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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

….to think that anxiety is an evil fucker and if we all share hatred for it….

88 replies

BabbleBee · 13/04/2024 18:04

….then I’ll feel better?

I’m having a flare of anxiety. Not coping with illness and minor change. I’ve started taking propranolol, all the usual coping mechanisms. That horrible knot in my stomach and nausea is refusing to budge.

I fucking hate anxiety. Anyone else want to slag it off and help me feel better about how fucking inconvenient and horrible it is?

OP posts:
Fallenangelofthenorth · 13/04/2024 18:06

Oh God yes I agree. Feeling exactly the same myself today.

Original poster
BabbleBee · 13/04/2024 18:08

I’m sorry you’re in the same space as me @Fallenangelofthenorth it’s fucking horrible isn’t it. None of my usual coping mechanisms are working or I can do because I’m unwell. Argh!

What usually works for you?

OP posts:
Cadela · 13/04/2024 18:10

Yes anxiety is horrendous. Mind spiralled out of control when I suddenly developed epilepsy 2 years ago and the not knowing when I’m going to have a seizure has not been fun.

Also on propranolol, pragabalin and clobazam which the latter 2 also double as anti-seizure meds but doesn’t help a lot.

Currently on longest waitlist ever for useless CBT which I know doesn’t help, but GP won’t refer me until I’ve done it. Sick of it all!

Fallenangelofthenorth · 13/04/2024 18:12

Propranolol takes the edge off. I try and remind myself that the fear isn't real and all will be well. Today I'm watching back to back Benidorm to try and distract myself. Nothing works long term though. Or hasn't so far.

Original poster
BabbleBee · 13/04/2024 18:15

I’ve got friends on Netflix. Currently in bed with chest infection. Can’t walk it off or scrub the bathroom to get rid of anxious evergy. Can’t do deep breathing exercises. So frustrating… repeating over and over that anxiety isn’t fact. I’m ok. I’m safe. It’s exhausting.

OP posts:
MonsteraMama · 13/04/2024 18:17

It's so crap. Sometimes I want to pull my brain out and politely explain to it that I am sending a work email, not fleeing for my life from a wolf, and I do not need the monkey brain fight or flight response right now.

Fallenangelofthenorth · 13/04/2024 18:18

It is. We waste so much of our life worrying about shit that doesn't even happen. I've got a coach at the moment which has helped a bit but I'm starting a new job soon and the feelings of inadequacy and fear of failure have really come back with a vengeance. I'm gonna cut out alcohol for a bit as I think that definitely makes things worse

Original poster
BabbleBee · 13/04/2024 18:20

Alcohol and anxiety definitely don’t mix. I’ve had my worst panic attacks after a couple of glasses of wine so I don’t have any now.

The whole irrational fight or flight response is so unnecessary.

OP posts:
Min16 · 13/04/2024 18:29

Yep I stupidly ignored my worsening MH over the last few years and now have regular panic attacks and leaving the house is an ordeal. Been signed off work and prescribed antidepressants. I want my life back! Fuck you anxiety

Noshowlomo · 13/04/2024 18:31

It’s shit sooooo shit. I’m anxious as fuck today and got major health anxiety about my son (I’ve got PTSD from my daughters stillbirth) and often, like today, I carry this ball of anxiety around and it’s so heavy. I hate it. It’s not real and should just fuck off

Original poster
BabbleBee · 13/04/2024 18:34

Min16 · 13/04/2024 18:29

Yep I stupidly ignored my worsening MH over the last few years and now have regular panic attacks and leaving the house is an ordeal. Been signed off work and prescribed antidepressants. I want my life back! Fuck you anxiety

Fuck you anxiety indeed!

Fuck off to the far side of fuck and leave @Min16 alone anxiety you nasty little fucker.

OP posts:
ssd · 13/04/2024 18:34

I've just started reading At Last A Life which i seen recommended on here as great for anxiety. Ive only started but the premise seems to be dont fight anxiety, just let it run its course and it'll loose its powerful the more you stop fighting it. Or something like that, as i said im just at the beginning.

Ive tried everything else. The book says to stop trying.

Original poster
BabbleBee · 13/04/2024 18:35

Noshowlomo · 13/04/2024 18:31

It’s shit sooooo shit. I’m anxious as fuck today and got major health anxiety about my son (I’ve got PTSD from my daughters stillbirth) and often, like today, I carry this ball of anxiety around and it’s so heavy. I hate it. It’s not real and should just fuck off

I think mine is probably PTSD after one of mine had a serious illness. I’m so sorry for your loss - would you like to tell us your DD’s name?

OP posts:
Noshowlomo · 13/04/2024 18:38

@BabbleBee thank you. Her name is Patti. She was born in 2017. I’ve never had anxiety like it since, more so since getting pregnant with my son and now around his health. He’s 5 so constantly ill from school but my mind and google take me to such dark places. It’s shit. Fuck you anxiety, you are not real and not wanted !!
Hope you feel a bit lighter tomorrow @BabbleBee , sometimes I do after a good sleep x

DanielGault · 13/04/2024 18:39

No, it's all in your head etc 🙄 it's awful, it's life limiting, it's a bitch to to try and manage.

spiderlight · 13/04/2024 18:44

It's ruined so much of my life and now it's trying to get its nasty little claws into my sweet, lovely teenager as well. It's a slippery, lying little bastard, and it lies to you in your own voice to make you believe it. 'Hate' is nowhere near strong enough a word for how I feel about it.

DS bought me this book recently, which I hope will help me to reframe things in my head and see if I can have a more constructive relationship with it. I've not been in the right headspace to get properly into it though.

DanielGault · 13/04/2024 18:47

spiderlight · 13/04/2024 18:44

It's ruined so much of my life and now it's trying to get its nasty little claws into my sweet, lovely teenager as well. It's a slippery, lying little bastard, and it lies to you in your own voice to make you believe it. 'Hate' is nowhere near strong enough a word for how I feel about it.

DS bought me this book recently, which I hope will help me to reframe things in my head and see if I can have a more constructive relationship with it. I've not been in the right headspace to get properly into it though.

So sorry for you both. Hope you can get a handle on it x

Original poster
BabbleBee · 13/04/2024 18:53

Noshowlomo · 13/04/2024 18:38

@BabbleBee thank you. Her name is Patti. She was born in 2017. I’ve never had anxiety like it since, more so since getting pregnant with my son and now around his health. He’s 5 so constantly ill from school but my mind and google take me to such dark places. It’s shit. Fuck you anxiety, you are not real and not wanted !!
Hope you feel a bit lighter tomorrow @BabbleBee , sometimes I do after a good sleep x

Edited

Beautiful little Patti 💞

It’s weird isn’t it how you’re expected to just move on from that pain once you’re seen to be in a “better” position. Once DD had all her treatment it felt like I was supposed to be floating around full of joy, but I was actually completely shell shocked and terrified.

I couldn’t sleep at all last night, every time I started to drop off the anxiety spiked. I just needed to rest.

OP posts:
Original poster
BabbleBee · 13/04/2024 18:54

spiderlight · 13/04/2024 18:44

It's ruined so much of my life and now it's trying to get its nasty little claws into my sweet, lovely teenager as well. It's a slippery, lying little bastard, and it lies to you in your own voice to make you believe it. 'Hate' is nowhere near strong enough a word for how I feel about it.

DS bought me this book recently, which I hope will help me to reframe things in my head and see if I can have a more constructive relationship with it. I've not been in the right headspace to get properly into it though.

It’s awful watching someone else go through it too. We deserve better. The only thing I’ve ever been able to say that’s good about having experienced anxiety is the ability to support and love someone else through it without any doubt or over-expectation.

OP posts:
Idontknowwhatsgoingonanymore · 13/04/2024 19:31

Anxiety can fuck itself up the arse and fuck right off into fuckdom come!!

Sufferer for 20 years, mine is health anxiety. Absolutely convinced I've got/will get some form of cancer yet have a massive fear of going to the Dr. Fear of blood pressure machines so mine is always high, fear of hospitals or anything medical

Nearly lost my daughter at 4 days old when she stopped breathing, she's now 9 but I compulsively check her at night because I'm so scarred from that experience

CBT is beyond shit and does nothing.

Dr's won't refer for anything else which is so unfair, they just want to medicate (I do take medication). Anxiety needs more, if it was a physical illness they'd do loads but it's just ignored or we're told to "get some exercise and have a good diet". Fuck. Off!!!

I could rant about this until the cows come home (then I'd say fuck off cows, I'm not done!!)

Sending huge hugs to all those affected

imforeverblowingbuttons · 13/04/2024 19:52

I've had CBT, therapy and hypnotherapy to manage my anxiety. I do mindfulness now. The best way to manage it (and this is significantly harder than it sounds). Is to accept it as you except a neutral or positive bodily reaction to emotions. If you accept it and watch your thoughts it calms it.

Breath helps too, shallow breathing can cause some of the symptoms of anxiety so breathing in for 4, hold 6 and out 8.

Gratitude helps if we can focus on what we are grateful for it can helps us feel more content in life.

peachgreen · 13/04/2024 19:54

It wasn’t until I went on fluoxetine for PND that I realised the extent to which anxiety controlled and ultimately ruined my life. I feel like a different person now and I cannot believe I allowed myself to live that way for so many decades. I was scared that if my anxiety went away, the worst would happen. The truth is, even when the worst did happen, without the anxiety I was able to deal with it.

peachgreen · 13/04/2024 19:55

Also I should say that before fluoxetine I tried multiple other medications including other SSRIs. None of them worked for me. I feel so lucky that I managed to hit on the right one.

CanaryMary · 13/04/2024 19:55

Another sufferer here. I’ve had panic attacks ocd and health anxiety and it’s absolutely horrendous and debilitating at times!

if I’m ill it seems worse too!

I have found some things that have/do helped
acceptance! Accept that your anxious/panicy or whatever the fear is and.
Tell yourself that you accept your thoughts and the feelings
that they are just feelings in reaction to your thoughts and not really harmful.
and repeat that you accept them and that you don’t need to do nothing and That they can just be there.
this might not help everyone but it did me because I had ocd I think this was helpful

also try to get to the bottom of your biggest fear and ask how likely is it to happen and ifcan you control the future?
so we know we can’t control the future - so it’s also about accepting the lack of control and another helpful thing was the word -FEAR 🟰 future events arnt real!!
this helps me sometimes when my mind starts spiralling worrying about future events that haven’t happened and usually don’t!

im sorry if this is useless to some of you suffering , but if its helps anyone out then ill be glad. Im sorry to hear about some of your past traumas and sad losses/ illnesses
ptsd is horrible and I think there should be more help I don’t know what to suggest but hope some others can come on and advise something x

AnxieTeapot · 13/04/2024 21:20

I'm sorry you're struggling, I am with you 💐.

Slagging it off sounds like a good idea - I'm going to do it in the style of my young children as it is highly effective. Anxiety is the worst mum ever.