Christmas at a community centre?

[Applescruffle]

I have a big family with five siblings, all with partners and four of us with kids. We alternate Christmases so one year we can spend it with our in-laws and the next with our own families. Now I know it's only April, but we've started talking about Christmas already mostly because one sister is planning to visit from Australia.
Mum downsized from a big house to a small, two bedroom flat three years ago. Not only is the flat quite small anyway, she likes a lot of furniture and a lot of stuff, think absolute opposite of miminalist. If theres an inch of spare space, she has to fill it. Needless to say, her flat is very claustrophobic.
However, even though mum chose to downsize and has a cramped space, she doesn't seem to get why family gatherings are never at her house anymore and wants to play host even though her kitchen is the size of a postage stamp. So this year she has said she wants to host Christmas at the local community centre for which she is a trustee and she manages "so we can all fit"
My question is WHHHYY do we need to have Christmas in a bloody community centre when me and my sister have large three bedroom houses, have hosted successful Christmases before and I am happy to do so again?
Just why am I going to take my kids out of ther home to sit on hard chairs in a bare hall on Christmas day?
Sister says we can make it cosy and Christmassy? I disagee.
Would you have your Christmas at a community centre when you have a perfectly adequate space at home everyone can come to?
I get that she wants to do it but if that's the case, she really shouldnt have moved, and no she didn't have to.
And I'm a better cook than her anyway

I'm from an immigrant family and my best memories are of community centre Eid parties. 10 to 20 families would chip in for the entertainment, hall, food and drinks because we we had no other family in this country.

The kitchens were huge so the lunch could be cooked quickly in giant cookers and ovens. Plus there were plenty of parking and toilet facilities and outdoor space. I think it is a win win situation as there'll be lots of room to spread out.

She still needs permission. If it's anything like the community halls that I've been involved in, a risk assessment is needed for the insurance to be valid, especially if cooking is involved. It would be treated as though she is hiring it. The decorating, then cleaning it up, is just extra work. Put your collective feet down. She can play host at your house.

Oh please do read

I even commented what was vile. The attitude towards her mum about basically being too old

Never said OP needed to spend all Christmas Eve decorating either but ya know

Wouldn’t be willing to do this, but it is hard to influence big groups of family so decide if you’d be OK with spending xmas without your extended family before you say no.

I wish I had a lovely big family to spend my Christmas with, to me it sounds strange but exciting and my kids would love it. I’d love to see my mum happy hosting Christmas with all her family.

I think 20 families definitely makes a party. One family sitting in the middle of an empty hall, not so much.

As I was reading 5 siblings, plus partners and children, I figured you were going to be in favor of the community center approach and were trying to convince others of the plan. That is a massive number of people to fit into a private home. Even a large home is going to feel crowded with that many people. I think it’s an excellent idea.

It's only April. Even if there's a sister coming from Australia.

You don't have to entertain this bullshit from your mother. She chose to downsize. Just decide between you who's going to host. Then forget about it until nearer the time.

Cushions and ‘silliness’ for her ‘dear mum’.
All sounds a bit twee.

It is probably a cold hall which will be hard to warm up. Huge amounts of hassle bringing the food and crockery etc and keeping the meal hot. Then washing up. What a hassle. Completely avoidable.

The mum is being selfish and making it all about herself. Nope.

I like the sound of it. It sounds all Call the Midwife-y. You'd all need to embrace it though. Decorate it with paper chains and a tree. Organise party games. I think it would be brilliant! And more spacious than a 3 bedroom house.

God no.

If you live in a 3 bedroomed house, how are you going to fit 4 families, plus two other couples, plus your Mum (I don't know if there is Dad ? Aunts / Uncles ? anyone else) ?
Surely that is at least 13 adults and lets say at least 8 dc.
Where will they all go in a 3 bedroomed house ?

The hall sounds like an excellent plan to me.
Space for everyone to be able to move around a bit and the kids to play without everyone tripping over each other.

Why are you saying it will be cold ? Halls can have heating you know.

As many others have said - why not try it and see how it goes. Try it with an open mind. If it turns out people don't like it, then don't do it again.

We've done this! Xmas day is regularly 30- 40of us. Its great ! Better than the year we had a marquee in the garden. That was a terrible idea.

I would much rather have our huge, crazy xmas in a hall than not spend it with my family.

Sounds utterly horrific.

Sitting on cold hard school chairs in somewhere with no tree and decorations and a shit oven that isn’t for nice dinners. No sofa to sit on. Nope. Hire a huge rental if can afford it if she wants that but hell to the no

I'd do it all up, huge winter wonderland for the kids, if mam is a maximalist she'll be ace at doing that!

Do you have space for 15 people in a 3 bed house though? I wouldn't in mine. In fact I only have 4 proper dining chairs, 2 folding ones, and 1 stool so people would be on the floor!

Is the community hall near your homes? You and your mum can cook at home and then transport to the venue if you need more kitchen space?

Also, if close, can decamp to yours post Christmas lunch too.

It wouldn't be my first choice, but I'd try it for one year. I don't think it would end up cheaper, but you would have more space.

We have a massive family and we have held Christmas Day in a community venue for the last few years and it has always been absolutely brilliant. Everyone has loved it and loved being able to get everyone in the same place on Christmas Day. Go for it!

It's a reasonable assumption to think that we don't see sister in Australia much but actually, she visits loads. She's just left, having been here for 3 weeks, her last visit before that was in October, and she's coming again at Christmas 😄

And FWIW, Aussie sis hates the idea, it's local sis that's on mum's side, sis no 3 also hates the idea and brother has no opinion/doesn't care either way.

I would decline and have a home Christmas.

I mean I wouldn't put it like that but yeah, it is time to hand over to the new generation with the space to fit everyone in. When I was a kid, my Nan didn't host, my mum or my auntie did, my Nan and Grandad had downsized to a tiny, two bed terrace. We still used to go round in early December and help her decorate her tree and she was still very much involved in Christmas, with a million lovely memories but she wasn't the host, she was waited on, as she had earned to be.

So it's op who'll still be the one to do the cooking and hosting? Still a no!

But OP has already said this community hall only has a tiny kitchen. Useless for Christmas dinner for 15 I should think. And only one toilet too.

And spot the difference between 20 FAMILIES and 15 PEOPLE.

Your post makes no sense. It's a completely different scenario.

Exactly. I hadn't even thought of setting it all up on Christmas eve. Now I want to do it even less. Christmas eve is my favourite part of Christmas, and I'm spending it snuggled up with my kids after a month of hard work, and then going to mass. Not placing cushions around a gloomy hall.

As any reasonable person would.