To be annoyed I have to socialise at 9:30 on a Saturday

[Wiinky]

Had a massively busy week at work and have got home at about 9pm every day. So was really looking forward to a lie in this morning and having some time to myself.

Dp has informed he agreed to breakfast plans for 9:30 with some of our friends. I’d told him that I didn’t fancy it and didn’t want to fork out £30 on a breakfast somewhere I think is massively overrated and overpriced.

But now I’ve got to hurry and get out all the while the house is a dump because dp didn’t do any laundry or load the dishwasher.

You could always leave him to it and just not go?

I would be staying home..

Not a bloody chance would I be doing this, did he just tell you this morning? I’d be livid (have also had a crazy week and the thought of doing this fills me with dread!)

as others have said I would just let him go on his own.

Don't go
It's unacceptable to inform you of plans without having the courtesy to check with you.

What kind of monster is he?!
We occasionally take the DCs for a buffet breakfast at a local carvery (school holiday tradition) but that's cheap, informal (half the clientele are in work clothes or tracksuits) and we don't get there before 10:30am.

YANBU. Having to be actually sociable and properly dressed etc at such an early hour, would not be my idea of a good time!

Yeah don't go, it will make you feel better as you'll have the bonus of alive time at home. Wheras going, on top of your depleted energy, will add tension between you all day so it's a double loss.

Sounds like my idea of hell! I don't socialise until at least 2pm and that's non-negotiable!

Stay at home and let them get on with it!

Just say no.

Why do you 'have to'?

Why can't you say no?

Stay in bed. Make sure he brings you tea before he goes.

9.30am is nowhere near early in our house. I've been awake since 6.45am this morning so waiting to meet people at half 9 would feel like a lifetime. Maybe your DH is like us?

My partner would never, ever drop a plan involving me without consulting me first.

Mind, my partner is a woman...

Like fck I'd be going to that. No way.

He can go on his own.

This would have annoyed me in my younger life and I probably would have declined, in favour of staying home to clean the house and I annoyance of the last minuteness.

Today my plan is to do a massive house clean as ours is also a huge tip... however, if plans with friends were made, I think I would go! I'm in my 40s now and everyone is busier - I take any opportunity to socialise with friends these days!

Do you have some strange disease which causes you to spontaneously combust if you say no to such unreasonableness?
For heaven's sake. You are an adult. There are communication rules in relationships
You'll build up resentment while trying to tidy up. You'll take this to the breakfast. Your DP will ask you wtf was the matter, then you'll have a massive row..
Because he makes plans and doesn't tell you and you don't assert yourself

I'm more interested in why he hasn't emptied the dishwasher on done any laundry if you've been working such long hours.

Why is he making plans without at least asking you first?

So you told him not to book it and he did anyway and now you think you have to go? Why?

Just don't go.
Also tell him if he's up and about he can sort the dishwasher and bung a load of laundry on before he leaves.
My partner used to make plans for me. Nope.

Go. You might enjoy it.

Just tell him you're not going.
Text the others to apologise, with a brief explanation of how tired you are.

Stay at home and do laundry and clean or go out for brunch with friends?

Even with an early ish start I know which I’d prefer!!! But not if friends are pricks, obvs.

Life’s too short to go to these things if you don’t want to. He can go on his own if he gave you no warning. Enjoy your lie in.

My DP would never dare spring such a thing on me! 9:30 at a weekend? No chance. 11:00 maybe.

Can’t you just say no?