WIBU to have asked this date to leave?

[PlumPavlova]

I travelled to another city yesterday and had booked a hotel. Saw a friend early afternoon for some shopping. Then I met up with someone I'd been speaking to on a dating app.

She was larger than her photos showed. Fine, not a dealbreaker in itself.
We went to the bar. I got a GnT. She ordered a double rum straight up and a pint of "the strongest lager you have".
We had another round of the same.

I was already feeling off however on the way to hotel (to drop some stuff and go straight back out) she bought a bottle of wine (to avoid having to pay for drinks in bars).

At the hotel she poured a large glass of wine into a tumbler and topped it up with red bull 😧.
She then tried to convince me not to out but to stay in the hotel room for the rest of the evening.
At this point I told her I was very uncomfortable with her drinking and that we were clearly on very different pages and I didn't want the date to continue.

I tried to be supportive and give her the chance to talk about her (obvious) issues but she just kept shaking her head.
She left. I offered to call her a taxi but she declined.
I went out and this morning saw that I had 3 missed calls and 19 whatsapp messages from her.

It wasn't nerves btw as she herself said she didn't view it as a first date but rather us "finally meeting" after a few months of chatting.

She seemed very normal before yesterday. Very intelligent with a professional job etc.

WIBU?

Red flags everywhere, you were right to ditch.

Umm being a total pisshead that gets wasted on a first date isn't a red flag to you??

You don't have to continue something that is making you feel uncomfortable.

Getting drunk like that is a huge turn off for me too.

Also people should put up clear photos. Apart from anything else, why risk humiliation face to face? I'm really fat. If I was dating I would rather show people what I actually look like because I can't imagine showing up to a blind date and risking them nope the fuck out of there.

To be honest if anyone ordered "a pint of the strongest lager" you have then that would've been the last drink I had with them.

If you’re a man (it’s not clear from your OP) you were doubly right to wrap things up when you did. You could have left yourself open to a nefarious accusation if you’d stayed drinking with her.

Regardless of sex, any of the following would have made me run for the hills:
Real life not reflecting photo/description/age
Ordering two drinks at once
Pressure of ‘we finally get to meet!’ as opposed to just a get-to-know
Getting very drunk very quickly
Pushiness to go back to your hotel
Smuggling in drink
Adding Red Bull to anything!

Bullet dodged.

You did the right thing. She sounds like she was warming up to being an absolute nightmare.

Hope your next date is more your speed

Eek! Lucky escape 😬 just block and move on OP! You dealt with the situation openly and kindly by the sounds of it but you were right to call an end to what sounds like a pretty awful date.

Because she posted photos of her not looking so large, misrepresenting herself.

That's quite funny sorry 😆

"Hope your next date is more your speed"

Erm, she was 👀🤭🤣

This. I've been OLD and the amount of people who clearly use older photos, lie about their age/size/height is ridiculous. People say 'But you wouldn't find me attractive if you knew the truth' are also being ridiculous. When I find out the truth, I still don't find you attractive and know I know you're a liar too which is even less attractive!!

Something being 'not a dealbreaker' might be something that's not great on its own but you can look past, but when combined with some other behaviour becomes part of a picture that you don't want to deal with. Seems like that's the case here. Lying about appearance to get a date is not great but the OP may have found her physically attractive anyway; but combine the lying with the drinking and it becomes a personality trait the OP doesn't like at all.

Wow Malbec and red bull, that’s disgusting. I think you did the right thing, know your boundaries and stay within them,

Yanbu.
What did her messages say?

I think it is to make a point that she didn't look like her pictures and therefore, potentially deceived him already. Which is a problem in itself.

She misled you about her appearance and presumably about her levels of drinking (by omission if nothing else). I’d have found this a turn off.

Definitely not unreasonable. You've dodged a bullet there.

I would have left after the first round as I dislike heavy drinking, so you're not wrong there!

Bloody hell malbec and red bull !

I’m also curious what her messages said.

I think it does. She misled the op to her appearance. And admitted It.

Because even though it might be ‘fine’ and not a dealbreaker per se, it is a small element of unease. That she deliberately manipulated the image of herself and chose to send misleading pics. Whatever the nature of the misleading-ness.

Elements of unease or doubt accumulate.

@Fiery30 the OP is a woman.

Malbec........and Red Bull

I like a drink but jeez. Don't give it another thought, you did the right thing.

I wouldn’t give it another thought. Next time, don’t waste months chatting to someone you haven’t met, who turns out not to look like her photos and has a drink problem.