To think that people lie about how frugal they are?

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Both in real life and on this website. I was just reading a post about someone asking if they should rent a more expensive flat. Lots of replies saying how when they were younger they only rented the very cheapest flat, or they shared a room in a flat share and then saved so much money they owned a flat outright within 6 years.

So who is renting all of the flats priced above the absolute minimum?

In real life I’ve noticed people saying they only spend X on Y when you know full well how much Y costs.

I know what you mean, I think maybe it depends on what angle the question is coming from?

Like the one about renting an expensive flat, if the person renting does actually want to buy a flat/house one day, then I think yeah it does make more sense to stay in the cheapest one and as other posters mention you are then able to save more money to enable you to purchase a home for yourself. So there will be comments like that because for anybody who wants to get on the property ladder that is what you’d do.

BUT there are lots of people who for whatever reason either never want to own anywhere or aren’t able to, I personally know of people who never want to own as they prefer to have a landlord responsible for repairs, or don’t want to be tied to one city/place with a mortgage so prefer to rent so they can move around, and I also know people who due to poor financial decisions wouldn’t be able to buy due to bad credit. Those people, if you’re only ever going to rent, for me are the people in the lovely places paying the high budget rents because actually that isn’t a stop gap for them that is just their home, so it makes more sense to live somewhere that they love versus someone who is renting but wants to buy.

I know what you mean OP. I wonder if during the COL crisis people feel bad about spending a lot on something and worry that it may come across as showing off, so they tend to underestimate / downplay their spending?

To be honest, I prefer this trait to the opposite (someone being flash with their cash).

Yes I think so - possibly less lying more false memory.

Though more so I think a lot of people on here aren't are badly off financially they make out. Many of the claims of inability to afford things is more not wanting to pay the cost for those things.

Such a going on about not being able to afford uniform, in reality that's because they want to add to the savings they don't dip into or go on an annual holiday.

Can't help feeling those who genuinely can't afford uniform and have no savings or holidays properly go on about it less.

I don't think many people lie about their own current frugality. I do think too many people minimise the financial struggles of others.

I also think people draw false comparisons between current cost of living and historic cost of living. Housing costs far more than it did 40 years ago, for example - in my area a house costs around ten times average salary, whereas 40 years ago it cost around four times average salary.

I think those articles about millennials being unable to buy houses because they have Netflix/avocados/a mobile are either deliberate bollocks or stupidity.

In my area, there is no cheap housing. 40 years ago, there were extremely cheap options available.

Probably a bit more complex than that as people value frugality in their lives in lots of different ways, depending on what they think is worthwhile spending on.

I know that I'm a particularly good example of this - I pride myself on finding bargains and buying second hand, particularly clothes, toys, furniture etc, but our monthly outgoings are massive because we spend on things that others might see as frivolous or luxury.

I think people claim to shop on Vinted or have an amazing charity shop find where it's very likely that perfectly fitted item in amazing condition was bought off the rack in the store.

I dunno, except that I was genuinely able to have a fun time living a frugal life when I was younger. I don't subscribe to the avocado toast level of debate, but young people are sorting of encouraged to think they deprived if they don't have the gym membership, the lease car, the expensive phone etc.

Much like sleeping on a friend's sofa and finishing last night's kebab before pinging up fresh for the day, being frugal AND having fun is easier in your youth than it is when you're older.

I did always used to rent incredibly cheap flats… but wasted tons of money in other ways.

I think it’s partly that if you’re looking back the costs of renting now seems astronomical so you imagine someone now is renting something much fancier than they are

And then I think it’s partly that people spend and save in different areas and are gobsmacked at how much people people spend in areas they are careful in

Also on MN there's a selection effect. People are maybe more likely to post on a thread saying "I used to live in a really cheap flat" rather than "I chose to spend a bit more". Both might be true for two different people, but one posts on the thread and the other doesn't.

Why lie though?
I use some high street shops and some charity shops (they're still quite decent where I live) but see no need to pretend where the clothes came from.
Like a pp we're very frugal in some ways, so we can be less frugal in others. Frugal can mean different things to different people too.

Honestly I think the standard of living expected has risen massively so people’s baseline is higher. People’s expectations have changed. So within the home more is spent on the basics. For example it was utterly unremarkable not to have a tv, a washing machine, or a telephone at home if you were starting out in the eighties. It was also cheaper to go out and socialise, so while you might have a less convenient life you could meet your friends for a drink in a pub fairly often.

Yes, it’s all a bit “in my day we walked uphill both ways to school and back, barefoot in a thunderstorm.”

The typical Mumsnetter earns over £100k, owns a 500k house, but spends less than £100 ,a week on food and never turns their heating on.

I think its a combination of three things:

1. Threads are self selecting so people are more likely to post that they're frugal on a thread about it if they are in general. People who typically spend a lot probably wont comment at all
2. Confirmation bias- people will remember the times they were frugal and "forget" the times they werent- just how the brain works
3. Bragging. There is definitely an element of some people liking to seem superior to others/ flat out lying and you get those people on all kinds of threads always trying to one up everyone else. If someone did something, they did it better. I always imagine those people are deeply unhappy in real life.

Performative frugality ime is generally practised by people who want to deny the role their privilege and advantage has played in their success. We sat on deck chairs for 3 years (in the flat you bought with a gifted deposit?) we worked our arses off to be in this position (and the inheritance must have helped...?) We ate beans on toast for dinner and saved every penny (you didn't benefit from property price increases then?) I'm not saying they didnt do those things, but often in a bit of a Pulp Common People type way, which is of course hugely different from it being your only option and long term way of life. It's largely a harmless conceit that only becomes a problem when it's used against people without those advantages to suggest they are feckless and insufficiently diligent.

To read threads on here, you’d think everyone is completely frugal in all aspects of life and that no one is spending money on frivolities. However, someone must be buying all this stuff, otherwise no one would bother selling it!
Also, people saying ‘we paid £250pm for a grotty one bed flat while saving for a deposit’ is entirely irrelevant now because that same grotty flat would cost £1000pm in my area.

Regarding ‘only renting the cheapest flat’ etc

I think once upon a time, you could spend a lot less on rent. It was possible to rent something basic for a low price and save to buy.

Now… even the basic flat is expensive. So to try and save to buy is nigh on impossible for many anyway. 50% of millennials don’t own a home - and are unlikely to.

So living in the worst house share you can find is’t a 6 year plan. It’s a 15 year plan, or a permanent one.

I often read comments along the lines of ‘oh everyone expects their own house straight away’ - which isn’t my experience at all, everyone I know lived in a house share for a decade or more unless living with a partner.

Who is renting the expensive flats? People who can afford them and are not frugal. Unless you are implying that comments from frugal people are representative of the entire population, I don’t really understand your question.
I am pretty sure a family with kids is not going to share a room in a flat share no matter how frugally they live otherwise. Also if the cheapest version of the flat is covered in black mould and has a grubby shower, someone may legitimately make a choice to go for a slightly more expensive option if they can afford it.

Won't a lot of that just be that people aren't comparing like with like? As in, they assume because something worked for them years ago, it'll function the same now.

It's quite conceivable that there are people on here who saved enough from living frugally over a few years to buy a flat. There are periods in the last few decades where that would've been possible, at least in some areas. Doesn't make it sensible advice now.

I was very frugal through to late twenties and lived in shared accommodation. Four of us in a three bed house for a few years . I had the downstairs front room and it was like living like a student. It was very cheap though, house was a bit of a dump. I did this so I could save and invest. DH was doing something similar with a load of lads. Apart from an escaped pet snake of his housemates incident for him and stairs collapsing in mine it was great.

This was the 1990’s, obviously housing costs were proportionality much cheaper. But the way we could split everything even the TV licence. It was so worth it.

I had a real motivator though as one of six children and first to go to University I was desperate to leave my childhood poverty behind.

Most people live frugally when they are just starting out in their own flat/house. I know I did, and that was nearly 30 years ago when housing was more affordable whether renting or buying. I can't imagine what it must be like for young people nowadays.

Even then, we had to count every penny and all our furniture was second hand, either bought from cheap corner shops (no eBay etc. back then) or family cast-offs. Having to budget carefully for even small treats such as a takeaway. My gross pay working full time was about £750 a month. I paid our £400 monthly rent out of that and my partner who was on a similar wage paid the bills.

Despite that I have happy memories of those days. The 90s was a good time to be a young adult.

Yep, and if they could afford say a 3 bed house on their income but are instead renting a slightly nicer 2 bed flat than the black mould one, they might legitimately feel they're being frugal? People can be reducing their spending and watching their budgets without necessarily choosing the absolute cheapest option available to them.

@SevenSeasOfRhye the 1990’s really was a great time to be a young adult I was in my twenties that decade and had gone to University as a mature student and was then working in a major city having grown up semi rurally.

I don't see any reason to lie either. I don't think people are lying about buying on vinted because I do, as do family. I know they don't have the money for new everything, I think people who regularly shop new for things other than pants and socks must be on a decent income, it's expensive! I'm looking at a barely worn Jack Wills hoodie for £4, so about £7 with postage. Why buy new?

I’m frugal in some areas but willingly spend loads on others. We all have different priorities. Buying something on vinted means you can splash the cash elsewhere.

Not everyone is lying. But it doesn’t mean they are strapped for cash either.