To be annoyed I have to socialise at 9:30 on a Saturday

[Wiinky]

Had a massively busy week at work and have got home at about 9pm every day. So was really looking forward to a lie in this morning and having some time to myself.

Dp has informed he agreed to breakfast plans for 9:30 with some of our friends. I’d told him that I didn’t fancy it and didn’t want to fork out £30 on a breakfast somewhere I think is massively overrated and overpriced.

But now I’ve got to hurry and get out all the while the house is a dump because dp didn’t do any laundry or load the dishwasher.

My ex was an absolute fucking bell end of a twat.

And even he knew that 9.30 on a Saturday morning is not a time for socialising.

I would be livid however I wouldn't stay home because that would involve just cleaning the house.

Fuck that. There’s no way I’d feel like socialising at 9.30 in the morning. Particularly when I’ve had a busy week. Actually, it doesn’t matter what sort of week I’ve had, I never want to meet people in the morning and have to make conversation.

Your bigger problem is your husband though. Why is he not pulling his weight?

It's the type of arrangement that should be agreed well in advance, even then 9.30 is a bit grim. I'd not be hungry or up for convo.
Just don't go. Tell him to bring you a bacon roll.
I'd get it if it was a kids thing, and they'd been up since 6, but it's way too early!

Why are you going if you're not keen?

Your other half's got it made really. He gets to go out and have a lovely brunch with friends while you're at home doing the cleaning and laundry😀

YABU to say you ‘have’ to. You don’t have to do anything.

Just tell him you’re not going and go back to bed.

I am going to go against the grain here. Get dressed up a bit , go enjoy brunch , chat to your friends . Housework will always be there, meeting friends maybe not . While you get sorted tell him to quickly put a washing on, etc and inform him that when you return he will be helping on an equal basis to do the chores. Enjoy 😉
.

But op has had a very busy week and was looking forward to a lay in and some time to
herself.

Why on earth must she ‘get dressed up a bit’ and go and do something she had no intention or interest in doing?

Are you someone who tries to please others above yourself? Don’t put that on someone else.

Just don’t go.
Message your friends to say how knackered you are, and that DH overestimated your bounce back ability after a horrible week.
You’ve sort of already decided you’re going to have a rubbish time, so keep that energy to yourself at home.

What happens if you don’t follow your partner’s orders?

If you don't want to go, you don't have to, surely?

Although I'm thinking that's a pretty civilised time to be having breakfast - I would be starving as I was up at 5 am this morning! I'm definitely a lark. I have friends who want to have 'brunch' at 12 noon. I don't tell them, but that's lunch for me, as breakfast would have been at around 7 am 😂)

This

No . Just thought that she might enjoy it herself if she went.If it is not something she fancies , then don't go , please yourself first . But don't feel pressured to do housework .

Did you go?

Your DP is being massively unreasonable. How hard is it to check with you first? He knew you’d say no, that’s why he sprung it on you. So I hope you showed him that his plan did not work, and he ended up at breakfast alone with egg on his face…

(Also, do you really want to be friends with people who want to meet at that time on a Saturday? I bet they have kids and you don’t…)

🎖️

Going partially against the general grain in the plan itself wouldn't be an issue for me (we Parkrun with friends most weeks so are socialising before 9am) but the lack of warning, assuming he only told you this morning, would piss me off and I'd have no issue just saying no and not going if I wasn't keen.

Completely agree on the not doing housework! But seriously, women need to stop putting their own desires aside to please other people. Op is knackered and wanted a lay in.

Life is for living not housework. Yabu.

Why on earth did you agree to go?

9.30am is nowhere near early in our house. I've been awake since 6.45am this morning so waiting to meet people at half 9 would feel like a lifetime. Maybe your DH is like us?

this - we are always out doing things in the morning on the weekend. Even if I'm tired I'd struggle to sleep longer than 9 hours straight.

but equally if you don't want to go.... don't go.

Did she ?

Yes? It's right at the end of her post

Bet she went and everything's super

No, her post ended with this:
But now I’ve got to hurry and get out all the while the house is a dump because dp didn’t do any laundry or load the dishwasher.

I read this as her saying it would be what she had to do if she went. But she could have said “well I’m not doing that”.