To think that people lie about how frugal they are?

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Both in real life and on this website. I was just reading a post about someone asking if they should rent a more expensive flat. Lots of replies saying how when they were younger they only rented the very cheapest flat, or they shared a room in a flat share and then saved so much money they owned a flat outright within 6 years.

So who is renting all of the flats priced above the absolute minimum?

In real life I’ve noticed people saying they only spend X on Y when you know full well how much Y costs.

Spot on. Though more like an 800k house I’d say.

The “obviously we each earn 6 figures” stuff coupled with. “But I let my children sit in 11 degree rooms all winter rather than turn the heating on” really is quite wearing.

I agree that many are spending elsewhere. Much of it is priorities. I don't see why I should buy new clothes when I can get almost new for a fraction of the cost and be able to buy some of my food locally instead.

It's not either or though. Not all young people are renters, and not all renters are saving up to buy a home as the OP of that thread was doig. My neighbours are renters and the monthly rent is extortionate, but they are a large family and in jobs that can afford them this. They do not want to buy.

This is true, and you don't necessarily get a representative snapshot depending on what part of the spending you hear about/see.

@PuttingDownRoots and drives one old car

Yes we have more electricals. But those electricals cost a fraction of what they did then.

However the core cost of a home - the home itself - has increased hugely.

Having a washing machine in 2024 is not a luxury, nor should it be viewed as such.

100%. It’s like it’s a competition or something

Frugality is subjective based on personal priorities. I suspect everyone considers others spending on handbags/ car/ holiday/ meals out/ designer clothes etc a waste of money and would only buy the cheapest of that thing. Whereas someone else may value a high end holiday / clothing / food and scrimp on everything else for that.

Our personal frugality is to get the best quality at the cheapest price. Quality is subjective again, not always does the big brand have the best quality, just the best marketing. We're not overly brand loyal, I feel that most foods and clothing are made at the same factories with different labels. Maybe a little more discerning with electrical goods but even with white goods I'd choose a Beko over a Bosch as I feel they do the same thing and last just as long.

I was a bit confused by OP's post - um, surely the answer is that everyone else who isn't posting on MN frugality threads (i.e. the other 99.99% of the population) rented the more expensive flats? Those type of discussions are going to be a self-selecting response, people who didn't save money that way aren't going to post on a thread saying they did the opposite.

Your post I think is more accurate. I have a friend who always complains about how 'lucky' me and other people in our group are for owning our own houses, and I have to admit I think (but don't say), something along the lines of what OP is complaining about - because I DID stay either in fairly grotty house shares in less salubrious places or with my parents for longer than I'd would have liked to (despite being very grateful to have been able to), in my 20s, to save up money for a deposit, when she chose to live in a nice flat in a good area on her own. So in our similar circumstances I do think she could have made other choices if saving money was a priority.

However your post is a good reminder that it wouldn't be fair to apply the same to people younger than me. I'm in my mid 30s now, when I was in those 'grotty houseshares' 10 years ago a room was c. £300 a month in a nice city. Same sort of rooms now are £500-700. When I bought my house in 2016 the identical house next door was for rent for £600, which was already nearly double my mortgage, it's just gone back on for £995. Wages definitely haven't nearly doubled in the intervening time.

I'm on the fence about the avocado/netflix thing. Yes, a lot of it is hyperbole. A £8 netflix subscription is cheaper than a tv licence, good value for money if you watch a lot of it and isn't going to make any difference in your overall savings. A mobile phone is a complete essential in 2024. It's pretty much impossible to buy TVs that AREN'T smart, etc. BUT....my deposit was made up of lots of 'small' savings that added up. Bringing a 30p tin of soup for lunch in work rather than getting a £3 tesco meal deal every day. Making my own coffee. Doing my own nails. Rarely getting takeaways. Getting the megabus for a weekend in London rather than the train. Walking home for 20 minutes rather than getting an uber. etc. Getting a haircut twice a year and dyeing it myself. Pre-drinking at home rather than doing pub crawls. Keeping an out of contract phone with a £10 giffgaff rather than £70p/m on the newest iphone.

Whereas I know lots of people my age or younger who spend what I think of even now as an absolute fortune on luxuries (£15 on coffees and pret every single day, £200 cut and highlights every 3 months, £40 gel nails 3 weekly, £50 getting make up done professionally whenever they attend a wedding) takeaways and brunch twice a week, uber when it's raining rather than wait for the bus) then complain it is impossible to save for a deposit. But saving £200 a month for 3 years is £7200. In a LISA with the government bonus that's £9000. Plus interest - say at 4% is about £300. If you can buy with a partner that's a £18600 for a deposit for only 3 years of fairly easy savings, not living in complete miserly misery. Even if you save half that and take 6 years that's a 5% deposit on a £370,000 home or a 10% one on a £185,000 starter house/flat (which outside of the SE there are still many). So I don't think it's AS impossible as is claimed for absolutely everyone under the age of 35 to buy a house.

I downplay how much I spend on things. Not because I’m a big spender in any way, but because it’s awkward to talk about these things in a COL crisis. I only talk about it when asked and will actually often say I don’t know/can’t remember or otherwise dodge the question.

(The only people that ask me such questions are family and they’re judgemental enough as it is, without knowing the details of my spending habits.)

Basically, don’t discuss how much you spend on something would be my advice.

I agree with a lot of this.

I was torn apart on a thread a while back when I said that part of the reason it took me 8 years to save for a deposit was because I spent far too much money on coffees, eating out, clubbing, festivals, multiple holidays a year, an ASOS and Deliveroo addiction, and beauty treatments all through my 20s and that I take responsibility for that (but had an absolute blast and wouldn’t change a thing).

I was told by several posters that I was wrong and that it was the Tory Gvmt / Brexit / other geopolitical forces that are fully to blame for my not getting on the property ladder until my 30s and how dare I try to take personal responsibility for any of it…

But on MN it is always one extreme or the other. You have people going on 4 holidays a year and buying a completely new wardrobe every season or the £3 per meal for a family of 5 and they’ve never bought a takeaway drink in their entire life types.

I wasn’t suggesting it’s considered luxury to have your own washing machine in the uk now, rather that it’s easy to think people are hamming up the frugal life they used to live when actually it was just how it was. It’s a bit like slamming people carrier drivers without considering the number of people transported. Family of 7 with a people carrier is very different to family of three. City dweller who doesn’t have a car very different to rural life without a car. My children’s life is easier than mine because I work hard to make it so. I love them and don’t want them to experience being cold hungry or smelly if I can help it.

People have different priorities, You can be frugal in some areas and spends on others. Eg old cars but great hols.

@Crushed23 (didn't want to quote my whole long post again)
Yes I've had exactly the same on MN. I've been told I was lying when I say I bought my house alone aged 26 on a fairly low salary 8 years ago due to having saved a good deposit. No idea why I would bother lying about something like that on an anonymous forum but it's easier to say things were out of your hands than accept some responsibility.

At the end of the day it's personal choice what you prioritise. I completely understand if for some people they'd prefer to spend the money, think life is for living, they work hard and deserve reward, etc. I don't expect any sort of kudos for having saved for a house nor do others deserve blame if they made different choices. I didn't do it to be smug at having made the 'right' moral/financial choice but because it was something I really wanted, more than I wanted lots of holidays or whatever. If a different person would prefer to look back like you and think 'I had an absolute ball in my 20s and wouldn't change a thing' that is as valid a choice, as is anything in-between ! (for example I have a friend who did a 'third option' - moved to Dubai for 5 years so had the time of her life living it up but also still managed to save a lot because wages were high, rent was included as part of her job, and no tax). If anything spending could be seen as more 'morally' valid collectively as it's putting money into the economy!

I just think that people should accept that (in most cases, there will always be some people whose circumstances mean they are completely unable to save at all) it IS a choice.