To leave and live my last moments in Spain

[CocoBellaSparkle]

Hi my friends
I am nearly 40 and now dying of incurable ‘c’

former hard working career .. lost house and my debts are nearly £100k through the fat evil monster

Put my kids through the best education .. trips abroad, dream holidays

n fortunately oldest has become dad no 2
Broke my nose .. chases me (I could write a book)

my question is

and my vision is going as I’m dying my mortgage in Buckhurst Hill was £1k a month and now my private rent for a small apartment in Chelmsford is £1800 a month

should I get a one way ticket to the sunshine?

What about your youngest, OP? Or other family?

Don't you want any of them with you when the time comes?

I'm sorry you're in this situation. Sending you best wishes

You do have to have insurance to go on a cruise

You don't have to tell them you've got cancer if you don't want it covered

So you just lie.... the cruise company don't check 🤷‍♀️

You could lie. But then OP risks being stuck on a cruise ship while she's actively dying of cancer. You really don't want to do that without access to palliative care.

Fly to the US and get on a cruise, no one checks if you have insurance

Yes and the OP says they chase her.

OP please contact womens aid or adult social care at your nearest council you do not deserve to live your days out in fear.

You can live there if you’re British but it’s not very nice. Just a hilly old rock with nothing to do.

No, of course you wouldn’t be unreasonable 💐 I’d get the absolute cheapest travel insurance I could find, just to get through immigration, take every credit card and loan I could get and lie my socks off. What can they do?

But what I would think about is money and pain relief. Have you got enough credit/cash to comfortably house and feed yourself for the time you’ve got left? Do you want to be with anyone when you’re coming to the end? And how would you get pain meds? Would it be easier to simply move to a cheaper part of the UK and not take any abusive teens with you?

Do you want to be surrounded in your last days by people who can't speak your language. Who don't understand what you are asking for?

Stay in a country that speaks your language. (Unless you happen to be fluent in Spanish in which case go for it)

Of course you can if you wish o and why not.
I'm sorry if this sounds harsh I don't mean it to, but due to finances I'd only go if very near end of life.

I'm so very sorry you are going through this. There really are no words ⚘⚘

I have no advice on your plans as I am not knowledgeable in this area.

You don't give the age of your dc - are they adults?

To be honest, you need some serious rl support. If you are being abused by your son, please contact women's aid and the macmillan team.

Is a hospice an option?

What a mess. I can't see any easy solutions. Have uk consultant told you how long you have left? Plus that isn't always accurate.

OMG! i just woke up cos realised i said yes.I MEANT DO IT. not yabu...... i got zero idea re pallative\end of life care-any country..... I 100% believe you are doing the right thing ...for you ..do it. xxxxxxxxxxxx

I am sorry if you are ill but why on earth would you go to a country where you don't speak the language, you have no money and you won't get healthcare?

I helped nurse my husband at home while he was doing of cancer. His pain relief was monitored and managed almost hour by hour and involved a morphine syringe driver as well as many other drugs. No way can this kind of care be provided on a cruise ship. I can't believe the stupidity of people suggesting this.

There is no NHS on a cruise ship.

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this, OP. Would it be possible for you to 'escape' to somewhere else in the UK, so you can receive NHS care away from your son, and hospice care if needed?

I know right?! You can definitely tell the people on here who have clearly never cared for a dying person before, some of the suggestions are just stupid.

unless I’ve missed something the OP HAS NOT MENTIONED GOING ON A CRUISE SHIP. That has come from another poster

only going abroad to live out what time they have left.

saraclara I’m sorry you had to go through that. While I still think what I said above I also agree with you and think you made a very good point about nhs and hospice care.

It sounds like a lovely dream but you do need to think about the practicalities - would you be out there all alone? Would you be able to get medical/pain management/palliative care? I wouldn't want to leave these things to chance. I'm not saying don't do it, just that it needs careful planning.

What about a private nursing home somewhere lovely in the UK eg Cornwall by the sea.
If your son is violent get away from him anyway.

I have been on many cruises and never once been asked insurance info
Do it OP, Spanish hospitals will not turn you away when it comes to it.
I do not know how close you are but I wish you the best in the rest of your life earthside and a peaceful passing however soon that should be

Of course the OP hasn't suggested it. But several posters have, even suggesting that she takes out insurance without mentioning her illness. Which would need medically, financially and legally disastrous. You misread my post completely.

It really depends on how long you have and if you will be alone over there. Spanish doctors and healthcare system is much better than NHS, so if you have the right insurance you’ll get great medical attention and I am sure you will find plenty of people that can speak English if you don’t speak Spanish. You deserve to life the rest of your life as you wish. Best of luck!

Sorry I didn’t mean you thought that.

That’s why I didn’t quote you. The first part of the post was a general point as that seems to have started to dominate. then after when I wanted to talk to you and agree with your point while acknowledging my first post up thread too was after I mentioned your name.

sorry if you thought I was having a go!

Gibraltar would be your best bet, especially for healthcare access.

Oops, sorry! I said you'd misunderstood me, and it turns out I misunderstood you!

There's the danger in posting when it's way past my bedtime. Sorry I was needlessly grumpy.

It might get a bit hot in Spain over the summer. Bookings are down in coastal UK so you might be better in an air b and b