To think that giving your young child a smartphone is very stupid?

[ILostMy20s]

Read this story on the BBC News site today:

Nine-year-olds added to malicious WhatsApp groups - BBC News

Surely I can't be the only one to wonder why on earth children as young as nine even have/need a smartphone in the first place? I appreciate we live in a dangerous world and there are a lot of people who worry about their children's safety - but is it really any more dangerous now than pre the existence of smartphones?

When there is so much evidence about the detrimental effects that phones and social media in particular can have on children, and stories like this, why on earth would you risk giving your child a smartphone at such a young age? At that age, the digital world is potentially much more dangerous/harmful than anything they're likely to experience in the real world.

I personally don't have any children myself yet, but if I did, I'd be very reluctant to let them have a phone before the age of 16. I'm in my 30s, and didn't have a mobile phone until I started university - and I fail to understand the logic or reasoning in letting a child have a phone before then, but particularly when they're so young (8-12, for instance).

I always find it quite sad seeing young kids attached to phones so early when I think back to my childhood and how happy and carefree it was. But I suppose many kids grow up these days not knowing anything different.

But am I being old fashionable/unreasonable in thinking this? I'd definitely be interested to hear other people's opinions.

My 8 year old has a phone, she uses it for games and kids YouTube but doesn't have access to social media and doesn't have a SIM card so no phone number.

I’m in my 40s and didn’t have a phone until my late teens. But when I think of some of the things I got up to as a younger teen where I’d have no way of contacting my parents if I was in trouble, it makes me shudder. My eldest, age 14 has a phone. I want him to be able to contact me if he’s out and needs me. I also want him to be in contact with his friends. He knows we have access to his phone and can check it whenever we want to until he’s a bit older. I’m not worried.

My 6 year old has a phone, no SIM card, no SM no different to an iPad/ tablet.

Giving a kid an unrestricted smart phone is stupid.

Giving a kid a smartphone with limitations, keeping an eye on it and teaching them how to use it appropriately is fine.

In your scenario you're withholding a daily thing from a kid until they are 16, and they are then thrown into a world they have no idea about, at an age with little parental input and no idea how to navigate.

Yanbu
My ds is 10 and won't be getting a phone until he is making his own way to and from school (probably September next year)

He has a tablet and access to YouTube via the tv. He has absolutely no need for a phone. He wants one. But he's not getting one yet.

My daughter is nearly 9 and I would say a third of her friends have phones.
I got one when I was about 11 but all I could do in those days was phone, text or play snake and I had to keep topping up if I wanted to text or call out 😂
I do plan to get my dd a phone when she starts secondary school so we can be in touch but sounds like whatsapp is a bit dangerous. I do hear that that is how kids arrange stuff though (like adults do!)
Very interested in suggested alternative safer chat platforms/phones etc.
We used to call each other on the landline to arrange meeting up (and have a gossip) but very much not done now!

I think letting 9 year olds on WhatsApp is asking for trouble and massively irresponsible.

I have a 9 year old and almost none of her friends have a smartphone. Lots of kids around here seem to get one in Year 6 though there seems to be a growing movement in our school community to hold off till longer (I’m aiming to hold off on a smartphone till 13/14.)

I personally don't have any children myself yet, but if I did, I'd be very reluctant to let them have a phone before the age of 16.

I'm just wondering how this child (who won't turn 16 until 2040 at the very earliest as they do not exist) is planning to pay for bus fare, access their homework portal for secondary school and keep up with their peers in an increasingly digital world?

I have one aged 8yo and HD wouldn't know what to do on SM. He just plays games on a tablet for set times.

My youngest got a smartphone aged 8 in the pandemic to keep in touch with friends.

Not stupid. It supported her wellbeing and connection.

We supervised her use of it

So DFOD.

I personally don't have any children myself yet, but if I did, I'd be very reluctant to let them have a phone before the age of 16

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I just love parenting advice from folk talking out if their backsides.

My 9 year old GC has to do homework and submit it online. Laptop/Ipad etc all the same as a smart phone. My GC has both. She uses both for research. She's parented closely and we are all switched on. The children talked about in the article are 12 and 14, when younger children are sucked in to the dangers, it's a parenting issue and it won't be the only thing that they are being neglected on.

Two words: Cass Review

www.theguardian.com/society/2024/apr/10/what-cass-review-says-about-surge-in-children-seeking-gender-services

Yabu

there’s a huge difference between simply getting a kid a phone with unrestricted access to everything and getting them one with appropriate parental restrictions and supervision.

kids need phones these days to get into the gym, access their homework portals, pay for the bus and being able to contact parents is extremely handy!

different apps should be introduced at appropriate ages and regularly monitored.

ours both had phones to go to secondary school, they had no need for them before that

This is about parents not changing default settings from "anyone can contact me/add me to a group" to "only those on my contact list can add me to a group".

The main thing is to train the kids to use the phones safely as well, have accountability and access to their search history etc

A lot of adults aren't tech savvy so they aren't necessarily aware of what their kids are consuming.

Some games like Roblox aren't safe - creepy adults playing in there too. A child I know was getting groomed in there and also joining self harm groups at the age of six.

I personally don't have any children myself yet, but if I did, I'd be very reluctant to let them have a phone before the age of 16.

Good luck with that one 😂

When you give your kid access to the internet then the internet also has access to them...

I'd recommend supervised and restricted internet access only until at least 14-15 provided the child is emotionally mature.

My DSD is 6 and has a phone too. No SIM card. We downloaded an app called Kinzoo so she can contact us and other family members. It's really helping her spelling but the facetimes and voice notes every time I go to the toilet are getting slightly irritating haha! The "I love you" messages we've been getting while she's been at holiday camp have been super cute though.

I have a 16 and a 13 year old. They’ve had phones since age 11. I don’t know a single one of their friends that doesn’t have a phone. With proper supervision it’s fine.

It’s difficult not to have a smartphone at secondary age.
Homework is set and completed on apps sometimes and bus tickets are digital and stored on phones. Having the ability to listen to music on your phone makes the journey to and from school more pleasant too.
Admittedly the homework could be done on a laptop or tablet but they aren’t wildly different to a smartphone.
I think a lot of children have smartphones without a SIM because they are used instead of handheld consoles like gameboys/tablets or they are taken when they travel between 2 separated parents.

This! There's another thread on this ATM as it happens. I said we got our 12 y/o a phone this year in advance of secondary school. I wanted her to get used to it, and us to get used to monitoring in advance of secondary. All well so far thank god. I think 16 is a bit much in today's world tbh.

DS 11 has a smartphone. DD 8 doesn't, but uses an old phone of mine (with no SIM card and no social media) to play games and watch programmes on Disney+, Netflix, Youtube. In practice the difference between him having 'his own' phone and her using 'my' phone is just that he has a phone number, can text a select group of friends (but no WhatsApp groups etc) plus he has more input into regulating his use of the device, charging it, and occasionally deciding to take it out with him. He often chooses to leave it at home though, which I find encouraging!

They both sign into Android using their own Google accounts which I control through Google Family Link. This means I have to approve what apps they install and what content age ratings they can access through streaming services etc., plus I can set time limits for access, see the location of the device, see stats on when and where they've accessed what apps, etc.

Having a phone is really not much different from having access to a tablet or any other smart device. Some tablets can have SIM cards and make calls, and a phone without a SIM can't do anything a tablet can't.

What matters is not that a child has a phone or doesn't have a phone, but what devices they use, how long for, how you regulate their use and how you transition to allowing them to regulate their own device use.

My 10 year old has my old phone (I'm not going to buy one specially for him) which he uses so he can contact me when he goes to his dads. My 13 year old had one from 11, so that he could contact me from school (although he rarely uses it, prefers to use his ipad).

All their devices are locked down, no-one can contact them who's not on the list and they can't install apps without me OKing it.

I am comfortable with this. We've had and continue to have conversations about dangers in real life and on the internet.

My eldest 2 had phones when they started secondary school, so 11yrs old. But they were restricted, timed usage and parental locked Internet access and I had access to check messages etc. I also explained that they could not share others peoples numbers without consent and blocked whataspp groups that were becoming problematic. It's about them being responsible and you being a responsible parent. There are ways to set these restrictions within apps or apps to enable parents to set limitations.
I do agree that peer pressure from younger kids whose parents have let them have phones at 9 yes old makes it difficult, but what does a 9/10yr old need a phone for?? If they need it because they're walking home from school, there are still basic call only phones available (in fact my son had one of those first and was another year before he got a smart phone).