To worry about my kid's intelligence?

[Booboobunnywoo]

I know this is sensitive, but honestly just looking for input because I don't know much about kids, I don't have close friends who are parents, and I don't spend a lot of time with kids other than my own.

Anyway, DD is 5 and an absolute delight, but I worry about her cognitive development. She has a very limited vocabulary, often mixes up words, and we still struggle to understand her when she's telling a story. Short sentences are ok ("I can't find my jacket") but any utterance longer than two sentences is usually incomprehensible.

She cannot seem to understand stories beyond basic picture books when we read to her. I've tried some chapter books, like My Father's Dragon and Magic Treehouse, and she sits and listens obediently, but she cannot answer any questions about them while we're reading or afterwards, and I don't think she is following along at all. She also has watched some Disney movies such as Cars, Frozen and Finding Nemo. Eyes fixed on the screen the whole time, but she's completely clueless about what's happening, often focusing on little details that are not relevant to the plot and completely misunderstanding (or simply missing) major events.

Counting's all right, at least up to 10, but she cannot write her name beyond a few randomly placed letters (about 3 out of the 7, in random order).

My question: is this normal for a five year old? Should I worry?

Oh yes; I definitely agree about hearing checks too! It's often a factor. You have all these concerns and then realise your child's been trying to function while arguably deaf.

The film thing sounds like possible dyslexia (maybe with an atypical profile)- a low visual processing memory score would cause difficulties following films amongst other things, even with a gifted level IQ. Dyslexia often goes hand in hand with dyspraxia too, hence the motor skills issues.
Id ask school to refer her to an Ed Psych.

I am impressed that you have apologised to the school and asked for another meeting, It can be incredibly hard to see that your dc is struggling and ask for help.
It does sound like your dc has a problem with processing and I expect she may have dyslexia. School will be a struggle but you’ve done the right thing asking for help as she will be supported. Keep on advocating for her & you’ll find plenty of ways to help her.

Hearing
Eyesight
Dyslexia

look up DLD.
Ask school to help refer to SALT.

OP your DD sounds like mine! My DD1 was definitely a bit behind when she started school. There was a meeting arranged by the teacher, and I got super defensive. They mentioned her abilities to grasp and follow instructions etc. It turns out she had combined ADHD, and once we knew and adjusted, she really excelled at school. She is now at grammar doing really well. Good luck!!

You're giving her loads of good learning opportunities. Keep going!

Try some books with interesting pictures - can she talk about what's happening in the pictures?

So school have raised concerns. Delayed? They have suggested things to put into place to help her. So I'm struggling to see what the problem is.

Start off with the simple things that need checking. Make an optician appointment and get her eyesight tested. Then get her hearing tested.

Look at some speech therapy videos online.

Do these alongside talking to the school, GP etc because it can take quite awhile to get referrals etc in place and you want to have covered the basics.

I agree with previous posters that you sound like a great parent and despite any difficulties your daughter may have, having an invested and caring parent is a huge leg up in the world.

Thank you

Yes it's often the first thing to be diagnosed. Not sure why, maybe the waiting lists for speech and language therapists etc.. aren't as long in some areas.

Definitely worth looking into.

I'd read up about dyspraxia.
She sounds like a mixture between my 2 dyspraxic DDs.

Hearing and eyesight tests asap to rule out basic issues before going any further. It's surprising how often there are problems with those that adults round the child don't notice so get them checked.

I have a lot of concerns with one of mine who I am hoping can be helped by the children's OT service as we have concerns about dyspraxia. He is going to be 9yo this year and will not attempt to ride a bike even with siblings' encouragement.

Hopefully you get lots of help for your DD. It's no reflection on you, please don't worry.

My daughter was exactly the same. She didn’t speak until she was almost 3, no babbling nothing. By the time school started her speech was still a long way behind. She missed key sounds like F. She couldn’t read at all until year E4 when it all finally clicked into place. Her writing was ok though. Every area of her development was delayed. My eldest is severely autistic but she was nothing like him at the same age , she understood everything we said to her and followed commands etc . Throughout primary school she really struggled academically . When she started year 7 she wanted to go in the ski trip which we booked . We booked her in for a few lessons on the dry slopes. After hours and hours on the dry slopes it was clear that she just couldn’t co ordinate the skis and her feet and was coming away in tears. We cancelled the ski trip and I started researching! I literally googled why can’t my child ski ! Dyslexia came up and reading about the early signs she ticked every box late motor skills, late walking, late talking etc etc. She was assessed and diagnosed with dyslexia. She’s 18 now and doing really well, has a clear career path mapped out . It’s just a thought as Dyslexia is a lot more than writing things backwards and struggling with reading. I was interested to see just how it affects kids in many different ways.

Well done for getting back in touch with the school. You definitely won't be the first parent to react defensively when they raise concerns. You were surprised and blindsided, and we can all get overly emotional where our kids are involved. The school will understand this and won't judge you for your initial reaction. The important thing is to move forward and work with the school to make sure she gets the best support possible.