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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Thinking this is cheeky of friend?

64 replies

pop243 · 13/04/2024 16:16

3 years ago I was out for the day with friend, when leaving the attraction my ds threw open my car door and banged df's door causing a dent and chipped the paint on the door.
The car was only a few years old and I took responsibility right away saying I would of course pay for it.
Df got a quote of £300 which I agreed with and she said she'd tell me when the car went into the garage.
I have asked numerous times over the three years to settle up but she's kept on putting off taking the car to be fixed and I've still not paid (and the car still dented three years later)
We only meet up a few times a year, we met up over Easter and she was driving a courtesy car. Turns out her husband had scraped the whole side of the car along a wall and it was in getting the two doors and front and rear panels fixed through the insurance. Turns out it's the same side as my dc dented.
I was the one who asked about the courtesy car to start with and after telling me what had happened she said "anyway I'm glad you've brought it up as we'll need the £300 now it's in being fixed" I replied "oh will this not complicate payment now that insurance is involved" and we got into a bit of a tit for tat conversation before I said I'll transfer it.
Now I KNOW it's my (ds's) fault and I would have paid years ago had the car been repaired earlier but I feel a bit 🤔 now that the cars being fixed through insurance but she's still taking the full £300 from me even though the door will be fixed due to her dh's accident.
I suppose in my mind if roles were reversed I'd be joking about friend having a lucky escape not having to pay.
Am I a total cheeky fucker or does anyone else find this a bit off?

OP posts:
1down · 13/04/2024 16:17

Total piss take.
Have you paid? If not, dont!

Janetime · 13/04/2024 16:18

Cheeky fucker. You owed it, trying to get off with it is cheeky

Nanny0gg · 13/04/2024 16:18

Best thing, if you'd agreed the £300 would have been to transfer it then and there. Then it would have been over and done

TruthorDie · 13/04/2024 16:20

Nanny0gg · 13/04/2024 16:18

Best thing, if you'd agreed the £300 would have been to transfer it then and there. Then it would have been over and done

This

Georgyporky · 13/04/2024 16:21

Offer to pay the insurance excess

NeedToChangeName · 13/04/2024 16:22

You should have paid 3 years ago, whether or not the car was repaired

But, you didn't, so I agree it seems cheeky they're asking for £ now, when it's being fixed anyway

TipsyKoala · 13/04/2024 16:23

You offered £300 to repair the dent. The dent has now been replaced by a much bigger dent that was not your fault so no need for you to pay anymore! However if you value the friendship I’d just pay what you were prepared to pay at the start.

WYorkshireRose · 13/04/2024 16:25

she said "anyway I'm glad you've brought it up as we'll need the £300 now it's in being fixed" I replied "oh will this not complicate payment now that insurance is involved"

Confused why would it? You had a separate, private arrangement with her to pay for damage your DC had caused. You should have paid it at the time irrespective of her getting the repairs done.

FusilliNom · 13/04/2024 16:25

Nanny0gg · 13/04/2024 16:18

Best thing, if you'd agreed the £300 would have been to transfer it then and there. Then it would have been over and done

Yes - Why didn't you pay her £300 THREE years ago?

FusilliNom · 13/04/2024 16:26

Thing is with cost of living and inflation and all you'd probably owe her more if it happened today so I'd just cough up and be grateful she let you earn interest on the £300 for 3 years

hedgehoglurker · 13/04/2024 16:28

Agree with majority, you should have paid 3 years ago. You are the CF.

ByUmberViewer · 13/04/2024 16:28

Just pay her - she's been waiting till she really needs the money and now she does.

Of course it won't complicate her insurance. It's got nothing to do with her insurance.

Iloveacurry · 13/04/2024 16:28

You probably should have paid it at the time. But I do think she’s being a CF asking for the money now considering the insurance is covering the repairs.

Original poster
pop243 · 13/04/2024 16:28

I didn't pay three years ago as she said she would spend the money if I gave it too soon. She lives far away enough away that I wouldn't just drop it off (we meet half way around twice a year) and I've never needed her bank details so don't have them saved.
It just keep on dragging on and life moved on and it was put to the back of my mind till the next time we arranged to meet up. Believe me I'm kicking myself now it wasn't sorted long ago.

OP posts:
Brainded · 13/04/2024 16:33

but once the money is with her it’s not YOUR problem anymore @pop243 you could have a completely different circumstance now which could mean that YOU couldn’t afford it! What would she do then?

TimeGrabsYouByTheWrist · 13/04/2024 16:34

Personally I think she is being a CF.

If I were the friend, I'd just forget it, as if it had been fixed and you paid £300 a couple of years ago, then they would now be paying for it to be done anyway. This way they're making money out of it.

Pay the £300, but you are clearly going to resent her for this!

BodyKeepingScore · 13/04/2024 16:37

I'd pay her the £300 as agreed, you're not out any more money than you would have been if you'd paid her at the time like you wanted to do. It's annoying, and her timing is off but perhaps your annoyance is down to the fact you'd secretly thought the £300 had been written off and you wouldn't have to pay?

TeenLifeMum · 13/04/2024 16:38

I’d split the excess 50:50.

BunniesRUs · 13/04/2024 16:39

Friend = CF.

She should have fixed and you should have paid at the time. As that didn't happen, and where things stand now, she is seeming grabby as she won't need the £££ for the repair. Unless she does?

YourSnugHazelTraybake · 13/04/2024 16:40

The £300 will probably cover her excess. If it hadn't been damaged more I reckon she'd not have bothered, but now it's costing her it's fair enough.

DrJoanAllenby · 13/04/2024 16:44

Three years later? Not a chance!

Don't pay her, she can't enforce it.

Just laugh.

ManchesterLu · 13/04/2024 16:46

I think she is the CF. You agreed on a price and kept asking her when she was getting it sorted. She didn't, which clearly shows she wasn't that bothered by the dent. And now she's done something worse (which would cost the same whether your previous dent was there or not) she's chasing you for the money? Nah. I'd tell her where to go.

Cherrysoup · 13/04/2024 16:47

Don’t pay if the insurance is paying, she’s taking the piss big time if the car is already being repaired via insurance. Why does she need your £300?

Lorelaigilmore88 · 13/04/2024 16:53

Don't pay this at all. Your quote no longer stands, she isn't being billed for work, she is basically getting you to pay the excess. She's being an absolute CF. Yep you damaged her car but that wss 3 years ago. She should have sorted at the time. She's lost her chance but is chancing her arm now.
Message her and say you won't be paying her excess fees for the damage her husband has done to their own car.

Onemoremakesthree · 13/04/2024 16:54

Absolutely she's being cheeky, it's not your fault that she's fannied around for three years, I presume you asked for bank details in that time and she didn't provide them.
The damage your DS did is now irrelevant. If you had already paid her she would be paying the full cost of repairing her DH's damage-which is what is being repaired and has nothing to do with you.
My reaction would also have been 'lucky escape for you' if the tables were turned

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