Is this a fair division of chores?

[SmokeyWigwams]

Parent 1 works full time, 4 days a week at home and 1 in the office.
Parent 2 stays at home.

In the morning, parent 1 gets the toddler up, washed and dressed. Parent 2 gets breakfast for everyone and washes it up.
Parent 2 does most daily household chores (cooking, shopping, cleaning).
Parent 1 washes up after dinner and does the 1 year old's full bedtime routine (bath, pyjamas, story, teeth...). Parent 1 also deals with the bins, all DIY and quite a lot of household admin.

YANBU - sounds fair
YABU - not fair

Parent 1 should not be doing most of the daily chores if parent 2 doesn’t work.

Ok I've messed this up, one sec

There, it's correct now!

Edited as I cross posted

OP are you parent 2 and so tired of doing everything you've mixed up parent 1 and 2?

I messed it up - should be correct now. Parent 2 does most of the daily household chores. Parent 1 does child's morning and evening routine, DIY, bins and household admin.

What do you mean by most household chores? What happens at weekends? How much free time do you both get?

Parent 1 is doing more than I'd expect. Both parents should share 1 year old's bedtime routine, bins, DIY and household admin.

Does toddler go to nursery? What happens in the day?

Parent one does too much, there should be a 50/50 split between getting the toddler up and putting them to bed, otherwise parent one gets precious little downtime.

It's not great that parent two does all the household chores, basically being household servant, one or two of these chores should be handed over to parent one, and parent one should hand over one or two of the admin tasks to parent two, so that they can "enjoy" some of the administrative responsibility :)

The child is with parent 2 during the day, no nursery or childminder.

By that I meant food shopping, cleaning, cooking, laundry, gardening...

Parent 2 actually volunteered to do the toddler's morning/evening routines, but Parent 1 wants to do it because otherwise they don't get much time with their child before and after work.

Yeah as above, toddler routines should be 50/50 split so that each parent gets an evening of downtime. Otherwise it sounds about right - I'm home with a toddler and baby and do the jobs that crop up during the day such as food shopping and hoovering etc.. At the weekend we split it. We also have a cleaner once a fortnight.

Parent 1 does too much - they get the toddler up and ready in the morning, work full time then have to do everything for the toddler again up until they fall asleep?

If Parent 2 doesn't work they should doing all of the childcare on Parent 1's work days as I'm guessing childcare is the reason they don't work?

I'm don't work (my choice, I wanted to stay at home and look after DC myself) so I do all childcare, most of the cleaning, laundry, bins and all the cooking. DP works full time is responsible for gardening, DIY and cars. We share the admin 50/50 and DP does his own ironing as I don't do it to his standards!

I think you are parent 1 and you think you do too much?

I think it sounds about right. Parent 2 could do the admin whilst parent 1 does night time routine.
I get that parent 1 wants to spend time with toddler, so as long as parent 2 is doing 'something' at the same time admin/household, then it sounds about right.
You can't really include diy as this is not a job you can do with a toddler so if one parent is doing diy the other parent is automatically on childcare duty, so, evens.

Cross Post - if Parent 1 is happy to get toddler up and put them to bed then it sounds a fair division to me.

Parent 2 should do the bins and perhaps the admin could be shared?

But whilst P1 is getting toddler up in the morning P2 is making breakfast and clearing up after for everyone. P2 can't do butt breakfast and getting toddler up at the same time. Presume P1 prefers to do toddler over breakfast otherwise P1 never sees toddler.
Ditto in the evening. If P1 doesn't do nighttime bedtime routine P2 has toddler all day and evening. P1 doesn't get to spend any time with toddler at all

I think every morning and evening routine is a bit much for person 1 who works full time. It sounds like parent 2 gets to clock off after eating dinner and therefore gets more rest time.

There's a lot of other information that would affect my opinion though... Like is the child easygoing or demanding, do they still nap, do they sleep all night, is person 1 getting up earlier than person 2 (and how early), what happens at weekends, is there an unusual amount of housework, does person 1 do any other looking after of the child or just those set tasks and then handing them over...

I can imagine situations where either person could justifiably feel hard done by and I think trying to split down time equally might be the best approach.

Thing is. There's no 'one size fits all' and it depends if you're both happy with it.

When I had a toddler (and a partner). He worked full time, out of the house. I was a SAHM.
He used to get DS up and fed before work. This was his idea as I was the one up in the night with DS, plus I was pregnant and had horrendous SPD which kept me awake and morning sickness.
I did most of the housework during the day, as much as I could around a toddler anyway. I cooked.

Then we alternated who washed up and who did the bedtime routine. Weekends we alternated who got up first and spent the day doing what needed doing with no strict split in who did what.

This worked really well until we had DS2. Ex then decided he wouldn't do mornings, or bedtimes. Or wash up. Oh and although we were meant to alternate lay-ins at the weekend, his lay-in day meany me getting up as soon as dc were awake so he could sleep.

Mine meant me amusing DC in our bed until he woke up, then him amusing them in our bed until he could be bothered to go downstairs. So not a lie-in for me then.

Like is the child easygoing or demanding, do they still nap, do they sleep all night

The child has one nap in the day, usually about an hour. They sleep all night usually. If they wake up, we take it in turns to go to them. But DD is very clingy and doesn't really play on her own, she needs a lot of stimulation and attention so it's hard to do anything while looking after her.

person 1 getting up earlier than person 2 (and how early)
Parent 1 goes to get the toddler when she wakes up, and puts her on the potty. Parent 2 stays in bed for like 5ish minutes while they do this, then parent 2 goes downstairs to make breakfast while parent 1 gets DD ready.

what happens at weekends
At weekends things are pretty even... parent 1 is more likely to be looking after the toddler while parent 2 does chores. But generally we'll all try and go out together to relax at the weekends.

I think it’s hard to split chores like this; our approach is whatever gives us equal downtime

It doesn't seem a bad split overall to be honest. I can see P1 wanting the morning and evening time with the toddler given working during the day.

P1 and P2 are basically "working" the same hours during the week by that description so the only thing I think seems unbalanced is household admin as that can only really be done in evenings, when toddler naps or when the other parent is covering the toddler at the weekend so I think that could potentially be split more evenly.

The main thing for me in the full on toddler years is that you play to your strengths and both parents get some downtime. If both parents are happy with the split then it's all good. If one of them isn't then a conversation is needed. It's all about the comms and being on roughly the same page.