Christmas at a community centre?

[Applescruffle]

I have a big family with five siblings, all with partners and four of us with kids. We alternate Christmases so one year we can spend it with our in-laws and the next with our own families. Now I know it's only April, but we've started talking about Christmas already mostly because one sister is planning to visit from Australia.
Mum downsized from a big house to a small, two bedroom flat three years ago. Not only is the flat quite small anyway, she likes a lot of furniture and a lot of stuff, think absolute opposite of miminalist. If theres an inch of spare space, she has to fill it. Needless to say, her flat is very claustrophobic.
However, even though mum chose to downsize and has a cramped space, she doesn't seem to get why family gatherings are never at her house anymore and wants to play host even though her kitchen is the size of a postage stamp. So this year she has said she wants to host Christmas at the local community centre for which she is a trustee and she manages "so we can all fit"
My question is WHHHYY do we need to have Christmas in a bloody community centre when me and my sister have large three bedroom houses, have hosted successful Christmases before and I am happy to do so again?
Just why am I going to take my kids out of ther home to sit on hard chairs in a bare hall on Christmas day?
Sister says we can make it cosy and Christmassy? I disagee.
Would you have your Christmas at a community centre when you have a perfectly adequate space at home everyone can come to?
I get that she wants to do it but if that's the case, she really shouldnt have moved, and no she didn't have to.
And I'm a better cook than her anyway

There are community centres and community centres.

Whats it like?

It sounds like you have issues with your mum. Don't go if you're going to mean about it hate it.

Could you suggest that she comes to your house a few days early and is fully responsible for “doing” Christmas for everyone, just in your house, and has free rein to do as she sees fit? Might be a decent compromise, although could also drive you up the wall.

It's a bare hall with a houseplant and hard stacking chairs, a small kitchen at the back and a toilet. It's had new flooring and a new kitchen recently. Largeish windows with obscure glass in so you can't see out or in.
It's alright I suppose. I'd probably hire it for a kid's bouncy castle party but it's not a home.

We’ve done large family events at the village hall that’ve been great. We’ve decorated them up, brought in what we want etc and it’s a good way to fit everyone in comfortably. Depends on the venue of course, but if she’s a trustee I’m guessing she would get reasonable free rein.
If you all want to host the fair way seems to be to take it in turns, if that’s her choice for her turn then I’d personally just go with it. Host’s choice, up to you if you attend or not.

Yes, this sounds like It's about a lot more than Christmas.

She doesn't stay over. We live five minutes from each other.

Ask the kids what they want. Some of my best memories from childhood are when we were together in halls like this.

Is this a thing people do then?

Don't be the Grinch. Let her have her way. It's only one year. Kids can run about in the big space so maybe plan to get them toys which take advantage if this....

Best thing about a community centre is that everyone helps set up and everyone helps tidy up.

It might not be the aesthetic that you prefer but everyone will be together and have space. Maybe go with it this year and see how it goes and say that you'll host next year.

We done it because one family member always insisted on paying for dinner for everyone, and this is how they done it. The kids used to look forward to it each year, playing games and having fun in a big space.

God, it sounds awful. Who really wants to sit in a community centre ever never mind on Christmas Day when you'd have to lug all the stuff there and back, kids new toys, no home comforts, no Christmas tree?

Hard no to that one. And I sympathise because my mum has form for batshit ideas 😂

Just decline, have Christmas at your own house, sister will probably come and visit say on Boxing Day.

It's a bare hall with a houseplant and hard stacking chairs, a small kitchen at the back and a toilet. It's had new flooring and a new kitchen recently. Largeish windows with obscure glass in so you can't see out or in.
It's alright I suppose. I'd probably hire it for a kid's bouncy castle party but it's not a home”

In that case, firm no from me. Imagine travelling from Australia to be given (reheated?) Christmas dinner there!

I’ve never heard of it before 😂

Sounds like a good idea to me. If it doesn't work, don't do it again. It's just one year and worth a try.

My thoughts exactly. I have a perfectly adequete home with a fireplace and everything. Sod that.

I think that it's worth a try. I would try and accomodate my Mum's wishes. I think that it could be quite merry with everyone mucking in and plenty of room to play. Could you bring bean bags/inflatable chairs too. I am one of 4 and also have a sibling in Oz. Last time we had Christmas together my sister and BIL hosted lunch for 20 with table and chairs borrowed from the village hall. It wasn't particularly comfy but it was a wonderful day.

But why though? I love my mum but why do her wishes need to be accomodated over everyone else's? Why are we sitting in a cold and unhomely community centre when we can cook and host a lovely day in our homes? Shes had decades of hosting and then she chose to downsize. Time to hand over to the next generation, surely?

My in laws have done this.

It actually works very very well, although I was quite skeptical at first.

It's definitely a thing.

I agree with you, understand her not hosting any more after many years, pity see does not see having someone else host as a positive.

That sounds quite good fun to me! You could do things to make it cosy and lovely although it would take effort, but that’s your mum’s job. There would be loads of space for the kids to play and you could always offer to do the drinks bit after dinner at one your houses later.

Do you really have enough comfortable seats for 15+ people in your “large 3 bedroom house”? Hard plastic chairs are fine for dining. I can see it might not be much fun for a whole day but surely half the guests are going to end up sitting on dining chairs, perching on chair arms or sitting on the floor at your house rather than comfy sofas?

If your mum is a trustee of the hall, I assume you can have access on Christmas Eve to decorate if it’s not hired out? That could be a fun family activity - some mulled wine, Christmas music, adults decorating while the kids enjoy running around the space.

If some of you live nearby, couldn’t you do Christmas breakfast and presents at home, lunch at the community hall and make use of the space for some party games, then head to your house later for a chilled evening if people want to watch a film or relax by the fire?

More importantly, what does your sister from Oz think about it? It does sound a bit like you just want everything your way. It could be lovely if you all pull together to make it work.

I guess because she doesn’t often have all her children together in one country very often and rarely sees her DD in Australia she would like to host her family this time? She might be thinking that she not be up for hosting 15+ people next time you are all together for Christmas or be able to afford it so wants to do it for one last time before she hands over to the next generation. I’m guessing she is probably in her sixties so not old but old enough to think she might not have the energy to find it enjoyable to host Christmas next time your sister comes back to the UK or afford the cost once she retires.