….to think that anxiety is an evil fucker and if we all share hatred for it….

[BabbleBee]

….then I’ll feel better?

I’m having a flare of anxiety. Not coping with illness and minor change. I’ve started taking propranolol, all the usual coping mechanisms. That horrible knot in my stomach and nausea is refusing to budge.

I fucking hate anxiety. Anyone else want to slag it off and help me feel better about how fucking inconvenient and horrible it is?

Anxiety is an emotion, it's part of you - it's not something external to you.

Imagine anxiety as a small child that's been scared by something in the past, which it remembers all too well. It's holding your hand and starts by whispering "I'm scared, mum". If you ignore it, or tell it not to be stupid, or to fuck off, it will start to raise it's voice until it's screaming at you and it will do whatever is necessary to drag you away from the perceived danger - hence the typical 'flight or fight' physical response of stomach upsets, rapid breath, lightheadedness, etc.

So, how to deal with it? Be the parent. When you feel anxious, remind yourself that you are an adult, you can cope with whatever life throws at you and that you have the experience, the knowledge and the resources to deal with the situation.

This analogy might help.

When a mother struggles to get her child to go to sleep because the child says there’s a monster under the bed, does the mother quickly grab the child and rush out of the house calling the police to deal with the monster? Of course not! That’s because the mother knows there isn’t a monster and that those fears are the fears of a child. Whilst we can easily understand why the child has those fears, we recognise they aren’t necessary.

Listen to what your anxiety is telling you, but use your logic to decide if it's true or whether you can safely reassure yourself that it's not going to happen, or that you will cope - as you have done before. Always be kind to your mind.

This sounds wierd asf but when I have days that my anxiety is really bad I find watching police interrogations strangely calming, almost like I feel more relaxed knowing at least I'm not facing life in prison or something 😂😭 anxiety sucks arse, it's horrendous, you have my sympathies.

Great post @Eyesopenwideawake

@Idontknowwhatsgoingonanymore I have the BP phobia too. It’s ridiculous. I’m slightly better at the docs with the old manual equipment but I still panic. It has meant I can’t take the HRT I was prescribed because I had a slightly high reading and they wanted me to monitor it at home but I just can’t. That means they (understandably) won’t reissue it so there’s no point in me starting it. DH has to keep an eye on his BP and as soon as he gets the monitor out I start feeling panicky.

I have anxiety and OCD, both of which are evil fuckers.

I don't know if you're looking for solutions OP, but mirtazipine has changed my life. After the pandemic and and absolutely shitty situation courtesy of a former employer, who shall remain nameless, I couldn't sleep, eat, or leave the house without checking the sockets and lock seven billion times.

Its been a bit of a miracle drug for me. I feel like a new woman.

I’m on propanolol too in relation to anxiety surrounding having epilepsy. I’ve been on it for just over 3 years but I’m still anxious most days. I’ve done three courses of CBT (all slightly different to each other) but it’s made no difference. l told my GP that unless a cure for epilepsy is found then no amount of breathing exercises or pills are going to stop my anxiety.

It’s really crap and I’ve resolved myself to the fact that neither my epilepsy or my anxiety are going anywhere 😢

Ah, shit. I am sorry so many of you are suffering with this.

So sorry for the loss of beautiful little Patti.

Mine is really bad at the moment. I have PTSD from a near death experience a few years ago, lost my partner to a brain tumour (now remarried but it doesn't just disappear), and I am just scarred by it.

I had a difficult pregnancy last year, fortunate enough to have a beautiful eight month old daughter. But my blood pressure etc was all over the place and I now also have the phobia of blood pressure and having any kind of medical checks.

We've all been what feels like recurrently ill for weeks now, and it's spiking my health anxiety no end. I'm just randomly bursting into tears, I've gone back to work full-time (husband is currently SAHP), we have three older children and I just feel like I'm drowning. Oh, and I have ADHD.

Sorry, that was such a vent! I feel utterly pathetic for feeling this way but I know that's just me being cruel to myself.

Yes I hate anxiety more than any other of my issues. It's just so unpleasant. It makes every tiny little thing unpleasant. And it's so bloody unnecessary. It's like an annoying friend that keeps turning up when you least need him and have got a million things to do and absolutely don't have time to deal with him and he sits for hours in your house slowly sipping cups of tea and eating all your biscuits. And he never just shuts up.😡

Just popping on quickly to say, yes, anxiety is the worst and also I would highly highly recommend the book:

Anxiety Rx by Russell Kennedy.

truly truly helpful (in my, and many others, opinion!)

Big hugs to you all. It’s so hard ❤️

I suffer badly from anxiety and it’s the worst. I feel so anxious about every single work meeting that I have. I have to present 2 projects I’ve been working on to a big boss and his team at the end of the week and I just can’t stop thinking about it and feel sick. Especially as I think I haven’t been doing it correctly.

Thank you everyone for sharing their experiences and coping mechanisms.

On the whole I manage really well. Acceptance was a big step forward for me, and on a daily basis I’m either high functioning or it’s just not there.

I’m waiting to be assessed for ADHD and autism, I suspect this is a massive part of how I feel.

Sometimes the little fucker just pops up out of nowhere with no warning on days like yesterday. I can’t take any SSRIs and have to be careful of antidepressants in general thanks to serotonin syndrome. Propranolol has worked well in the past so I’ll take that regularly again over the next few days.

I am so, so done with it though. I agree with the PP who said if this was a physical condition a lot more would be done about it. Mental health illness is brushed over too frequently. Anxiety isn’t the problem, there’s an underlying source and until that’s fixed then it’s going nowhere.

@HÆLTHEPAIN

Can you remember when/why this started? At the moment your BP phobia isn't life threatening so the part of your mind that fires up the fear of it is 'winning' - it doesn't want to do this thing, and by not doing it it's reinforcing the idea that it's something to be really afraid of.

Now you know, rationally, that taking your BP can't hurt you so it's either a matter of finding, and dealing with, that root cause OR telling that part of your mind "we are going to do this whether you like it or not so you'd better get used to it". I've used the second option with someone with a terrible phobia of needles who ran out of avoidance options when they were diagnosed with cancer.

Good thread! Anxiety is the pits.
It's ruined too many days already. Anxiety go AWAY!!!!

I’m going through a better phase at the moment, but my anxiety started during lockdown. Looking back I can see now how I was obsessing over the news, deaths reported etc. I felt so scared for my children. Then my Dad got cancer and died and work got really stressful.

Anyway, my coping technique if I can’t exercise is watching YouTube videos of people going for walks in the snow, in the rain or on a beach. I love those. And I’ve tried tapping which helps a bit too.

Big sympathy to all those suffering. My DH doesn’t understand and just says “what have you got to be anxious about?” as if I can just turn it off.

That's just it isn't it? You can't just switch it off.nit really sucks.

DD put her weighted blanket around me last night and we popped bubbles on a game on the iPad. Combination of that and propranolol helped me.

I definitely think it helps to engage the rational brain when feeling anxious, like reciting times tables or something. A nurse friend told me to do it once and it helped a lot.

I woke up feeling fine, then coughing again (current chest infection) which made me feel a bit breathless. Without missing a beat I catastrophised and panicked about having to go into hospital. There’s a lot tied up in that fear following DD’s cancer.

I’m fighting back by getting on with my day. Yes anxiety you’re there, I see you. But I’m in charge, not you. You can sit quietly and follow me around all day if you must but you are NOT telling me what to do. I don’t need this information right now, I’m safe. Thank you for the warning but we’re all good. Shush.

So sorry for your loss. My dad is unwell at the moment, it’s heartbreaking watching parents getting older.

Can j ask how old you are? I've always suffered (have OCD and PTSD) but my anxiety started to spiral out of control in my early forties. After several rounds of talk therapy and CBT it was no better. Started HRT and after a month I was back to my usual self. Realized I had been getting perimenopause symptoms since my late thirties. The other day i woke up in the night in full panic mode. It turns out I had forgot to put my HRT patch on so I really believe this has helped me so much.

This video is very helpful in understanding what anxiety is, why we need it and how to reduce it from a scream to a manageable whisper.

Mid 40s. I have long covid and that has revealed the ADHD / autism symptoms as I don’t have the energy to mask. Apparently this happens in perimenopause too. The LC has played havoc with hormones and I was really struggling in the week before my period - really anxious, wanted to die but not suicidal, paranoia… I’m now on HRT and that has pretty much gone.

This flare up must be related to the fear of being admitted to hospital. I think I need to address the underlying issue here, I can’t feel like this every time I get unwell.

Oh @BabbleBee i cannot imagine what you’ve gone through with your DD having cancer. That is my greatest fear, and whatever illness my son has it always comes back in my head as him having cancer and I’ll lose him. I’ve sat on his bedroom floor crying in the dark as he’s sleeping, planning his funeral and in the end he’s had tonsillitis but that’s what burying one child does to you. It’s horrendous. I’ve had hypnotherapy which worked for a good few months but the anxiety comes back.

Today I have woken up and the anxiety has mostly gone, and I’m grateful but I know it could be back later, the bitch!

It’s weird because the BP phobia sort of crept up on me. I’ve had health anxiety for years, since after my youngest was born. I lost some blood during his birth - not enough to warrant surgery or anything - but it absolutely frightened the life out of me and I think that triggered the post natal health anxiety. I’ve been on Citalopram for years because of it.

I learned to sort of cope over the years but then I had a sigmoidoscopy where I ended up having a panic attack. Because of having the panic attack my HR soared, as it does, but my fear then became fixated on that and all things heart. I also have ME and fibro so can’t exercise and that feeds into the heart thing, because I’m so unfit and deconditioned. Rationally I know taking my BP can’t hurt so I can only suppose it must be that I’m afraid of it being high and needing meds.

@HÆLTHEPAIN OK, so, not unsurprisingly, your subconscious has been on high health alert since you had the life frightened out of you (that phrase is very telling) - it was traumatic for you. Instead of subsiding it's (forgive me!) now like a meerkat - constantly scanning the horizon for potential signs of danger. It's not doing this to distress you but in the mistaken belief that it's protecting you. It IS possible to change this, by letting this part of your mind know that this strategy is actively acting against your happiness. Have a look at my AMA on remedial hypnosis.

I do the same thing… headaches - are they another undiagnosed tumour?! It’s relentless. I thought life after surviving cancer would be filled with joy, relief, pretty rose petals and at some times it is but others it’s not. I catch myself when I go to say flippantly that I’ve never been so scared (in response to something like a big spider) but I genuinely know what real fear is. I’m sure you know that and then more.

I hope the anxiety stays quieter today and talking has helped.

Completely agree with this. Your brain has hardwired the BP into a traumatic memory but it is possible to rewire that memory.