowing I was prob being very unfair but I had a huge panic attack last night didn’t sleep well and then had to wake up to go to a service at the temple.

Anyway, I had to get some lunch with my mum after service and I stopped on a double yellow line like lots of others. I was sort of blocked in. The attendant kept pointing at me. Constantly. Then stood next to me. I said I’m blocked in I can’t move wait. Then he just stood there and didn’t move so I said rather loudly “will you please just wait I can’t move for gods sake” he then started saying “look I’ll just give you a ticket at this point” so I then reversed into a bay well away from the yellow line. He said “NO YIU CANT BE THERE it’s near the yellow line” I then said rather loudly “look I’m waiting for someone I’m not where near the yellow line please just give me a minute. They haven’t got their phone I can’t call them and this is a dodgy area” he then said flippantly and rudely “look I’ll just give you a ticket” and started waving his device at me. so at this point I’m stressed, overstimulated, tired and my adhd brain can’t take any more and I lost it and said “you really don’t need to take your job this seriously you know. There’s really no need to be such a jobsworth. I was parked in a bay and not obstructing because I was waiting”

anyway I had to move into the temple car park in the end then I felt like a complete a hole for behaving like that in front of a temple. I’m not even religious it’s just I still have respect.

how much of an a hole have I been

A total arsehole. He was just doing his job
Don't use your ADHD as an excuse for shitty behaviour, its not a good look.

You parked on double yellows
You claimed you were blocked in
You weren't, you moved
You abused someone doing an unpopular but necessary job, probably has a mortgage and kids to feed
You behaved like an arsehole
I hope you got a ticket

At least attempt to get your story straight. Either you couldn’t move the car at all because there were cars in front of and behind you, or you could move into a bay.

If you couldn’t move, why were the other cars not getting ticketed. If you could move, why did you park there in the first place.

Why do some people feel that they’re entitled to park in no parking areas, just because?

Parents wait on the double yellows near the college where I work and it makes traffic a fucking nightmare. I’m sure they think it’s ok because they’re just waiting for someone but the lines are there for a reason - because they reduce the road to one lane and it all backs up and causes knock on problems for about half a mile in every direction. There’s plenty of places to wait a just a short walk away so I just can’t understand it.

"I'm waiting for someone and they don't have a phone".....like that's a good enough reason to be parked on double yellows! People thinking they're special and rules shouldn't apply to them are a lot of what's wrong with this country.

You don't sound safe to be driving if you get so hot headed

And expect traffic control to turn a blind eye??

I think the way that people treat people who work in shops, restaurants and other ‘low paid’ jobs says an awful lot about them. I judge anyone who is rude to or badly treats people doing broadly thankless jobs for little pay very harshly.

I live in front of a temple and people with the same mentality as you park not only in our driveway but in front of it too. It's infuriating.

This was an area with no housing. It was just the back of a temple and derelict building. He asked me to move. A car was backing out so I couldn’t. Then I moved into an area that became free as it was a bay and I went into that but the front bumper was near the yellow line and he wouldn’t let me, so I did lose my temper but admittedly he was getting rather aggressive about things with me clicking his fingers at me. I suppose I’ll reflect and it’s not a reflection of me as a person it’s just I’m mentally not great right now and I mistreated someone and I shouldn’t have but I’m aware of this.

Was the front bumper over the yellow line by even a bit?

I don't see why you couldn't just have waited in the car park.

You know you were wrong. Are you expecting sympathy?

Don't make excuses for your crappy words and behaviour.

How close to the yellow line could your front bumper have been if you were parked in a bay? Were you properly in a bay?

It sounds as though you were an arsehole and know you were.

Don't really follow the bit about being blocked in on the yellow line - if you were blocked in, presumably he was also ticketing/threatening to ticket the cars blocking you in?

If he followed you after you had moved and you were properly parked in a bay, that is a bit off, though I did think that once they have started issuing the ticket, they can't rescind it, so perhaps that's what happened?

Being polite, friendly, apologetic for being in the wrong - probably would have resulted in him acting differently. Instead you were defensive, making excuses and then ultimately berating him.

If the temple is so close to where the food place was, why did you even drive (to the double yellows) from the car park?

I think their job is difficult enough without people being difficult. You know not to park on double yellow lines.
It really grates on me when people talk about jobsworths when someone is just doing their job. I work in a park where people park illegally, block access and complain when they are asked to move. What they don't know is we are waiting for an ambulance as someone has fallen over. They are 'only going to be there 10 mins' but the ambulance can't get through!

Yes of course you were being unreasonable. He’s doing his job and you know you can’t park on double yellows.
I get you feel bad about it. Own it and admit you were well out of order to argue.

You say he was being aggressive by clicking his fingers at you. I'm not sure how that's aggressive but if he came and gave his account that he was also ADHD, had had a long day of people shouting at him for just doing his job, would you accept that as an excuse for his "aggression"

YABU - or YTA depending on which forum you'd prefer an answer from.

Yup. Big old arsehole I'm afraid. You knew you were in the wrong and got flustered because you were called out on it. No excuse you should have just moved and you damn well know it.

Be polite to people just doing their jobs; it's their job not a life long vocation.

Well done OP. A person was doing their job, and seems to have given you some leeway. It's good that you are rethinking your attitude.

This! You obviously weren’t blocked in and were just making excuses cuz you couldn’t be bothered to move.

In answer you your question you were a complete a hole to him. Insulting his job!

Anyone can be a nice person when things are going badly. We show who we really are when things go against us, and especially when faced with someone in a service industry - who many people view as a punching bag for their own frustrations.

Far from not being a reflection of who you are as a person, OP, this incident has shown EXACTLY who you are, so please bear that in mind as you reflect.

So you think the problem isn't your wrongdoing of parking on double yellows, it's that the person who's job it is to ticket those they see doing that was going to ticket you?
So you were rude to them.

Why didn't you just park in the carpark in the first place? That's what it's there for.

And if your ADHD means you can't keep to the rules of the road, I suggest you surrender your licence. ADHD is not an excuse.

YABU, especially for the reflex invocation of alleged ADHD as an excuse for bad behaviour. So many people on MN seem to assert either ADHD or ASD (or the menopause) as the reason for more-or-less any characteristic that they want either an excuse for or sympathy for. It has become ridiculous. It must make it so hard for the recognition of the genuine difficulties related to genuine diagnoses.

Sorry, but yes. You were. You were parked for your convenience, some where you shouldn't have been. You got called out on it, and then were unable/ incapable of moving the car. You then doubled down and acted like a bit of an arse to a man who was trying to do his job- which is to fine people parked inappropriately, which you were. Which doesn't make him a jobsworth, it's just a bloke doing his job