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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

No Response from Cleaner

70 replies

scottishceliac · 12/04/2024 16:17

Just before Xmas I posted for a cleaning job on a local fb group as I wanted someone reliable and good attention to detail as well as having good organisation skills. for 4 hours per week I was fortunate enough to find lovely two ladies so one to come on a Tuesday and the other on Friday as the one on a Tues has full time job and is just looking short term till her wedding in may and due to having lots of guest staying at mine over the period needed as much help as I could get. The lady on the Friday is a young mum with two children and she really impressed me and really has helped me out organising my cupboards and wardrobe's to perfection, I was so happy with her work and told her so,When she said in jan that she was going to get rid of a client as she wasn't happy with as they kept messing her about and give me that slot I was over the moon.but also felt a bt sorry for her clients loss as I think she is a amazing cleaner and such a lovely person. I was paying her £18 per hour for five hours on a Friday. her requested pay per hour. I was away on a course mid March and when I came home the house was lovely and clean as usual and she had taken the money I left in envelope, I sent her a whats app to thank her and to tell her how nice it was to come home to. which has tow blue ticks Any way the following Friday she didn't show up so I had sent her a WhatsApp the previous day just to check as I knew it was school holidays and as I didn't see her the previous Friday thought I would check if she would be coming , but no reply and unread so I sent another on the friday to ask again as I had needed to know if she was coming or not as I would have waited till she got here, all whats apps unread so no reply I then sent another message on the 4th asking again as I wanted to let her know I would be there if she was coming as I had to take a friends dogs to vets but again nothing. I sent a text message this morning to check if everything ok just incase something was amiss with her or her family and thats why she not been in contact ? as I mentioned above she is really a lovely person who I trusted straight away, she has read the message today but didn't reply so AIBU expecting some notice or message to say she can no longer or wants to work for me, I dont know what I done wrong to make her just blank me, understand it might have been awkward for her to say she doesn't want to work for me any longer but I would have accepted and respected her decision would have gave her a leaving cash bonus and a gift as a thank you for her help to date as I thought she was great. feeling very confused. thanks in advance for your thoughts

OP posts:
Original poster
scottishceliac · 12/04/2024 19:35

Onetiredbeing · 12/04/2024 19:21

Op I would get the key back or change the locks. It takes a minute to reply. She couldn't reply to 4 of your messages?

To be fair I think she works that hard and is a lovely mum she doesn't get time to look at her phone much, maybe she is overwhelmed atm, which make s me feel a tad guilty, but I just found out some of the schools not back yet I don't think for one minute she would her do anything untoward at all.

OP posts:
Original poster
scottishceliac · 12/04/2024 19:38

CurlyhairedAssassin · 12/04/2024 18:55

What was the agreement over the Easter school holidays? Did she tell you she wasn't going to be working for 2 weeks?

I dont recall her saying anything about this easter holidays just the last time that she was she here she said she was going to go abroad in the summer and she was nervous about flying and we chatted about that.

OP posts:
Beatrixslobber · 12/04/2024 19:40

Not the point but 5 hours at £18 an hour? How big and/or messy is your house?

School holidays, leg fallen off, cat died, blah, blah, blah. She needs to communicate with you. She has gone AWOL with the key to your house! Wakey, wakey.

Original poster
scottishceliac · 12/04/2024 19:42

SharpWriter · 12/04/2024 19:00

This is so out of order. You sound really nice OP! I would just find someone else as either she's going through something horrible herself or she's just untrustworthy.

I hope I was and am, yeah would feel bad if she was having a tough time. she was the most trustworthy cleaner I ever had, im just confused and a little hurt by it .

OP posts:
gratefulbutsad · 12/04/2024 19:42

@Beatrixslobber I have a cleaner who comes twice a week for 3-3.5 hours a time. So 6.5 hours a week at £16. It's needed. We live in a 4 bed house, with 3 bathrooms, WC and have laundry to hang up usually, as well as bed sheets to change. It takes time. We have a son and a dog too. Toys, highchair, fridge, oven, microwave, floor, all take time,

Tlolljs · 12/04/2024 19:46

Well she’s not that nice and trustworthy is she? Change your locks.

middleof58 · 12/04/2024 19:51

I'm in the midlands and although this is a first world problem, this is pretty much par for the course where I am. We've had 4 different cleaners in 2 years. It all started off great, really lovely people and we were careful to leave the house clear of clutter etc, always said thank you, paid on time and then just like that, two of them stopped turning up or replying to messages.

I had to say goodbye to the third as the standard of work dropped. I was ghosted twice so now, I no longer give a key and instead leave it in a safe place.

I think the only way to get a reliable service is to use an agency or an established business with several employees, rather than relying on just one person.

Op, just focus now on getting your key back! Give her 7 days to push it through the letterbox and you'll let the matter drop.

Pinkiepromise789 · 12/04/2024 19:52

Surely this is a wind-up?

OP you cannot surely be that naïve and simple minded??

Have you checked your jewellery etc?

Change your locks as many have advised.

Also, I think it's strange to get so personally involved with someone who is only recently working for you. You sound far too invested..

Original poster
scottishceliac · 12/04/2024 19:54

Beatrixslobber · 12/04/2024 19:40

Not the point but 5 hours at £18 an hour? How big and/or messy is your house?

School holidays, leg fallen off, cat died, blah, blah, blah. She needs to communicate with you. She has gone AWOL with the key to your house! Wakey, wakey.

Is that too low? I would have paid £20 if she said that was her rate, my house is big but I would say not messy or dirty im quite house proud and like to look after things I entertain alot. but I would be lying if I said my wardrobes and dining room dresser were tidy and my garage is a dumping ground , during and after radiotherapy treatment my organisation went to pot but not that bad most of my friends think my house is like show home. But she done an amazing job and batch them into colours and folded Mary Kondo style she really done an outstanding job and I really appreciated her hard work. yeah I might need to as im still hopeful its because she is away or something . thanks

OP posts:
TinselAngel · 12/04/2024 19:56

Maybe you were too nice and it made her feel awkward.

Original poster
scottishceliac · 12/04/2024 20:00

gratefulbutsad · 12/04/2024 19:42

@Beatrixslobber I have a cleaner who comes twice a week for 3-3.5 hours a time. So 6.5 hours a week at £16. It's needed. We live in a 4 bed house, with 3 bathrooms, WC and have laundry to hang up usually, as well as bed sheets to change. It takes time. We have a son and a dog too. Toys, highchair, fridge, oven, microwave, floor, all take time,

yeah I I also have a cleaner on a Tuesday that comes at 5pm after her full-time job and she does 3-4 hours but she is getting married in May and is only cleaning here to get money saved for her wedding and then she will be just doing her full-time job. and normally I just get her to change my bed and ensuite and one guest room and then just living area downstairs. Katie who came on a friday done some of the rooms that were not done on the tuesday.

OP posts:
Original poster
scottishceliac · 12/04/2024 20:03

TinselAngel · 12/04/2024 19:56

Maybe you were too nice and it made her feel awkward.

I wouldn't wanted to be ungrateful though especially as she done a lovely job. I hope thats not the reason though.

OP posts:
Arrestedmanevolence · 12/04/2024 20:07

I would assume the worst until she contacts you, and that's that she's stolen some of your belongings and left you hanging. I would definitely change the locks asap.

Original poster
scottishceliac · 12/04/2024 20:13

Pinkiepromise789 · 12/04/2024 19:52

Surely this is a wind-up?

OP you cannot surely be that naïve and simple minded??

Have you checked your jewellery etc?

Change your locks as many have advised.

Also, I think it's strange to get so personally involved with someone who is only recently working for you. You sound far too invested..

Sorry its not, thanks I have checked all seems in order all my expensive handbags still there , I suppose I will have to change locks, I not sure im that personally involved? I only have a phone number and just appreciated the help, as life has been a juggle health wise for my self and daughter. I dont understand what you mean too invested > when I came back from the Middle East she bought flowers for me to come home to hence why I thought it nice to buy her kids a Easter egg, thanks for opinion

OP posts:
Original poster
scottishceliac · 12/04/2024 20:16

Arrestedmanevolence · 12/04/2024 20:07

I would assume the worst until she contacts you, and that's that she's stolen some of your belongings and left you hanging. I would definitely change the locks asap.

oh god I hope not I cant see anything amiss yet, I just would find that hard to believe it. I know it makes me look gullible but I just dont think so though I will double check just incase.

OP posts:
Original poster
scottishceliac · 12/04/2024 20:19

middleof58 · 12/04/2024 19:51

I'm in the midlands and although this is a first world problem, this is pretty much par for the course where I am. We've had 4 different cleaners in 2 years. It all started off great, really lovely people and we were careful to leave the house clear of clutter etc, always said thank you, paid on time and then just like that, two of them stopped turning up or replying to messages.

I had to say goodbye to the third as the standard of work dropped. I was ghosted twice so now, I no longer give a key and instead leave it in a safe place.

I think the only way to get a reliable service is to use an agency or an established business with several employees, rather than relying on just one person.

Op, just focus now on getting your key back! Give her 7 days to push it through the letterbox and you'll let the matter drop.

Yeah I think that is the next step I need to do thanks for your advice much appreciated.

OP posts:
Aussieland · 12/04/2024 20:21

You sound a bit odd about this woman. You paid her to come and clean for like 3 months and she did her job and now you are buying her kids Easter eggs and seem to be getting emotionally attached.
If this was any other job and someone turned up and did it adequately for 3 months and then just fucked off with no explanation would you be all “but they were so nice, I should give them more money” or would you be pissed off?
Stop being a doormat and find a new cleaner and get over the idea this woman was some kind of hero

Original poster
scottishceliac · 12/04/2024 20:36

fieldsofbutterflies · 12/04/2024 19:09

Yep.

Any business owner who badmouths their clients to their other clients is probably best avoided, really.

Show quote history

to be fair she didn't slag them off but said they kept cancelling her at short notice as they were renovating and she said she kept losing money. though its going to be hard to find another cleaner who was as hard working as her my previous cleaner who I had for years and was amazing also has became a good friend aid I was the best person she had worked for in all her 15 years of cleaning compared to her other clients , but sadly she got diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer two years ago we see each other for a cuppa every few months. so hoping third time lucky :)

OP posts:
SharpWriter · 12/04/2024 20:38

I doubt she's planning to rob you, she probably just got other offers and couldn't be bothered to let you know. It's really bad form when she's got your key though. This seems to be how people behave when they've got more business than they can handle. Let's hope it never turns sour for them eh!?

Original poster
scottishceliac · 12/04/2024 20:53

Aussieland · 12/04/2024 20:21

You sound a bit odd about this woman. You paid her to come and clean for like 3 months and she did her job and now you are buying her kids Easter eggs and seem to be getting emotionally attached.
If this was any other job and someone turned up and did it adequately for 3 months and then just fucked off with no explanation would you be all “but they were so nice, I should give them more money” or would you be pissed off?
Stop being a doormat and find a new cleaner and get over the idea this woman was some kind of hero

Do I? I just appreciated the help as Ive a lot going on with myself and daughters health atm I never met her kids but she spoke about them alot when I was home and she was working and I only spent £15 on Easter eggs so not expensive, my thinking was that and to how I have always treated any workers be it builders or cleaners if I show appreciation to someone who is working for me and doing a good job then to show them some appreciation by giving a small gesture. we have had the same maintenance workers and gardeners working for us for years and I always give them a bottle of something at Christmas and big birthdays but thanks I will heed your advice thanks

OP posts:
IncompleteSenten · 12/04/2024 20:55

scottishceliac · 12/04/2024 19:19

yes, but I do complexly trust her she is a very nice person.

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You should never completely trust anyone and certainly not someone you've only known a few months.

Original poster
scottishceliac · 12/04/2024 20:56

SharpWriter · 12/04/2024 20:38

I doubt she's planning to rob you, she probably just got other offers and couldn't be bothered to let you know. It's really bad form when she's got your key though. This seems to be how people behave when they've got more business than they can handle. Let's hope it never turns sour for them eh!?

yeah I doubt it and I have cctv every entrance, and on entry to drive way aww yeah I would have appreciated a text just to say sorry I cant come anymore . thanks for advice

OP posts:
Original poster
scottishceliac · 12/04/2024 21:00

KidsandKindness · 12/04/2024 19:30

Such a shame that she turned flakey on you OP. However, I would change the lock on which ever door she has a key to, as while she may be the loveliest person in the world, you don't know who she might be mixing with, so far better to change the lock, than come home in a few months time to find you've been burgled, and by that time you've forgotten all about the fact that she had a key to your home.

Thanks thats a very good point thanks for the advice :)

OP posts:
Original poster
scottishceliac · 12/04/2024 21:05

IncompleteSenten · 12/04/2024 20:55

You should never completely trust anyone and certainly not someone you've only known a few months.

Show quote history

I wont now thats for sure, thought I had struck lucky like I had my previous two cleaners one who sadly passed away the other is fighting cancer and I see he every couple of months as she became a friend working for us for over 8 years , thanks for your advice.

OP posts:
Original poster
scottishceliac · 12/04/2024 22:11

gratefulbutsad · 12/04/2024 19:31

Yanbu, it's strange to have a someone who you pay weekly for help to ghost you. And a horrible feeling to have more questions than answers and also to know you trusted this person who is showing their true colours. Makes you wonder what has gone on.

Where do you live? I'm in London and cleaners are hard to come by. Someone on my road posted her cleaners details and many snapped up the offer. Myself included, as our cleaner could only do one day a week and we wanted to increase to twice days.

Like you, our cleaner told me she was more or less fully booked but squeezed us in on our chosen days.

After a week she started calling in sick one day, then the other day, then a whole week. Eventually she told me she ended up in hospital with exhaustion and had to stop.

Not sure how much was true vs her juggling all her clients and cancelling on some every so often but it did get my thinking of supply bs demand.

Yeah I just dont get it why she couldn't just have sent a message even if it was a white lie or got her hubby to message me. Im in the Cotswolds, yeah I think there is alot of demand locally as there is lot of holiday rentals, she did ask the last time I saw her if we were still moving overseas as I was going to rent the house out as a holiday let for large groups and she said she would be interested in managing the change overs etc for me and when she asked me a few weeks ago I said I couldn't see it happening, but now the job offer has been confirmed so was hoping to have her help me get rid of stuff I didnt need as well as knowing any bookings we had would be arriving to a very clean property.

OP posts: